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[VIDEO] This Promo for Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Bob Sapp is Crazy and it Doesn’t Even Feature Bob Sapp

In its own beautiful, twisted way, Aleksander Emelianenko vs. Bob Sapp represents a meeting of two MMA titans years in the making. In one corner, you have one of the most notorious (yet somehow, hilariously cursed) can crushers in MMA history. In the other, you have perhaps the most notorious can of all time, a man so pathetic, so feeble, so shameless, that he has openly admitted to folding at the first sign of trouble in most of the fights that comprise his current ten-fight losing streak. It’s a match made in freak show heaven, right up there with Shaq vs. Canseco and Martinez vs. Zimmer II.

So with all that in mind, it’s rather appropriate that the first promo for Emelianenko’s…we wouldn’t call it anticipated return features a bearish looking Aleksander knocking over children’s sand sculptures and doing his best to look as bored as he was with James Thompson. At least that’s what we think happened. The whole thing is in Russian, so some of the context in that intensely metaphorical chain sequence might have been lost on us. The promo does, however, contain the kind of weirdness that simply transcends the language barrier, so we hope you enjoy it as much as we did. In either case, we can’t wait to see Sapp’s response video.

So what’s the over-under on how long Sapp lasts in this one, anyway? Twenty, dare we say thirty seconds?

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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Daoulas- May 8, 2013 at 7:02 pm
so what is he going to do against a guy that isnt made out of sand
Fried Taco- May 8, 2013 at 7:27 am
Whoa, Roy Nelson lost a lot of weight and got some tattoos!
algiersheadkick504- May 8, 2013 at 5:26 am
I hope we see aleks be the cold ko artist he once was...he has the most fragile chin in front of him
Clyde- May 8, 2013 at 5:16 am
A few points to discuss.

1) I don't speak russian, but I'm pretty sure he refers to himself as Fedor's brother. If anyone can translate I'd like to know.

2) Bob Sapp will not throw a single strike in this fight as he doesn't want to get injured, and he damn sure doesn't want to risk cutting Aleks and getting Hep A-Z.

3) If they have the CGI skills to do that title sequence, could they at least have tried to make some CGI stone statues for Aleks to smash rather than just show his ability to demolish sand sculptures like the villain in a beach scene from a cliched 80s movie kicking over a child's sandcastle?
Mr_Misanthropy- May 8, 2013 at 2:49 am
Rasputin vs. who... ?
ArmFarmer- May 7, 2013 at 6:09 pm
My prediction: Alexander swings and misses, Sapp falls over anyway and assumes the fetal position briefly before tapping out. Alexander might get a punch in before it's over if he reacts quickly enough.
SethF- May 8, 2013 at 2:21 pm
DAMN YOU ARMFARMER! You're supposed to write "SPOILER ALERT" before giving away the results of fights that haven't happened yet!