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Videos: That’s How You Stand and Bang, Machida Does Men’s Fitness + More

(Props: bigguvnor)

You have to hand it to British MMA fighters — what they lack in technique, they more than make up for in willingness to flail their arms around until someone gets knocked out. Like a pasty, heavyweight version of Sanchez vs. Guida, Ashley Pollard and Ian Hawkings gave the crowd what they paid for at Ultimate Challenge UK in August, slugging it out like two albino gorillas fighting over a female in estrus. Pollard eventually won when Hawkings’s natural instinct to run like hell got the better of him. Deal with it, Floyd Mayweather!

(Props: Men’s Fitness via Bloody Elbow)

UFC light-heavyweight champ/Lugz spokesperson Lyoto Machida will be featured on the cover of an upcoming issue of Men’s Fitness; here he is karate-kicking his way through the photoshoot. Check out the 1:01-1:05 mark to see the difference between Machida’s actual stomach and his magazine-stomach. Man, Gina Carano‘s airbrusher sure gets around…

Just for fun, here’s eliminated Ultimate Fighter castmember Wes Sims‘s fateful rematch against Frank Mir at UFC 46. For a good illustration of how much Wes has deteriorated in the last five years, skip to the 3:39-3:45 mark. As you’ll see, the A-Hole Show used to respond to arm-triangle chokes with hilarious hand-gestures. Now, he uses them as an opportunity to get some much-needed beauty rest.

Cagepotato Comments

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Mex- October 16, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Tito's baby mama is an expert at this stand and bang stuff.
MonkeyEarMuffs- October 16, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Seriously, people like that shouldn't even be able to fight in major circuits. It makes MMA look bad. That trash looked like a bar fight.
Sakuraba3900- October 16, 2009 at 12:32 pm
What a wonderful display of technical boxing. Obviously both of these fine athletes have been spending a fair share of their time being a diligent student of the sweet science.
Joedirt- October 16, 2009 at 11:34 am
The brit slugfest was great but...... not only could Mayweather deal with it... but he'd probably deal with both those fighters at once. Entertaining none the less.
831 Son- October 16, 2009 at 11:21 am
Wow Ben, who gives a shit about his stomach. You are comparing the finished magazine cover to him sitting down. Of course the standing up one is going to be more defined. IDIOT.
A. Silvas Heat-Seeking Missiles- October 16, 2009 at 10:22 am
The British slug-fest was great. Somebody should teach that guy to pivot his feet when he punches. No wonder it took 40 some-odd punches to finally "take him out."
Onan- October 16, 2009 at 9:59 am
And you guys know all this about Men's Fitness just from the passing glance you give it at the newstand, huh? Riiiiiiight...

In other news...Lyoto looks like an uncoordinated white belt doing some of those moves. If I didn't know better I would think he was a Jhoon Rhee drop out instead of an MMA world champion.

"Nobody bothers me!"
El Famous Burrito- October 16, 2009 at 9:39 am
Ninja Cosmo Comment!
El Famous Burrito- October 16, 2009 at 9:35 am
Men's Fitness is the male Cosmo.
agentsmith- October 16, 2009 at 9:32 am
@ Harry Russo:

It's the male equivalent of Cosmo magazine... same "sex tips" bullshit on the cover of every issue.
Squirrelnuts- October 16, 2009 at 9:22 am
@harry russo; fuck yeah. everytime i walk past it on the magazine rack it's the same shit on the cover.
Harry Russo- October 16, 2009 at 9:21 am
Who the fuck are the retards who buy Men's Fitness? It is the same issue every month. Lose Your Gut! Secrets to better Sex! You would think that after a while dudes would be like "Hey, I'm still a fat fuck, and I'm not getting laid. Maybe this magazine is full of shit?" But they won't. Also, spend your money at the airport wisely and buy a few pints at the bar instead.
busted_cranium- October 16, 2009 at 9:18 am
Breaking news: Lyoto Machida forced to drop out of title defense after pulling his groin performing nonsensical maneuver at ridiculous photo shoot.

In other news Frank Mir still shaking away the cobwebs.
Ouch That hurts- October 16, 2009 at 9:03 am
What, no karate kid crane pose? I am Jack's utter disappointment!
El Famous Burrito- October 16, 2009 at 9:01 am
That's cute, but where is the ranch dressing?
LastEmperor- October 16, 2009 at 8:41 am
Uh... who gives a fuck how defined his abs are?

agentsmith- October 16, 2009 at 8:33 am
Did they airbrush some space between his eyebrow(s)?
Aenarion- October 16, 2009 at 7:58 am
"I think best fitness tip drink pee."

-Lyoto Machida.

True story.