(Video via fighthub.)
A note to all future training partners of Uriah Hall: Should you find yourself in a light sparring session with the TUF 17 finalist and pound-for-pound baddest mofo in TUF History (allegedly), SHY AWAY FROM THE HEAD KICK, MIRKO.
If you choose to pull such an insolent move, however, you will likely find yourself doubled over on a sweat-stained mat moments later, your vision tunneled, your bowels released, praying for sweet, sweet Death’s tender embrace. “Dear Lord,” you will whisper as the fluorescent lights above begin to pool beneath your eyelids, “I am ready. I am ready to be shed of these mortal bonds. Deliver me towards the soil, almighty one.” But Death will never come, and you will instead be forever known by your other training partners as “Shitkick” or “Hallsbitch” or “Ground-n-Brown.”
Poor Nick Ring must be similarly releasing his bowels right about now. As Ving Rhames once said, “Now I realize there are some things worse than death, and one of them is sitting here waiting to die.”