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Video: Tito Ortiz Signs Contract to Fight Mark Coleman

(Props: dragonman34)

In the latest installment of Tito Ortiz‘s comeback-trail video blog, Tito helpfully reads us the main details of his UFC 106 bout agreement. It seems that nobody has informed him of the one-pound-allowance rule for non-title fights, and yes, his usual signs of dyslexia are present. ("It’s not going three rounds, no way," Tito says of his fight against Mark Coleman. "I’m taking your ass out in at least two.") Later, he tries to list all the fighters that he’s retired (see the 2:50 mark), and the camera conveniently cuts out after Ken Shamrock. Also, he refers to his fax machine as "the X machine," which made me LOL real hard.

Currently, Ortiz appears to be caught between respecting Mark Coleman as a legendary ex-champion, and disrespecting him because that’s what Tito does. But there is one specific memory of the Hammer that Ortiz is using as motivation: "If you guys pay close attention, when I beat Evan Tanner, and after I slammed Evan Tanner on his head and I jumped up on the Octagon, and I flexed to the audience, Mark Coleman jumped up on the side of the cage, and you can see the disgust on his face. So I think Mark Coleman’s had a little hatred for me for a while. So now he gets the chance. Too bad your chance ain’t gonna be good."

Chilling. Ortiz also predicts a head-kick knockout and vows to get back his title. ("The roads are comin’," whatever that means.) November 21st can’t come soon enough…

Cagepotato Comments

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Squirrelnuts- August 25, 2009 at 6:45 am
where's the zoom out button on that video player? Tito's fat head is in the way.
tqgucci- August 25, 2009 at 4:53 am
I swear the Tito & Jenna thing gets on my last nerve. He needs a reality check big time, who could like such a butthead!!!! Him & Jenna are the biggest media whores, not to mention hypocrites for all the crap they both talked about Dana and now Tito kisses him, who's the BITCH now Tito? Whatever, they both are a waste of space and need to get over themselves. I guess they both woke up one day thinking they were A-list people...Again...whatever...they get on my nerves. And when you comment about them in a way they don't like they call us HATERS!!! That is there defense cause they know they are both douchebags!
Virago- August 24, 2009 at 8:19 pm
No matter how hard Jenna tries, she just can't seem to fit Tito's entire head in the frame.
Ed M- August 24, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Tito- "This is done... as Mark Coleman's the done."
He doesn't stop!

Jay Smith- August 24, 2009 at 5:42 pm
It's just as fun to listen to Floyd Mayweather Sr talk. Although his is from being punch drunk. Tito cracks me up.
"Let me tell you how you're feeling right now"............Classic!
Gorgzilla- August 24, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Tito clearly said: "The roids are commin!". That suddenly make a meaningful sentence... ("The roads are coming'!" is just nonsensical and a bit weird.)
831 Son- August 24, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I can't wait to hear the post fight interview if Tito wins. Joe Rogan asks the simplest of questions and I almost guarantee Tito is going to fuck up royally.
portland mma- August 24, 2009 at 1:50 pm
He went to Cal State Bakersfield, which isn't the greatest school on Earth but you can't tell me he scored high enough on his SAT's to get in.
tramadoc- August 24, 2009 at 1:37 pm
@ Just A Wrestler........ that is true. Sadly I did not think of this. @ KTFO..... he may be able to read. We cannot tell if it is 1) written in crayon and 2) monosyllabic. @ EDoggFunkMonk......... I watched the video. I'm pretty sure I now have gonorrhea. August 24, 2009 at 1:37 pm
He went to GoldenWest community, a school known for holding a swap meet on the weekends not there academics.
peanutbuttter- August 24, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Tito won that fight via headbutt
Dr Garbo- August 24, 2009 at 1:17 pm
It would be sooooo greeaaat if The Hammer Knocks tito the fluck out...
portland mma- August 24, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Just long enough of a lay off to get all the banned substances out of his system after back surgery. The two things I dont get about Tito is how he is always talking about doing stuff for the fans? To this day I only know one person who likes Tito and thats because of when he flipped off the Lions Den way back. The second thing I don't get is how the fuck did Tito get into college?
EDoggFunkMonk- August 24, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Tito gave my computer a virus: Stupidity... and possibly crabs.
Swimming with Idiots- August 24, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I love that can't write shit that funny.

I hope he never gets a PR coach or an effective agent that tries to clean all the stupid off of him.

No filter + Slow processing Speed + Low IQ = Gold.

Never ever ban Tito.
agentsmith- August 24, 2009 at 12:55 pm
It must feel weird for Jenna to be behind the camera for a change.
agentsmith- August 24, 2009 at 12:54 pm
ktfo Says:
i love how he has his book just chillin on the desk, like he knows how to read.

Yeah, judging from how he struggled to even read the contract aloud, I'm guessing his reading comprehension isn't the greatest.
SamboIceCream- August 24, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Does Punishment Fighting League run faster on the latest version of Windows 98 or Windows ME?
Titos Head- August 24, 2009 at 12:46 pm
@Just A Wrestler this is true
Jugger- August 24, 2009 at 12:43 pm
"The roads are comin'..." LOL! Literally, LOL!
Just A Wrestler- August 24, 2009 at 12:25 pm
@tramadoc there is no mass inside of his head thats is why there clearly arent any objects in orbit
ktfo- August 24, 2009 at 12:20 pm
i love how he has his book just chillin on the desk, like he knows how to read.
Tapout64- August 24, 2009 at 12:18 pm
He's my baby tito bobblehead
tramadoc- August 24, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Is he even relevant anymore? I swear to Christ his head has gotten larger since the last video I saw of him. If anyone sees objects orbiting around it in the video, don't be alarmed. I heard that his cranium has a slight gravitational pull to it.
Just A Wrestler- August 24, 2009 at 12:06 pm
can we have a tito ban again? that was nice