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Video Roundup: The Five Most Memorable Insults in ‘TUF’ History

As we recently learned, the next season of The Ultimate Fighter will be coached by a grumpy mountain man who probably won’t spend any more time on set than he absolutely needs to, and a Brazilian dynamo whose grasp on the English language is limited to simple phrases like “I believe too much in my boxing” and “tub you are a cold — so we’re not expecting a verbal rivalry on par with Tito/Ken or Rampage/Rashad. Still, it’s TUF, so somebody’s gonna get told at some point. Can this season’s insults possibly stack up to some of our past favorites?

#5: “You’re like an expert swimmer who’s never been in a pool.”

Matt Serra’s epic dress-down of Marc Laimon was his star-making moment — and a firm bitch-smack to every sideline-hater who talks tough without any intention of actually backing up his words. A year later, Serra was coaching that damn show.

#4: “Bro, you’re a male nurse.”

Like a Katy Perry song, it’s annoying as hell, and yet you can’t get it out of your head. “Bro, you’re a male nurse” — I say that to all my friends now, no matter what their professions actually are. And it aggravates them too.

#3 (tie): “I’m gonna smash your little head.” / “Shut up, monkey.” 

Ken Shamrock‘s attempts at keeping up with Tito Ortiz‘s head-games were sad, embarrassing, and oddly endearing. Tito’s head is actually quite large, but Ken decided to go the other way with it for some reason. The “monkey” thing was spot on, though.

#2: “Titties!”

While Shamrock’s taunts were laughably weak, the “titties” thing represented one of the most brutally effective re-brandings of a human being ever seen on television. When I say the name “Darrill Schoonover,” you automatically think “titties” thanks to Rampage Jackson. Schoonover actually wound up snapping on ‘Page and was within inches of throwing down. (On a coach!) And you can’t blame him. Rampage ruined that dude’s life.

#1: “You fatherless bastard.”

Ouch, Bobby. You really know how to hit a guy where it hurts. Meanwhile, Josh Koscheck cackles in the background and mocks Leben to the other guys, knowing full well that he’s a…well, you know.

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Waxedpants- January 14, 2011 at 11:43 am
Serra is the only one out of that group that actually talked shit like a man.

best part was hughes laughing hysterically in the back ground .. watch it again if you missed it
Walrus- January 14, 2011 at 10:40 am
Jason Dent: It's more enjoyable to hang out with the UK guys than it is half the fuckin' Americans.

Cameron Dollar: Well go fuckin' hang out with them.

Jason Dent: Why don't you pull your stupid fuckin' wiggidy wack hat right over your dumb face?

Nintendong- January 14, 2011 at 10:37 am
I wish Matt Serra would have got number 1. I can't stand Marc Laimon, he is a turbo douche.

There was an interview awhile back (I think here on CP) where Laimon was saying he never fought because he isn't "athletic". I call bullshit, everyone saw him shrink up like a 3rd grader when Serra verbally blasted him.

And for the record, no you cannot be an expert on something you do not do.
Sudos KFC- January 14, 2011 at 9:50 am
ccman this remains a free country for tons of reasons besides just our security. Like all the people HERE STATESIDE that battle the government, take on unfair business practices or laws, discriminations and battle the ever encroaching pull of the scare-mongers and "PC" police (so this isnt right vs. left either both sides do it)

Richard Fitzentite- January 14, 2011 at 8:43 am
I always felt "fatherless" bastard was rind of redundant.
LOKI- January 14, 2011 at 5:54 am
Does anyone know how to say ginger in portuguese?
MMAharaja- January 14, 2011 at 2:51 am
Since Matt Serra's not a politician, I'm sure he NEVER complains about politics. When he sees a bad movie, I'm sure he doesn't say anything bad about it since he's not a producer or director.
fatbellyfrank- January 13, 2011 at 10:22 pm
I would love to hear exactly what Fraggle was sayin in Daley's ear last couple of minutes of their fight, now that would be shit talkin :101
brewco- January 13, 2011 at 10:08 pm
you know what makes me sad? YOU, you jackwagon, maybe we should cruise on down to mamby pamby land and maybe we could find you some self confidence you JACKWAGON! or something like that
AndyInflammatory- January 13, 2011 at 7:19 pm
I liked it when that guy said that mean thing
HabitualLineStepper- January 13, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Nate: "Josh don't laugh at Chris. Not having a father is no laughing matter."

Josh: "No, I'm part fatherless bastard myself you see. So its cool."
budsellers- January 13, 2011 at 5:56 pm
that settles it, i like nostalgia so i am going to watch tuf:1 on wednesday nights(instead of tuf:american caveman vs foreigner caveman)
ccman- January 13, 2011 at 5:33 pm
and please anyone who agrees with 'its a free country' bullshit ask a stann or kennedy why it is a free country.

fucking fight or do not tell me a nanosecond about your freedoms. earn them, like a man. or kick my ass and show me, either way.
ccman- January 13, 2011 at 5:22 pm
a. serra should have won this hands down. titties, male nurse, whatever. he actually shut the fucker up and said what everyone else couldn't find the sack to say.

B. anything Kos has to say is thru a straw so i can not hear it.

C. everything from the last 2 seasons was weak. but seriously;
Kos talks smack like a 13 tr old who thinks he is from the hood
Page talks smack like he is an extra in dr. detroit.
Shad talks smack like he still holds on to the hope you might go down low with him
and we all know Leban is a head case with a good chin (last fight exception) so making him cry is like making my g/f cry, i will do it right now to proove the point.

Shit you guys cried today over not getting a press pass, you dump on DW all day and act shocked.... HEEEELLLLOOOOooooo
ccman- January 13, 2011 at 4:02 pm
Dear tito..... ali talked a ton before a fight but then won, and if lost never had. Excuses flying.

I never got that about pros. If I beat urkles ass by the time I'm talkin bout it he was godzilla on juice, not an old man. How if they win and are punks are you tougher by having the sniffles?
DarkmanX- January 13, 2011 at 3:53 pm
" I'm going to hit your titties and make u hit your own jaw" classic
ghostboner- January 13, 2011 at 3:22 pm
All I can say is that Yo breff stank.
irish brawler- January 13, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Man I was hot when rampage called rashad 'gayshad' cuz I have a buddy named rashad who I've been calling gayshad since the 6th grade
jimbonics- January 13, 2011 at 2:41 pm
I saw the RSS link and came here fully expecting fatherless bastard to be #1.

Sudos KFC- January 13, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Too bad serra's comments apply to about 99% of the mma fanbase/commentators.

Fight fans = clueless
Waxedpants- January 13, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Someone needs to get Serra to do a weekly bit like the mitrione minute.

make it happen CP!
Fried Taco- January 13, 2011 at 2:11 pm
The #1 and #2 videos should be watermarked with a "No Homo" image.
Darkside- January 13, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Matt Serra is the fucking man!
PingPong- January 13, 2011 at 2:09 pm
I wish Nate Quarry was my dad.
Waxedpants- January 13, 2011 at 2:06 pm
The fact that Serra isn't in a commentator booth is a travesty ..... guy is comedic gold every time he opens his mouth.
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