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Video: James Toney Says the Only Freak Show is Between His Legs

(Video courtesy YouTube/MMAFighting)

The more interviews I see with James Toney, the more I’m beginning to think the guy really believes that six months of sprawl training is going to give him the tools to walk through Randy Couture and subsequently earn him a shot at Brock Lesnar, whom he feels he will knock out with a lazy jab while adjusting his shorts. 

Juanito Ibarra is a helluva drug.

Ariel Helwani deserves a medal for getting through an entire interview with the International Boxing Association and North American Boxing Organization heavyweight champion without a single, "C’mon James. You don’t really believe that, do you?"

As a service to our loyal readers, we’ve taken on the arduous and painstaking task of transcribing the interview highlights. Luckily, I speak incoherent drunken hobo — a skill I picked up from years of court ordered community service charity work volunteering at local soup kitchens.

Here’s what Toney had to say about a number of topics.

On why he is making the transition to MMA from boxing:

"I like to fight. Here I am one of the reigning heavyweight champions [in boxing] and I can’t get the other champions to fight me, or anybody else for [that matter]. When I heard Dana White say MMA fighters are better than boxers, I had to put a hold to it, so that’s why we’re here." 

"He didn’t call me out, but he called boxing out. People were telling me this. When I heard that, I had to step up to the plate for boxing. I represent boxing. I represent old school; that’s me."

On why he decided to stalk White:

"I wasn’t worried about getting signed. I don’t care about getting signed by nobody. James Toney is James Toney. I heard he was telling people on Twitter, ‘If James Toney wants to see me here, come here.’ So I just did what he didn’t think I was gonna do and when I showed up it kind of shocked him a little bit. There’s no animosity between me and Dana White…none at all. He’s a good dude; I love him. I love the UFC. I’ll always be a big fan of it, but if you step over the boundaries and say you’re better than somebody else, I got a big problem with that. So here I am to rectify it."

On his non-sensical descriptions of what he knows about MMA including the "side-check kick":

"I don’t know nothin’ about the sport. Tune in on August 28 to see how much I know about the sport. Tune in August 28 — pay your $59.95 or whatever you gotta pay for it — Tune in and watch and see how much I know."

On whom he has been training with for the bout with Couture:

"I got my dad, King Mo Mousasi and a couple of guys…I don’t know… Antonio McKee — some good fighters and some good athletes and some excellent people."

On whether or not he tapped out King Mo in training:

"You ask King Mo. [If he said it] well then, it happened. I ain’t gonna lie to you. Rear naked choke, baby."

On where his wrestling and jiu-jitsu skill set are:

"I don’t know jiu-jitsu. I don’t know wrestling. All I know is how to fight, period."

On whether or not Couture was his first choice of opponents:

"You all here this guy over here? Do I rather fight anybody else? Man, look, I told Dana when I first came to the UFC I don’t want to fight none of these bums; I want the best. I wanted to fight [Brock Lesnar], but he was sick and I didn’t know that. So I said, ‘What about Chuck Liddell?’ He was sitting there all scared and nervous. I wasn’t gonna hit him there. And then Simba…or Kimba or whatever you call him…Kimbo Slice, but they ain’t want none of that. Then [Randy Couture] says, ‘I want James Toney so I can baptize him into the UFC’. Fine. Let’s do it. If fans out there don’t like me, that’s too goddamn bad. After August 28 you all really ain’t gonna like me because I’m gonna destroy your so-called legend. A guy with 12 losses is a legend. Ain’t that a bitch."

On the farce that is the UFC’s Hall of Fame:

"That’s why y’all’s sport is so messed up. Like boxing or the NFL or NBA, you have to retire for four or five years before you can be considered a ‘Hall of Famer’. [Couture] has never retired and he’s already in the hall of fame. Ya’ll got shit backwards, but I’m gonna clean it up."

On boxing being better than MMA:

"All day, I’m telling you. What you gonna do about it? August 28, find out."

On David Haye’s remarks about him being delusional for thinking he will be successful in MMA:

"David Haye’s a mama’s boy. He’s gay. It’s gonna be Randy, [then] David, [then] the ‘Bitchko’ sisters. It don’t even matter. David could have fought me by now. we could have fought October 10, but instead he’s fighting Audley Harrison. I’m not even thinking about him. If he has to go out of his way to talk about James Toney, damn, there’s something wrong with him. My mind’s on Randy Couture. He’s a great fighter and I ain’t got no animosity towards him. He’s a great fighter in this sport, but come August 28 it’s business and I’m gonna kick his ass."

On White’s comments that Toney-Couture is a freakshow bout:

"Man, the only freakshow I got is between my legs. I don’t even think about that. I mean, Dana White, he’s good dude and we cool."

On whether White’s remarks confuse him:

"Confuse me?! What the fuck?! Do I look like I’m blonde? It don’t confuse me for nothing. I’m gonna handle my own business. He can think what he want to think. That’s cool. Sideshow, sideslow, slideshow — whatever you want to call it. Tune in everybody August 28. Get all your friends together and go to one house, or better yet, go to separate houses and pay your $59.95."

On his future in MMA:

"After I knock out Couture, I’m gonna defend my real heavyweight boxing title in October or November and then come back to fight in the UFC in January or February. It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna do it. I’m a two-sport athlete — the oldest man ever to do that."

Cagepotato Comments

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ccman- July 6, 2010 at 11:19 pm
A. Tooney is selling the fight. He does not believe a word he is saying.

B. Couture is REALLY not who he should be fighting... damn you silva.

C. As fans were screwin ourselves putting so much significance on this fight. It will prove nothin outside tooney never wrestled or couture has never slipped a punch.

D. We really need to quit feeding the animals.... tooney needs the attention to live, I say starve him.
LetMeStickItInYourRua- July 6, 2010 at 9:32 pm
I think that regardless of the outcome of the fight that the entire roster of the UFC, WEC and hell the WWE should come in an stomp him. MAKE IT HAPPEN!
SomeDude- July 6, 2010 at 9:13 pm
if his communication skills were any worse his speech would be considered another language. but i can't deny that i'm some what intrigued by James Toney's debut in mma. Toney is a legitimate striker with significant ability. granted, his wrestling abilities, takedown defense and clinch skills are light years behind Couture's; if Toney can utilize his footwork and boxing to keep Couture at a distance he has a legitimate chance.
toney potato- July 6, 2010 at 5:17 pm
kudnt holp miisef, toonee n de hoos bisshes!! (quit staring at my skulltwat!!)
Cornerman- July 6, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Dum nigger is dum nigger is dum.....nigger.
Solitaire- July 6, 2010 at 5:09 pm
Randy has a "shit record" because he doesn't pad his record fighting bums. Take a look at the names on his record; it's a Who's Who of the sport.

James is a master of shit talk. I remember once when he was supposed to fight a British guy, he went on TV there and trashed the queen. He was an all-time great boxer. But in his last 9 boxing matches, has two wins, two losses, a draw, and two no-contests, one of which came because he tested positive for steroids. And just FYI, he's not a millionaire, he's doing MMA because he's broke and needs cash.
the mocker- July 6, 2010 at 4:29 pm
Toney is one fat fucker. I hope Randy drags it into the second and third round just so I can see the chubby fucker get gassed.
Dick_Gozenya- July 6, 2010 at 2:12 pm
Me too! Me too! Me too!
ComaPlata- July 6, 2010 at 1:40 pm
^and you... And me!
T_Durden- July 6, 2010 at 1:12 pm
There's always the douche-bag who feels obligated to post something. Today, that would be you.
The Hammer- July 6, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Good luck james toney I love boxing but it has kind of tried to destroy itself for years with the crooked promoters (don king) the millions of weight classes and belts the inability to book the big fights that people want to see this is why toney is coming to mma he sees the money and knows his freakshow status is good for at least 2 to 3 fights now that kimbo showed him the way!!! Yes he is a great boxer and yes he can knock out randy if he stands with him but does he honestly believe that the ammount of training he has done will out do the olympic team alternate and world chanpionship level greco roman wretling and countless hours of submission training that randy has put in!?! Rand has never deviated from the grab them put them on their back and punish them style he has always had and I don't see him getting taunted into a boxing match with a world champion boxer he is the king of game planning!!!
SofaKingNyce- July 6, 2010 at 1:06 pm
I think Toney said Dana was scared when he asked "What about Chuck.." - which could easily be true.

But, I feel like Toney's taking this..

Either-or, it's going to be a quick fight.
justscrappin- July 6, 2010 at 12:58 pm
I keep replaying this horrible scene in my mind...where Randy wades in like a zombie as Chuck clips him with some weird angled punch and puts him out. I now see Toney doing that exact same thing. I'm not saying it would happen 10 times if they fought 10 times...but there is a good chance. Also the whole he hasn't knocked anyone out since 2003 thing isn't a real stat. We can all agree he is chubby, lazy and narrowminded. So he doesn't do shit but spar all day. He used to compete at 168lbs. He is now fighting 220-250lbs hulking beasts...and outpointing them. He lands a shot on a guy Randy's size...with 4oz gloves....completely different story.
iDestroy- July 6, 2010 at 12:24 pm
@ dan gada dang and whoever else

I think he was saying DW was the one who got nervous and scared. I'm sure the thought of Chuck getting his jaw jacked by Toney is terrifying to him.

Chuck wouldn't be scared, no. But you aint gotta be scared to get KTFO'd.
howardsternspenis- July 6, 2010 at 12:21 pm
@ 2dadeath..

its called Mixed Martial Arts....not One Martial Art....

you really think brock lesnar would have beat carwin if he hadnt had some submission training and ground work?? he obviously trained some submissions for that even looked like he was trying to get his legs up for an armbar when he was getting hammered.

pretty sure they dont teach you how to lock in submissions in wrestling.
pantsnotwithstanding- July 6, 2010 at 12:19 pm
@ T-Durden

While you're at it, look at how many times randy has knocked a guy out since 2003. Or how many times James Toney has been knocked out. Or how many times Randy has been knocked out.
joshuan29- July 6, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Ok. I do hereby move to scrap the fight with Randy Couture. Let's put James Toney in there with Brock Lesnar since he thinks he can beat him. I'd love to see how many body parts Toney would leave in the octagon.

And BTW: James Toney was breathing heavy just talking. There's no way his gas tank holds out with Couture. Hopefully the natural doesn't just beat Tony......He destroys him.
talkischeep- July 6, 2010 at 12:14 pm
James in mma try to keep the s#$t talking to a minimum and rely on skill this is mma not boxing learn from don kings endless mistakes that led to the end of boxing, your attitude wont get you anywhere in the octagon. oh and randy has no fear!
Ballkick- July 6, 2010 at 12:10 pm
ReX13 Says:
Tue, 07/06/2010 - 12:33
Ballkick Says:

"I say you might have missed it because he's always out of frame."

I don't know if what you say is true, but i do know that it was hilarious

I knew someone would get the joke
Sabado Gigante- July 6, 2010 at 12:06 pm

How about making it a 4-way and adding Frank Mir to that list! I truley believe Mir's shit-talking is more effective than his record indicates
andoy162- July 6, 2010 at 12:03 pm
damn, this interview says everything about his cardio, and his career in mma.
full of sh*t.
Sakuraba3900- July 6, 2010 at 11:57 am
I think the UFC should have a 3-way shit talking battle featuring the best in the biz:


the shit talkin would be of EPIC PROPORTIONS
ComaPlata- July 6, 2010 at 11:50 am
@MMA Mafia

Brock yes. But in a bar fight I would substitute Fedor AND Wandy for Bas Rutten.
T_Durden- July 6, 2010 at 11:49 am
So in summary, David Haye's a gay heavyweight champ, momma's boy. The Klitschko bros are bitches. Chuck Liddell is scared. Kimbo's name has really been 'Simba' all this time and Randy Couture has a cross-dressing doll out, and two extra losses that noone knew about.

This clown has had ONE knockout since 2003! He's convincing everyone that he's 10x more dangerous than he really is. He'll have no time to stall with Randy, half of his attention will be given to striking the other half to staying on his feet, and he has to worry about strikes (knees, elbows, kicks) he's never seen, coming from angles he's never had to worry about. He's done. I personally cannot wait!
KarmaAteMyCat- July 6, 2010 at 11:49 am
I don't think much of what comes out of his mouth can be related or connected to any form of actual reality.