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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Videos: Fedor Fights Non-Professional With Predictable Results, + More


(Props: Free Fight Videos)

Fedor Emelianenko won the Russian Combat Sambo Championships this weekend.  Again.  All his fights in this tournament combined took less than a minute, including the one-sided finale above.  I know the Russians get a big kick out of seeing Fedor dominate this stuff, but I don’t see how.  Sure, he lost recently in the World Championships, on points, but still.  It’s like watching Kobe Bryant play in a tournament at your local YMCA.  Yeah, it might be cool to see him dunk on some dentist who played point guard in high school twenty years ago, but that novelty wears off quickly, especially if Kobe keeps showing up every year. 

In other Fedor news, Josh Gross says the fight with Josh Barnett could go down in July.  Kevin Iole is doing some public speculating about the UFC trying to lure Fedor to compete at UFC 100, which would also be in July.  If you had to lay odds, a fight with Barnett in Affliction seems like the safer bet, assuming Affliction is still in the fight business by then.

After the jump, War Machine gives an uncomfortable interview to RawVegas.tv in which he lays out his plan to commit suicide at a date to be determined in the future and also describes thinking before he acts as “hard.”  Indeed.  

Watch War Machine Hosts UFC 95 After-Party at Hawaiian Tropic Zone on RawVegas.tv

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Kintama Chikara- February 25, 2009 at 5:02 am
Does the name G. G. Allin ring a bell with anyone? He promised to commit suicide on stage on a certain date (Halloween sometime). He didn't keep his promise, the date passed.... after a few months his dead body was found in a dumpster. Dead from a heroin overdose.
There's a lesson here for Whore Machine - keep your promises.
Cap'n- February 24, 2009 at 7:26 am
I did bottle service once for some guy in the park, and all I got was $3 and a pack of Kools. $500?
warmoger- February 24, 2009 at 3:02 am
Well, as usual russian sambo fighters which some has been competing over ten years and been training most of their lives are compared to college kids... You might think there is actually other reasons why he was so dominant this time? For instance, in the last sambo tournament fedor practically went from the movie studio straight to the fight. This time he actually trained sambo before and came in prepared, but of course anyone fedor dominates is a can from some hobo village in north of sibiria right?

Well what are you gonna do when cagepotato runs propaganda on you! :D
latent homosexual- February 23, 2009 at 8:31 pm
please TUF GUY....save us all the pain of reading your idiotic rants and go outside and eat a gun right this second...evolution at work...
assymcghee- February 23, 2009 at 7:59 pm
War machine needs an agent/spokesperson. He has potential as a fighter but shoots himself in the leg too much.
Scrambled Eggs- February 23, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Anybody know what the deal is with the grenade tattoo on War Machine's neck? I think I saw it on Junie Browning's hand, too? Is it symbolic of a certain gym, or something like that?
Babalu- February 23, 2009 at 6:42 pm
War Machine needs to come up with a more original name.
MoTropolis- February 23, 2009 at 6:27 pm
War Machine is the white man's O.J.
d0zer- February 23, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I bet War Machine will commit suicide while doing something fucking crazy like trying to beat up Obama or some shit.

In a related note, why does War Machine have to mention getting girls in every video? Closet gay perhaps?
Anonymous- February 23, 2009 at 5:01 pm
war machine is sitting beside me at an hotel in montreal..True story
Ashlee Vance- February 23, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Stop being such a whiny cunt will ya?

So Fedor is good at Sambo?
Its their thing. Im sure they see over here our sport
which involves 10 sumo wrestlers lined up over a pigskin and who bump bellies like the japs do for about 5 seconds and also go what the fuck.

What's he supposed to do? Quit practicing because he's good?
I'd like to see him expand past that and really enter the ADCC this year but he might as well also try his hand at russian judo again.
The 2nd best judoka in the world after the french giant is a russian dude.
Maybe he should venture into forays where he would have serious competition but how can you blame someone for dominating his sport? He did lose btw, so he is now a very, very good sambooka not an unbeatable one.

eat my buns- February 23, 2009 at 4:15 pm
fedor reminds of those toy boxers where they keep hitting each other til their head pops up, either that, or an offspring of 2 male power rangers
NewlyElectedKingCPPoster- February 23, 2009 at 3:17 pm
I AM ETERNAL!!! FOREVER THE KING OF CAGEPOTATO COMMENTS!

Where the fuck is my fucking trophy!?
TUF Guy- February 23, 2009 at 2:08 pm
War Machine makes more sense than all you guys combined. What did he say that was not correct?

Shit, if I am alive after I turn 60 I am definetly killing myself. Who the fuck wants to be a burden on their family.

"Ohh my dear grandson, let me tell you about the one time when I used to be feared in all of the lands, but first , change grandpas diaper, will you?"

Fuck that, I am gonna go out on my yacht, put a 357 in my mouth and just feed myself to the fishes. No funeral, just an old dude missing. My family can collect my life insurance, I won't have to suffer... it's perfect.

You guys are just idiots who probably believe in "GOD" ohhh noooo SUICIDE IS A SIN LOL idiots.
Fedor a million ankles- February 23, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Warmachine is fucking insane. I wouldn't feel comfortable in the same room as him.
Fedor a million ankles- February 23, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Hallo! In a my country me make play the sambos! It's nice!
Anonymous- February 23, 2009 at 1:22 pm
omg..warmachine is an idiot!!!
somebody should get him a therapist.

and oh i would love to see fedor at ufc100!!!!
but i am sure that it will not happen.
C-Bus Allstar- February 23, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Dude. Is there anyway to IP-Ban people from making comments on your site? If so, get rid of the douche that thought it'd be cool to make the word COOL in like 290 point font. That guy needs a butterknife shoved in his ear.
LukeTheDuke- February 23, 2009 at 12:34 pm
War Machine doesn't value human life.
mma-pro- February 23, 2009 at 12:33 pm
fuck a war machine. who really cares about this homo. last time i saw him fight he got but to sleep in like a minute.
BuckWild- February 23, 2009 at 12:29 pm
He got a job ! Serving drinks to men who look at him with lust in their eyes !
Machete for hands- February 23, 2009 at 12:23 pm
war machine is an idiot! he turns to suicide when times are rough!?!?! he needs to roll up his sleeves and be a man. get a job fucker!
Anonymous- February 23, 2009 at 12:13 pm
War Machine earned some points... It seems his ideas are pretty solid, he's just not that thoughtful (or smart) enough of a guy to properly communicate them. And I dont think thats a good reason to hate on anyone. People are too quick to judge everyone but themselves (which, ironically, is what people hated on War Machine for doing in the first place).
BuckWild- February 23, 2009 at 12:09 pm
So WM is the gay equivalent to a Hooters Girl !
C Nitty- February 23, 2009 at 12:03 pm
i'm gonna kill myself too
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