Looks to me like we are back to the guys – enough already – what is going on??????

Scotty Epstein hands down. I too turned off the first video as soon as the guy said “Victor”.

Johnny’s demo felt like something I’d see on E! (professional). Scott’s demo felt like something I’d see on, well, Cagepotato (amateur). Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure Scott’s a really nice guy but Johnny, despite the mispronunciations knocked it out of the park.

Sean would be my second pick. If Scott wins I won’t be watching the weekly series. No offense Sean.

Wait. I see it now. Joey Diaz. Anyone who’s ever participated in a UFC drunkcast and is actually a comedian should be way miles ahead.

Chael Sonnen. He needs a job anyway.

Mauro Ranallo. Or Steven Seagal. Why Seagal? Because he likes talking about himself. And Ranallo is just as big a dipshit as all three of those guys.

@ mothercruncher, your fucken shitten me, ArchDuke Ferdinand has been assasinated?? This could plunge the nations of the globe into a pointless conflict that, reallistically will never be resolved. I somehow need to transport myself to Sarajevo, Dundas, can i borrow your time machine, the future of the free world v’s red hot Chilli peppers? C’mon Dundas gimme the fucken machine,

Gotta go with Scotty on this one. Def stopped watching when the other two jackasses mispronounced Vitor and Fabricio. Just get Wandy to do the show.

Decent first punt at it guys but um, what breaking news is next?
Archduke Franz Ferdinand has just been assassinated in Serbia?

I could only make it through 1:03 of Jonny. Please no.

You know who’s good at this sort of thing, and actually knows about MMA? Ben Fowlkes. Oh, sorry.

If it really has to be one of these three, I guess Scott. But shit, get BG or MRuss or Chad or one of CP’s regular commenters. They can’t be much less comfortable with the camera, and they won’t mispronounce Vitor or Fabricio.

Also, this is another vote that Heather Nichols deserves the job after what you put her through.

@RWR, GB, FAHQ, heres how I would describe the Rivera/Bisping situation on live TV. “Jorge hung a heap of shit on Bisping, fuckin funny shit too, Bisping chucked a wobbly, cracked the absolute shits and now he’s carryin on like a fuckin big Sheila with a rip in her frock, fuckin sook”

Now its back to the Studio

@ Boner, yeah BG is cuttin it pretty fine gettin us those tickets, I think he might have left us in the lurch here buddy, I booked the PPV for back up, you know just in case BG doesn’t come thru.

Go Johnny Go!

sooo is there gonna be a second episode? because im on the edge of my seat.
>p/p<
plus I also vote FBF. The accent just works

FBF Has my vote. Also, FBF, I have not received my airfare or press passes from Ben yet for saturday’s fights. What the fuck? Have you got yours? I think he is trying to stiff us on the Frank/Boner UFC Australia extravaganza.

@ FBF – you could call them all a bunch of shielas. Don’t you guys say something like that?

I could take pointers from my cobber Michael Schiavello. goodniiiight irene, and thats the big babooshka!

^ Cooee mates,wots happenin down the MMA billabong today,. There, I’m perfect for the job

+1 for fatbellyfrank, it would be cooler with his Aussie accent!

Fuck that. I couldn’t handle any of that nonsense. Like my brain feels like it just got sodomized by the power of stupid. How do I get into this poll? I wanna do some video work. Meanwhile I have to try and regenerate some brain cells from watching these videos.

^ Viva hate and Rex spring to mind immediately, fuck I’ll have a crack at it

‘fatbellyfrank Says:

Thu, 02/24/11 – 02:41

Hot Bimbo with bodacious TaTa’s who can read a cue card, or throw it open to the Nation, competition send in vids, nation will decide winner by vote’

this. everyone knows these guys are all terrible and that there are several cp regulars who would be amazing for something like this. id rather have a webcam from one of the regs laptops than any of these 3 tards.

none of them can even spell there idiots ill host the show call me

Hot Bimbo with bodacious TaTa’s who can read a cue card, or throw it open to the Nation, competition send in vids, nation will decide winner by vote

My vote goes to Einstein, unless you can bring back Heather Nichols sans a humping Rampage.

Those all sucked. Scott was best, but not by much. Can we get Billy Bob Thornton to do it and call it “mmm hmmm loves them taters”? If not then I like cecils’ idea of a video contest. I will be awaiting Viva’s submission.

“Potato Soup”

did i say ‘obvious’ enough for you guys?

holy shit, reading the comments it seems this might be real. ALL of these guys are obviously terrible. the choice is obvious-DAN QUINN.

before reading the comments im going to go out on a limb and say this is obviously fake.

WIN!!! Thanks Jimbo… you da man!

Thanks Jimbo… now let’s give this HTML shit a try…
 
HTML for the
 
muhfuckin WIN?
 

Where’d you find these guys, anyway? Did MRuss take out a classified ad for a casting call in his wood shed? Clothing optional.

Thanks for the support, jimbonics! I appreciate the HTML tip, though.

Why oh Why cant we have a cute little hot chick come out and read the news.We need some tits and ass we can all unite behind! Me first of course.

See cecil? if RvoitR can figure it out, so can you!

Can’t wait to see Viva’s video!
 
@ cecils – Megan Olivi FTW!!!

Have Mumbles do it. Think about it, he’ll mispronounce names just like these guys and doesn’t know shit about MMA, either. But at least we’ll get a good laugh out of him.

First douche:
Best presence out of the three. Called Vitor Victor and Fedor “Fader”. F*ck him.

Second guy:
Not as awkward as the third guy but called Fabricio Fabriko.

Scott Epstein:
Very awkward. Actually knows his shit. Wins by default because he’s the only mma fan. Needs to learn how to work the mic though.

Honestly they were all pretty bad. Jonny had the best camera presence though. And why do we need a video recapping all the news and videos we’ve already seen/discussed ON THIS SITE? Will there be fighter appearances? There needs to be something extra not just a shitty recap show with a shitty host. All in all, even for a rough draft, this was pretty poor. Next time!

I will appease the crowd, I am building up my own green screen now, and I will be submitting over a video this evening for laughs.

Cecil.
 
The recipe you’re looking for is thusly:
 
[p]ampersandnbspsemicolon[/p]
 
greater than less than instead of square brackets. the ampersand symbol followed by nbsp and a semicolon.
 
HTML FOR THE WIN, NICKLES!

Old enough to squat and pee, old enough for me.

gotta say, CagePotato, not very impressed with these performances … I say you get the chick Rampage assaulted to do the show – the least you could do after putting her in front of the camera with that sexual predator.

Stak >> i told you man, it’s not pedo if they’re past puberty.

Rex if you decided to a vid can you do it somewhere other than your sex/torture/pedo dungeon?

Hey Viva, sounds like you have to do a video now.

1st dude looked most comfortable on camera, even though he threw a punch when he described Silvas KICK. At least he showed some emotion. If a hot chic, (actually any chic) can’t do it, then my vote is with the first guy. Teach him some fucking pronunciation and we won’t verbally DP him.

^^^DAMMIT! Line Break FAIL!^^^

[goes back to drawing board]

OH SHIT! It’s ON now muffukas!

RSparrow’s got this shit, mang!

PLUS – I figured out how to do a line break

It’s ON for reals now…

that

I

can

do

line breaks bithchezzzzzzz.

Pass me the fucking mic, I got this shit.

Sounds like we need a Mashed Potato fan video contest – winner takes all.

The first guy is basically Mike Goldberg 6 years ago. Lot’s of energy, good speaking voice, but really doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about.
I’m gonna vote for Epstein even though he looked really nervous up there. I’m picking him because A) he actually knows what the fuck he’s talking about, and B) that interview he did on here a while back. He looked a lot more comfortable in that interview and I think that would be more indicative of how he would be as a host than this audition was.

Some suggestions:

1. Lead off the segment with the biggest story of the week but then run it TMZ style with all the gossip that didn’t make your main articles so it’s new content to people who enjoy the strange tabloid MMA stories.
2. Cut the jokes out and just have someone give a relaxed delivery of the story. cut the hand gestures, the over exaggerated faces, This is Cage potato we all come here because we are the average run of the mill dudes that enjoy MMA. The rest of that big motion is for the WWE fans and their website. We want to see one of us maybe the guy in your office with the worst attitude and sarcastic deliver. You know the guy that everyone thinks is a Dick. That guy was born for this job.
3. The fans of this site get to choose the T shirt the person has to wear each week. Give us a send submissions too address and a shirt size and we will mail in what we think he should wear. Post like the top 5 designs and let us vote. Why? Because “I eat cock sandwiches” is just fun to look at while watching MMA news.

in the words of the Frau, Dr. Evils sidekick……SCOTT!

I have a question:

Why can’t ben fucking do it? Or hell, even MRuss. Then we could rag on him every time he says ‘aboot’.

a hot chick would be better than a dude, but an ugly mma fan chick who can read would be better than these guys..

They were all really bad. Gun to my head, I’d pick the second guy, but if this were my casting call, I’d go back through the head shots.

Snooki jokes during hardcore MMA fan commentary? Get the fuck out of here.

I honestly thought this might be a weird Joke Like Fedor’s coach with the mind control stuff until I got to video three and realized you weren’t kidding. Since Scott is the only one that seemed like he wasn’t just someone you put up to doing this as a prank I would pick him.

it is obvious that none of them are *cage-potato-worthy* fans of mma.

if i were to have to decide without actually knowing how you picked these guys for this test shoot, i would say that one of these guys happens to be a childhood friend of a legit mma fighter and that is how he got the introduction(and probably via skype or something). one of the others is friends with one of the writers and he figured out how to find ufc.com so he could brush up a bit before the video, but he never comes to the cp. the other is just not very good. take your pick which is which, i would believe it either way.

the bottom line is that none of them are qualified for this post and the virtual punch-o-matic will be considered a much bigger hit in the history of the cp.

all three exactly the same and rubbish, sorry guys I would also be exactly the same and rubbish probably, don’t feel bad.

what about rex13?

what about someone who;
a. doesn’t follow someone elses formula

b. doesn’t take himself too seriously

c. that’s all, carry on.

i’ll go with Scott, he clearly knows his stuff, and could maybe become more comfortable with some experience.

I’m down with viva so long as we don’t have to suffer thru mma if invented by a southie. No celtics or sox references and the shots song is banned as are bagpipes and kennedys.

I vote for #4. Is that constructive enough for you?

Time for Plan B: naked news format.

Plan C: take a lesson from Mexico. One hot chick and a sock puppet.

I, too, like steampunks idea.

I’d do it ’cause I have a silky smooth voice and great delivery, I’m just fucking horrible to look at.

If I have any love for this site at all, I will watch these dudes make asses of themselves? That’s what your using your favor on? Ok here I go… You son of a bitch. Why would you waste my time like that!? Why? Because your decent and humorous writing has gone the way of the buffalo? Oh, I see. I never post on this site, because the other members are so dam good at it there is no need. Even though I don’t post, I have been here since the beginning of the site, give a month or so. Due to lack of good writing and ridiculous views of the writers, the lack of humor of the writers(except you Rex, you’re cool), and just overall lack of good material, this will regretfully be my last visit after years of pleasure from the site. I get more disappointed every time I come here and I am sick of it. Cage Potato = Ken Shamrock. So bye.

@stak40 good call.

These are the top three people who should do this bit:

1. Steven Seagall – come on this guy could read a bisquick recipee and still be entertaining (unintentionally).

2. Carol Dias – I don’t know if she even speaks english but she looks good and as Ed Soares shows you don’t really have to translate exactly what they say just whatever the hell you want.

3. Carrot Top – Why the fuck not at least his prop gags bring an element of surprise to the broadcast.

Possible Alternate:

Mr. Woo from the HBO series Deadwood, “cocksucka”

Seriously… you NEED Megan Olivi from heavy.dot.com. She’s worth every penny.

Thanks everyone, now I don;’t have to waste any time watching these vids.

Lets get a hot chick who can read cue cards and name it Sweet Taters.

First guy talks with his fucking hands, and mispronounces everything.

Second guy just looks uncomfortable. Made me uncomfortable.

Third guy… well, at least he knows fighting. Scotty’s cool, but do we really need another Eddie Bravo shill(Rogan)?

I really like Steampunk’s idea. There’s gotta be a blue screen and a camera somewhere in the greater Boston area.

Fiiiiinnnne.

Ill fucking do it. What the pay? Can I do it from houston or can we do it somewhere fun like budapest? Can I add a weekly special like ring girls ‘casting couch’ or will this be pure sausage no bun?

Did Joe Rogan coordinate the wardrope for these pilots?

Johnny seemed the most natural on camera. And for all the critics of these guys if you’ve never stood in front of a green screen staring at a camera it’s quite intimidating the first few times.

Trying to give these guys a little bit of leeway given it is their first time, because lord knows I didn’t perform up to my ability my first time, but it would have been a real shame if I just quit there. Still, these guys were awful!
Einstein was possibly the best, but still unwatchable. Isn’t Daniel Tosh available, or is he too gay for MMA?

I think Viva should do it. We can call it the Wicked Awesome MMAshed Potato.

Wow! I just stabbed myself in the balls with a rusty fork and it was actually less painful than those videos.

I will give #3 my vote since he at least did an okay job of not butchering names and he at least made reference to Lemmy and his coco puff face.

Wow, that’s 5 minutes of my life I’m never getting back…

I agree w/ Joe Hogan. If Jonny had pronounced Vitor’s name right, I wouldn’t have any problems w/ him.

The other two just didn’t keep me entertained. I think it’s easier to teach pronunciation than to get the other two guys comfortable in front of a camera while BG is in the director’s chair staring at them while licking his lips…

I agree with Stak40 and Hogan.

Its pretty damn hard to watch something if the guys can’t even pronounce the names. Regardless of when it was filmed, its pretty clear these guys aren’t the closest followers of the sport.

I vote re-do, new cast, but give Jonny a second chance.

I’m going to go with Scott Epstein. Little camera shy, but I think he could work on his delivery. His jokes came off the best I thought, and he seems to genuinely know the sport, unlike the other two.

Man fuck this shit. They were all garbage. I couldnt get past a minute of any of them. I with the group, find a sexy bitch who know enough, cue her up and move on. This project is guaranteed FAIL at this point.

Okay, to be honest. They all didn’t do too well.

1) Jonny pronounced fighter names wrong. That’s just not cool being an MMA show host. I thought Jonny made the best impression out of these 3 though. He sounded enthusiastic, and made it less obvious you were watching a test pilot.
2) Sean suffers from point 1 even more than Jonny. ‘Fabriko Wardem’ ‘Alisteer’. As some comments already mentioned, have these guys watched any PPV? Because only watching about 3 or so would already have you pronounce these names the way they should be. Another point Sean where dropped the ball, were the forced, unfunny jokes. Honestly, the entire rant about the Steven Seagal movies wasn’t funny, Rashad ‘Bridesmaid’ Evans.. I tried to make it funny for myself, but just couldn’t.
3) Scott at least pronounced the names right. And he seemed to know what he was talking about. Now if he could only come across less as a shy schoolgirl who is about to give her graduation speech, his performance would be much better.

I tried to be constructive but they were just of insufficient quality to be an MMA-show host.
If I absolutely have to choose, it would be Jonny. But I’d rather see some other guys have a shot at it, or a complete redo of these videos.

Look, Scottie’s a good guy, he’s smart, and he’s got tons of MMA cred, but he’s just not able to own the camera. Maybe if someone worked on his delivery, got him to speed up a bit? “Einstein” is the only candidate i can endorse at this point, but i’d say continue searching…or work *hard* with Scottie.

(Honestly, Victor Belfort? Fabreeko Wherdum? Absolutely not.)

Scott Epstein? Isn’t he an Eddie Bravo bb? I didn’t really like any of em but I guess Epstein because he’s knowledgeable of the sport.

Hey! I took that Werdum vid! I demand compensation!

1. Jonny
2. Sean
3. Scott
4. Rex13.333333333333333333

Just make sure they can pronounce names correctly.

I abstain.

Let’s just let this whole idea go the way of Fight Picker and Fedor’s legacy.

I refuse to believe MRuss didnt jump at the opportunity to whore himself out on this gig. Please, release the tape.

The last guy, I guess.

Do any of these guys even follow the sport? Not one of them pronounced all of the names right and all of the people talked about are mma top leaguers. The second guy was probably the best but seemed the least comfortable in front of the camera.

Chin with the “sign off” reference!

I’m with Taco, just get a hot chick with non-verbal assets and we’ll make due.

Who cares? No one watches it anyway.

They were almost as awkward on camera as Ben Fowlkes is.

They were all terrible. Jonny needs to quit pointing at the camera and doing psuedo-chokes. Sean can’t even pronounce the fighter names correctly, so obviously has no clue what MMA is. Scotty had the best pronunciation of the names, but his jokes were awful. Please just get a hot chick to read some lame cue cards, then we can turn the sound off and just look at her for the whole three minutes.

They are all bad… First one is just plain cringe worthy.

If forced, I’d got with Scott… if only for his grappling knowledge/credentials.

OK… they all suck.

oh man they a suck. From mis pro-ouncing the names Fedor, Fabricio, Vitor. To being boring to listen to.

If I had to pick 1 guy it would be the guy in the second video.

I wanted to vote for the Swedish body-building girl.

Stopped the first video immediately after Jonny call Vitor “Victor”