Steroids in MMA
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[VIDEO] Michael Bisping Talks TRT and God Damn It, We Actually Agree With Him

(I don’t always accuse Hector Lombard of using steroids, but when I do, I make this face.)  

Potato Nation, I feel like I should say something in regards to Michael Bisping, because it seems that every time we poke fun at the bloke, a few of you get all butt hurt and call us wankers or poofters before begging your mothers to kiss the wound and make it all better. You claim that we are biased against British people, and though we have every right to be, this is simply not the case.

So here’s the deal; I personally have nothing against you Brits. I find your accents to be glorious, dignified, and far more soothing on the ear to than the slack jawed “wickid aaawesomes” New England has to offer. I love the The Inbetweeners, Samuel Smith’s Nut Brown Ale, Ricky Gervais, and a platter of Bangers and Mash as much as the rest of you probably do, if not more. As a matter of fact, I don’t even hate Michael Bisping. Sure, the guy is a dick by all accounts, but I can’t really claim to hate someone that I’ve never met before. I’m simply not that cynical, and I’m sure the same goes for my fellow writers. But this is CagePotato. We make jokes here. And we just happen to enjoy targeting guys like Bisping, Josh Koscheck, fat BJ Penn, and Dana White, because we enjoy picking the lowest hanging fruit. We good now? Alright, let’s move on.

The reason I give this disclaimer is due to the fact that Bisping recently sat down with Mauro Ranallo for a lengthy interview a month out from his UFC 152 fight with “All American” Brian Stann. We know, you’re thinking we’re going to set him up for a punchline here, but that is not the case today. Everything from the current injury curse to Hector Lombard’s dud of a debut was discussed, but it was when they came to the issue of TRT that Bisping actually made an argument that we could get behind. Our buddies over at MiddleEasy shared our concern. Granted, Bisping had to reduce most of his argument to the crudest terms available, but that doesn’t make it wrong:

I think it’s absolute nonsense, rubbish, bullshit. Listen, we all get old, we all grow up, you know? At some point, as you start getting older, your balls don’t work as well and you don’t make as much testosterone, but, that’s life and you deal with it. A guy that is 40-years old doesn’t make as much testosterone as a 21-year old so he gets an exemption certificate to say, ‘So now we will give him as much testosterone as a 21-year old.’ Well, what about me, I’m 33 (years of age), I’m not making the same amount as a 21-year old, but I make more than a 40-year old.

Where do we draw the line? It’s nonsense.

Bisping continued:

 Listen, nature determines that and I don’t think we should interfere with that. I think it’s cheating very, very well, it’s dressed up. Its nonsense, its absolute bullshit and I, for one, am very, very against it. I would never ever do that. I am who I am and I’ve done well doing what I do. 

We’re not going to ask you to delve any further into your opinions regarding TRT, because it somehow already feels like old news despite the relatively short period that mainstream society has been aware of it. But suffice it to say, Bisping is spot-on here, and I feel like I’m going to be sick for writing that. Like my world is tearing apart at the seems.

A few more highlights from the interview:

On Brian Stann: “He seems like a great guy. He does. From a personal level, I haven’t got anything against the guy.”

Mauro: “Does that bother you?”

“Yeah, it does a little bit. I’d prefer to give him some shit. I like it when I don’t like them…people say ‘Oh, you don’t want to get thrown off your game. Don’t let it get to you, because it gets you mad and it gets you angry and throws you off your game.’ For me, that’s the best thing you can do to me. I’m an emotional guy. When I’m mad and pissed off, I’m three times more of a handful…it’s like the woman lifting the car off the baby. Get me mad and I’m like that.”

On Training: “I love to fight. My favorite part of training is sparring, that’s all I do all day every day. I don’t wear a head guard. I don’t need to; I don’t get hit. Simple as that. Look at this face. Does it look like a man that’s taken many punches? Come on, sortyouselfoutmaro (one word). I don’t wear a head guard, ’cause I don’t fuckin’ need to! I shouldn’t swear so much, sorry.”

On his general dickishness and how it affects his marketability (Author’s note: See! We weren’t making it up!): “I’ve always been like that, to be honest. I’ve always had too much to say. I’m always trying to have a laugh and be funny and all the rest of it or maybe too opinionated…I make mistakes, I know I do, and I just try not to make the same mistakes twice.” (Note: Don’t worry, Michael, just look into your mirror each morning and say these inspirational words. That’s how we get by.) 

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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billbones- August 20, 2012 at 5:55 am
What the fuck do I know....
You are doing a great Job, keep it up!
just my personal opinion that on a fan site such as this its short punchy jokes that come off best.
Longer set ups would probably be better suited to a more art based website.
Just one mans opinion, in any case I will look forward to reading more of you in the future.
linzhanfe- August 19, 2012 at 5:30 am
Pen Fifteen- August 18, 2012 at 11:11 am

Instead of giving a hand-waving rebuttal as to the "dozen-plus causes of hypogonadism," why not enumerate some of them for us? I have yet to see a single peer-reviewed academic study that connects this condition with weight-cutting, which is the most common cause cited. Your credulity in the face of anecdotes like, for example, Chael having his TRT signed off on by his personal physician, rather than an endocrinologist, is stunning. Or Frank Mir, a guy who has never cut weight in his life, suddenly packing on 25 pounds of beef that he never before had concordant with his adoption of this "therapeutic" treatment.

Its clear that the procedures for allowing TRT are incredibly ad hoc and not grounded in empirical experimentation. How any sane person could not be suspicious of such a regime is beyond me.
Mr_Misanthropy- August 18, 2012 at 3:14 am
@ Crapasstrophy (See what I did there?)

Thanks for the compliments! Glad you enjoy my awesome comments! It means a lot coming from somebody of your obvious intelligence and integrity. Don't forget to vote, your opinion matters.
ctastrophe- August 17, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Oh my god! You have to be the most clever person to ever comment on the internet! Here I am, my screen name "ctastrophe", and then you come along and spell it "Craptastrophe"! Like poop! It's like you took a normal screen name, and then totally flip it on its head by changing just a few letters and now it looks like my name is poop!

Wow! If you don't already, you should totally get a job writing for movies or stand-up comedy or something. You are just too witty and funny. How have you not won every week's Best Comment? With this kind of material you should just get the award every week without the need for a vote! All of your posts are funnier and more clever than everyone else's combined!

"Craptastrophe" when it's "ctastrophe"! Now I've seen everything! My stomach hurts from laughing so hard!
Mr_Misanthropy- August 19, 2012 at 2:52 am
I voted for you, just because you're special.
Mr_Misanthropy- August 17, 2012 at 10:23 pm
@ JJ and BG

When are you guys printing up the custom Cage Potato hankies?

There's alot of crybabies around here these days. You have the comment of the week but you should have the crysack of the week also. Everybody could mercilessly ridicule them in the comment section for it.
Mr_Misanthropy- August 17, 2012 at 10:20 pm
@ Craptastrophe

Dude, Encylcopedia Brittanica is down the hall. This is that one website, you know, the one with the jokes?

Nobody said anything about your hypogonadism here, they don't even know yet.
Gobbleston- August 17, 2012 at 9:45 pm
@Seansoloxxx - Walter White.
ctastrophe- August 17, 2012 at 8:37 pm
You agree with Michael Bisping because you, like Bisping, don't understand how TRT and hypogonadism work. That is the only possible way you could agree with him.

TRT isn't about "oh I don't have the T levels of a 21-year-old so give me juice please" - it's about guys whose bodies have lost the ability to produce enough testosterone to function normally. The standard qualification for TRT is having T levels below 300ng/dL. This isn't the equivalent levels of a 30-something-year-old or even a 40-something-year-old, but an 80-something-year-old! Some guys' bodies over-do the shutting down process when they hit a certain age. Why should a 33-year-old have to retire when they don't even have the T levels of a 30-something-year-old? Aside from that, age isn't the only thing that causes low T, and it is completely inaccurate to keep focusing on only one of the dozen-plus causes of hypogonadism and acting like it's the only one. Well, that and past steroid use, seem to be the only two causes that get media attention.

Why single out testosterone when diabetes, asthma, and thyroid medications are widely abused as well? Should fighters be allowed to fight with contacts or lasik? Having above average vision could help significantly, but nobody thinks of that as "performance enhancing" or "cheating". Why is it okay for diabetics to inject a hormone that changes how their body works and can totally accelerate the weight cutting process, giving them an edge in dropping weight over non-diabetic fighters? How is this different than restoring normal levels of testosterone?

Then there's this gem: "Listen, nature determines that and I don’t think we should interfere with that."

Nature determines a lot of really stupid things. Being natural doesn't make them good. Polio is natural, and vaccines are unnatural; Which do you prefer?

Natural things that happen to humans as they age: Loss of eyesight, osteoporosis, loss of skin elasticity (cut easier), hearing loss, loss in cognitive function, erectile dysfunction, etc. Will Bisping seriously not treat any of that stuff when it happens because "nature determines that and I don’t think we should interfere with that"? Death is pretty damn natural, but we spend our whole lives fighting the process.

For anyone opposed to TRT, I have one simple question for you to ponder: What is the difference in athletic performance between a guy who has 700ng/dL of testosterone naturally, and a guy who has 700ng/dL who has to inject himself once or twice a week to maintain those levels?
Mr_Misanthropy- August 18, 2012 at 3:16 am
Heeeyyy. You're pretty good at writing articles- you ever think of getting your own website? You know, on the internet?
SeanSoloXXX- August 17, 2012 at 7:24 pm
Who does Mauro think he is with that fedora? lol
billbones- August 17, 2012 at 5:43 pm
First time post
Can somebody please either fire this blogger or give him better direction.
CP is great but this guys writing is so bad, so so bad.
I would much rather read a boring story that gets to the point than have to sift through really long winded poorly written jokes.
Mr. Jones, comedy writing is very difficult. You are not a comedian, you are a blogger, stick to the facts and stop insulting your readers and doing a Discredit to yourself.
J.Jones- August 18, 2012 at 3:00 pm
@billbones Could you define long winded for me? Like a paragraph? But seriously, I'll try and tone it down.
Mr_Misanthropy- August 17, 2012 at 1:40 pm
They need to just invent a new medical process to implant extra balls. Need testosterone? Have a third ball. Name's Chael Sonnen? We'll hook you up with a six pack. It'll look like a deflated cow udder between your legs.