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[VIDEO] Karo Parisyan Submits Hapless Opponent at Gladiator Challenge: King of the Mountain

(Karo Parisyan: A beast when he wins, a Hollywood cliche when he loses.)

Did someone say King of the mountain?

It may be a long time before we see Karo Parisyan competing in a top level promotion again, but he took one step closer by utterly destroying Anonymous Tatted-up Opponent #237 (known professionally as, we shit you not, Tiger Bonds) at Gladiator Challenge: King of the Mountain over the weekend. It was Parisyan’s second victory in his past three contests, which is only made less than impressive when you consider that his other win came over Thomas Denny. And that he had dropped four of his past five before that. But hey, we’re taking the optimistic approach today, so all you haters can suck a bag of dicks.

Video below.

Adhering to the advice offered by his legion of swooning fans, Parisyan does in fact “Bring the heat” in the early going, nearly finding Bonds’ off button with the first punch he throws. From there, it’s Karo 101: judo toss, clinch, judo toss, armbar. Whereas most MMA sites covering this will likely offer up some hackneyed “He looks like the Karo of old” type phrase somewhere in their assessment of his performance, we’re a little more hesitant to declare that Karo version 2.0, 2.5, 3.75 is finally back on the right track. That said, he looked a lot better than he has in quite some time and we truly wish all the best for the guy in the future.

Ugh. All this optimism is making me feel dead inside.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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Mongrel- October 2, 2012 at 12:32 am
I was doubting the legitimacy of this MMA promotion, but was reassured when the guy with one shoe walked on.
RwilsonR- October 1, 2012 at 7:02 pm
After the fight, when Karo rhetorically asked, "Do you know who I am, bro?", none of the kids in that backyard could come up with an answer.
mDino- October 1, 2012 at 10:39 pm
Phattousai- October 1, 2012 at 4:51 pm
I'd love to see a counter on how many people were brave enough to click the "eat a bag of dicks" hyperlink...
ArmFarmer- October 1, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Looked like he coulda just knocked him out whenever he wanted. With whatever he wanted.
El Guapo- October 1, 2012 at 2:33 pm
"Dude, brro. I'm Karo 4.0"
J.Jones- October 1, 2012 at 2:01 pm
@12 oz
Fried Taco- October 1, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Dang, CP is being too nice lately.
The12ozCurls- October 1, 2012 at 1:36 pm
HOLY SHITBALL! Click the "Denny" hyperlink.
WTF JJ? Poultrygeist - Freaking amazing!