11 Famous Actors and Their Embarrassing Early Film Roles

VIDEO: Kron Gracie vs. Shinya Aoki at Metamoris II — Main Event [w/FULL EVENT RESULTS]

And now for something completely different.

Here at CagePotato, we were fortunate enough to secure a ton of great interviews with the participants, the crossover stars, the headliners, and even the founder of Metamoris II, Ralek Gracie, thanks to Elias Cepeda’s tireless work (he actually managed to secure a few video interviews at the event as well, which we will have up soon). We discussed what is was like to compete in a unique, submission-only based Jiu-Jitsu event such as Metamoris with everyone from “Mini Megaton” Mackenzie Dern to UFC heavyweight Brendan Schaub. And yesterday, it all came to a head at Metamoris II.

The good: Kron Gracie and Shinya Aoki put on a relatively entertaining scrap in the evening’s main event, the results of which we will not spoil for you. The bad: Every other match on the PPV card tested (and exceeded) both the limits of the “submission only” pretense of the event and that of the crowd’s patience. The ugly: Brendan Schaub…we’ll get to that in a minute.

Let’s stick with the main event for now, which featured a meeting of Jiu-Jitsu masters in Gracie and Aoki (video above).

After a feeling out process that lasted roughly 4 minutes, Kron leapt into full guard and immediately got to work. Aoki was able to separate himself momentarily and appeared to be setting up one of his classic leg locks when Kron snatched up a lightning-quick guillotine. Although Aoki was initially able to roll out of it, Kron was able to re-secure an arm-in version of the choke during a scramble that nearly sent both competitors toppling off the stage. With a referee basically holding the two up, Kron cranked the guillotine from the mount and elicited the tap. There was much rejoicing.

Before we even get to Brendan Schaub vs. Roberto “Cyborg” Abreu —  a match of which my previous statement could not be applied in any way, shape, or form — we should first discuss the apparent rule change that not only distinguished Metamoris II from that of its first event, but ended up acting as a crutch in the evening’s proceedings. We are talking, of course, about judging.

You see, Metamoris originally prided itself on being a “submission only” grappling event, with any match exceeding the 20 minute time period being declared an automatic draw. However, somewhere between the first event and last night, judges were brought into the mix, because what could they possibly screw up? Adding to the pointlessness of these nameless, faceless judges was a ridiculously vague scoring system wherein “no specific order or value [is] placed on one element of the criteria over another.” Aside from eliminating the “submission only” allure of Metamoris altogether, this rule change would result in two draws where winners probably could have been declared (in Victor Estima vs. JT Torres and Michelle Nicolini vs. Mackenzie Dern) and three rather pointless decisions considering the previously established criteria of the promotion.

And then there was Brendan Schaub. Poor, dimwitted Brendan Schaub.

Heading into last night’s event, Schaub assured us that his upcoming fight with Matt Mitrione at UFC on FOX 8 would have no effect on his gameplan or mindset when competing against submission grappling champion Roberto “Cyborg” Abreu. Schaub also insisted that he wouldn’t let his ego get in the way should he find himself caught in a potentially dangerous submission, and that, “If I didn’t think I could beat this guy, I wouldn’t have taken the match. I don’t sign up for win-wins. A loss would sting. I’m here to fight for a win.” Based on his performance alone last night, it appears that Schaub was pulling the wool over our eyes for reasons we cannot yet explain.

To call Schaub’s match with Abreu an embarrassment to both himself and Metamoris in general would be…accurate, to put it lightly. When Schaub and Abreu actually engaged in the early going, “Cyborg” attempted a pair of leg locks, only to have Schaub literally scurry out of danger. For the rest of the contest, Schaub all but refused to engage Abreu in any sort of grappling exchange, simply standing by as Abreu attempted to goad him into his guard from a seated position. In short, it was a lot like watching the chess match between Antonius Block and Death, only far less entertaining and with far less at stake. It got so bad that at one point, a spectator told the brown belt TUF alum that he “might earn his blue belt one day.” We know go to Michael Kelso for a reaction…

And if Schaub’s performance wasn’t embarrassing enough by itself, his attempt to defend said performance surely was.

“I make my living in the UFC,” Schaub said. “If he takes my leg, I’m not going to be able to make a living. I’m not letting the crowd pressure get to me, if I do that, he’s taking home a leg.”

That’s great, Brendan, except that no one gives a shit what you do for a living because you chose to compete in a Jiu-Jitsu match against a BJJ champion, knowing full well that the outcome could potentially have an adverse effect on your fighting career. Simply put, if I don’t want to drink donkey semen, I don’t sign up for Fear Factor (emphasis on ”if”).

After Abreu rightfully called Schaub out for his refusal to engage, “The Hybrid” took his cluelessness to the ultimate level by stating, and I quote, “Ask Mirko Cro Cop if I don’t engage. Ask Gabriel Gonzaga.”

Dude

To end on a positive note, the Andre Galvao/Rafael Lovato and Braulio Estima/Rodolfo Vieira matches were like Henderson/Rua compared to the travesty that was Schaub vs. Abreu. You can check out some highlights from those scraps (and the rest of the card) here, courtesy of BloodyElbow.

Full results for Metamoris II are below.

-Kron Gracie def. Shinya Aoki via guillotine choke
-Rodolfo Vieira def. Braulio Estima via split decision
-Andre Galvao def. Rafael Lovato Jr. by unanimous decision
-Roberto “Cyborg” Abreu def. Brendan Schaub by unanimous decision
-Mackenzie Dern and Michelle Nicolini compete to a draw
-Jonathan Torres and Victor Estima compete to a draw

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

comments
Sort by : Show hidden comments
omunto- June 11, 2013 at 3:57 pm
It was a pretty fun event outside of the schuab match. I did notice that many of the guys were more cautious than last time. I'm am most excited for the announcement about Gracie v Bravo for Metamoris 3. Its been like 10 years since that match!
lundyforlife- June 10, 2013 at 7:37 pm
I only saw the fast highlight of the Shaub match. I thought they both looked silly. Why didn't abreu try a little harder for a take down instead of whining ? Did he really think Shaub was going to play his game?
Mr_Misanthropy- June 10, 2013 at 3:54 pm
Hey- c'mon guys- Schwab's pretty engaging when he's getting planked by various heavy weights in the UFC...
Pen Fifteen- June 10, 2013 at 9:23 am
Yes, ask Gabriel Gonzaga if Brendan Schaub engages. And he'll tell you how he got jab-and-prayed for fourteen minutes, and then nearly caught Schaub with an RNC in less than 30 seconds after Schaub shot for a takedown just to score points.
CagePotatoMMA