(It’s lonely at the top. It’s probably lonely wherever Jon Koppenhaver is, too. Photo courtesy of MMA Splatter.)
Major props to CagePotato reader Danielle T. for sending us War Machine‘s latest MySpace bulletin, in which the beleaguered fighter ends his fatwa on President Obama, apologizes for his "loose cannon" remarks, sheds a little more light on his arrest, and dares the haters to bet against him. Check it out below; all misspellings are his own.
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Date: Feb 11, 2009 6:15 PM
Subject: Important bulletin, PLEASE READ…Fans and HATERS.
As you all know I post some very controversial bulletins, a few of which have effected my career in a very negative way. At this I feel the need to clear a few things up. First, I need to admit that my comment regarding Obama was completely out of line. In all sincerity I do not wish any harm done to the President and I realize that it was a very stupid thing to write so I am publicly apologizing to the President and to his supporters.
In the beginning of my career it was brought to my attention (by some ignorant advisors, which I now realize) that my image as a professional fighter is more marketable if I am controversial. Controversy does grab attention. Part of creating that controversy is consistently saying things in a public format that I know will cause a reaction. Along with my loyal fans, I know that part of my popularity as a fighter is that people want to see me get my ass kicked. I knew that my Obama bulletin would gain me more fans* as well as make a lot more people hate me and that was exactly the reaction I was going for. Obama is one of the most loved people in the country right now.
Once I thought it through, it was too late. I removed the post an hour later. But the harm was done. So, at this point I’m being a man and I’m publicly admitting that I was wrong. What I wrote was stupid. So once again I want to reidderate the point that I really do not hope anything bad happens to him.
I also want to man up and apologize for my comments that I made regarding the Bellator Fighting Championship, ESPN and Disney. You can’t imagine the frustration of training day after day, week after week, year after year, to do one thing: FIGHT. I was really looking forward to showcasing my ability in that tournament. There’s no way for you to imagine the heart break I fealt when I found out that I wasn’t going to be able to compete. Looking back now, I realize that if I ran an up and coming professional organization like Bellator, I wouldn’t want my event associated with a "wild card" posting crazy shit about the President either. I understand why they did what they did. I admit that. I’m still pissed that I can’t compete in the tournament, but there is no one I can be pissed at other than MYSELF.
The last thing I want to address is my recent arrest Saturday night. There is a lot of B.S. information online and I want to clear things up. I was not out drinking, and I wasn’t hanging out in that club. I was employed there.** The incident occurred with a co-worker and a 300lbs. doorman at that. After discussing what really happened with my attorneys, I am confident that once all is said and done, it will be easy to prove that I did not commit any battery that night. I’d love to get into details, but I can’t right now.
A month ago I moved back to Las Vegas to take advantage of the training partners and resources at Xtreme Couture and I have been training harder and with more intensity and discipline than at any point in my life. I only have one real goal in my MMA career: to prove to myself and to the world that I am the best. I know that I can compete against the best in the world and I can beat them. All over the underground people are saying that my career is finished, that I’m self-destructing, and that I’m a "loose cannon." What I have to say to those people is this: WATCH ME. I am one of the hardest working fighters in MMA today.*** Though I admit I’ve made a couple of dumb decisions, I want the world to know that I will prove every critic wrong. I’ll fight wherever I can, and I’ll prove that I belong at the very top. I thank my supporters for sticking by me, and I dare my haters to bet against me.****
WM
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* Oh, yeah. Rush loves you now.
*** Well sure, you’re one of the busiest, what with all the MySpace blogging and getting arrested. But you’ll probably have to start competing in actual fights soon if you want to be considered one of the hardest working fighters in the sport.
**** We won’t bet against you, War. But only because the betting line on you fucking up again is at -650 right now, so we’d have to put up $130 just to win $20, and it’s just not worth it.
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Comments
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:25
first
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:28
Your still a Fuck up my son...
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:29
3rd bitch.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:32
Lets get that mofo fighting up in Calgary... some one up here has to want to book that bitch in a fight!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:34
Fedor would take out Obama in two seconds.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:37
Bah, what a punk. He needs to stand by his opinion, not try to play it off like it was all someones great idea to make him famous. You couldn't possibly be that stupid on purpose, it just comes naturally.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:41
So he was acting like a douche to become more marketable. What's your excuse son?
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:42
Oh my GAWD...I'm dying over that Spike Lee clip and the whole "pause" thing! I never heard that term before. That's even funnier that War Machine's pathetic blogs! By the way, that "underground" link didn't work. Try this one: http:// www. youtube.com/watch?v=kzRrC_GHBjc&feature=related
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:42
Who cares about this guy?
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:44
I am sure Obama appreciates the apology. Now Obama can finally get back to the other issues the world is facing..
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:51
guy has a lot of tools i think he's on the right path now well see. I never disliked him though. I knew from the beginning that he's just trying that "be controversial so you'd get noticed thing"
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:52
I love how Cagepotato constantly follows this guy and reports on him at least 4 times a week... then sarcastically derides him for popping off at the mouth just to create interest in himself... It's the circle of irony, I guess.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:55
Ben(s), How the hell do you find solid stuff like this, where do you find these videos? "Pause" - I've never heard of it but it's brilliant.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:58
What's an Obama?
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:02
He actually believes he has fans? Do they have names straight out of Marvel Comics too?
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:10
I'd like to reidderate my bet against him that the Secret Service is still gonna get all Homeland Security on his loose-cannon wild-card.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:12
Fuck a life!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:16
The only thing he's fighting is the urge to use spellcheck. And he's winning. Go Wore Masheen!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:17
Cage Potato readers, this is President Barack Obama. I accept War Machine's apology, and I have instructed top officials at the Secret Service not to pursue any criminal action against Mr. Machine. You see, Mr. Machine's actions are the result of 8 years of neglect by a President who thought it was more important to take care of his rich oil friends than mentally unstable MMA fighters. A President who thought a man should be ostracized for an upper decker, hate speech, and an unhealthy obsession with being an Alpha Male. But we are hungry for change and we are ready to believe in War Machine again. So to you Mr. Machine, I say one thing: "YES WE CAN!"
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:19
War only made a "couple of mistakes"??? His BIGGEST mistake was crawling out of his drunken mommies' womb and being BORN. The second was figuring out how to communicate with other people. After that, his life has gone downhill, into an abyss of nonsense and stupidity. I WOULD pay to see War fight Fedor, just to watch Fedor use him as an instructional practice dummy on crippling, joint snapping holds.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:20
I got the feeling that was actually heartfelt. I hope so and if this guy can turn around and ends up not being a total sack-mouth then good for him. I'm not gonna let my jaded view of humanity get in the way of hoping that this turn around is true. Plus everyone know you gota Fuck a Advisor.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:24
Fuck an Obama!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:24
Well that's a bummer. It could have at least been entertaining to hear him continue to be a douche while collecting unemployment. Now he'll just have to fade into oblivion as a dumb kid with problems.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:24
...So the "Remember War Machine" Tribute Tee does not go to either of the Bens this week...
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:39
"Olie" go get fucked!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:42
Please post something on War Machine right away so Olie can leave and never come back!!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:42
Listen all you mother fuckers can go get fucked especially an Obama!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:44
See CP, this is the sort of person you are attracting: Anonymous Says: Thu, 02/12/2009 - 08:39 "Olie" go get fucked! Not good, not good at all. :(
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:45
Olie - I enjoy reading articles by Cagepotato.com... It has tons of updates every day that I love to read through. If you want to read about only strictly factual MMA matches etc... there are other sites that do that. Cagepotato is for everyone who loves good writing and good stories. Thanks!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:48
fuck broken down piece of shit machine, fuck obama, fuck the government. broken machine is worthless. obama is a deceitful, manipulative, unintellectual puppet. the government is the system that imprisons us all. sheeple wake up
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:48
Wow!! This guy is a complete idiot...so he wants to make comments to be controversial, contreversy will get your name heard but won't get your bills paid....basically he is apologizing hoping someone will take him back, but my plea to the MMA world is leave him there and let him rot away....no one wants to watch this guy win fights and break out in tears afterwards, he is a train wreck!! He is broke and he should stay that way!!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:49
Dear CagePotato, Unless you seriously want to lose readers, I really think you guys should quit posting about the c**t that is 'War Machine'. I'm sick and tired of reading this fucktard's views and thoughts (which I might add, are written in terrible English). If another article pops up on here within the next week about this w**ker I will not bother visiting CagePotato again and look for a more informative MMA blog. Which is a real shame because this site is actually pretty good and I'd hate to see it ruined by something like this. All the best, Olie
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:50
Kadumel: I think you're missing the point. In the whole i like CagePotato stories and I enjoy reading the blog entries, but as other posters have mentioned, War Machine seems to be getting a hell of a lot of publicity for no reason other than posting his dumb views on MySpaz. I'm sick and tired of reading about War Machine. The TUF final was great, but since then he's done nothing! Just acted like a fucking idiot being arrested and posting his idiotic views.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:58
I still don't accept the apology. Aladdin has challenged WM
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:10
Olie, shut the fuck up you son of a bitch.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:20
Stop writing about this fucktard already...he just gets more and more publicity than he deserves, any media attention on his fucked up views gives him more and more reason to be a disgrace to society. Get rid of this guy already
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:25
Goog: that was funny. Olie: you have to admit that WM is entertaining. Even if his fights are not.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:26
Poor fucker, I actually feel sorry for him. Maybe he did get some wrong advice or maybe he didnt but his timing was off. War Machine, when one creates contraversy, it is usually done when you are at the top.....like Pito Ortiz. Obviously you are no where near the top....so you just fucked up your chances to be at the top(if you even had a chance at all which i dont think you did anyway). Oh and yes, I have bet against you in the past.....and I have won.....stupid fucker. Dont be stupid next time PENDEJO.... be carefule what you say...and yes you have to abide by social norms. Again, you are a PENDEJO!!!!!!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:28
Anyone who can say that War Machine vs J-Rock was not entertaining is lying to themselves...
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:29
@ Olie, stop being such a sensitive pussy. Stop making threats that you are not going to keep. You will be back to CP....no matter what you say. What a sissy boy you are!!!!!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:33
I have bever heard that pause thing before. I watched the video with Spike Lee and was still confused. So i went to my trusty site Urbandictionary.com. Now that i know....that reporter that did it to Spike is hilarious. Used to get someone to stop speaking, once something homosexual has been spoken. Said after something that may be taken as homosexual. So classic.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:34
Olie, Cagepotato is a mixture of MMA news with a comedic spin. Every news story you find here, you can find elsewhere, so if you don't realize that this story is not meant to be an important news story, the obvious answer is to go fuck yourself. Do I read every story posted here? No. If you don't want to read about WM most recent fuck up, then don't.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:40
FUCK AN APOLOGY
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:44
Koppenhaver..sounds a bit like his ancestry might be from Holland. So why would he be fighting for Bellator anyways?
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:45
i hate to say it, but it looks like mma is quickly catching up to the mlb and nfl with all of this douche-y behavior. thank god most of our douche bags aren't superstars.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:58
Olie sounds like Tito talking to the UFC... quit writing stories that I'm reading or I'll go to an inferior site to get bs stories-olie give in to my demands or I'll go fight in (read really screw up while commentating for) an inferior organization-tito
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:58
War Machine vs. J-Rock was almost as awesome as a threesome.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 10:44
lol at sheps
Thu, 02/12/09 - 10:49
Can someone point me to some good quality highlight videos of Fedor, and Anderson online? Thanks!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 10:53
Legitimate lol at the caption!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 11:11
Regardless of whether you agree about my 'bitching' [or insert some other Americanizzzed saying here] the fact of the matter remains that if CP keeps posting about non-events such as this pile of rubbish, it will lose readers, end of. I like the competitions and the live-blogging of events that don't get aired over here. 'Stories' like this just create wasted space and inevitably end up like how this one has. People more bothered about my reaction than War Machine's MySpaz posts. Point proven.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 12:12
posted this shii in the forums yesterday.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 12:13
wish i knew i had to send it somewhere.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 01:02
Olie go fuck off and leave War Machine alone.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 01:30
Olie is right, CP will lose readers if they keep this up. Even though War Machine posts have been drawing hundreds of comments, because, even though we pretend not to be, we are just as pathetic when it comes to watching War Machine's trainwreck as our girlfriends are with watching Britney Spears' trainwreck. And of course, less frequent posts will obviously generate more daIly viewers, right?
Thu, 02/12/09 - 01:40
It took WarMachine over a year to become this unpopular. Olie has done it in one thread. He's going right in a class with Junie Browning and TUF Guy.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 03:04
get this guy some Lithium STAT!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 07:58
hey war hang in there and prove al this haters wrong get in that cage and do your job and thats beat some ass fuck what people think about you . First off your the fucking man for stepping up and admitn you were wrong on thangs you said. hang in there bro true fan from tuf 6
Thu, 02/12/09 - 08:46
Anyone else find it hilarious they have a "gay thug dating" site on the bottom of urban dictionary? That sounds about right.
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:00
Fuck an Olie!
Thu, 02/12/09 - 09:41
Fuck a War Machine! That's right, I'm talking to you M-1 Abrams tanks, Guided Missile Destroyers, F/A-18 Hornets, etc. You guys are assholes.
Fri, 02/13/09 - 07:46
Jon Jon Jon, you should be apologizing to your fans........ oh wait... I mean there has to be half a dozen people out there who actually give half a shit. P.S. Thanks for setting a good image of a fighter, the press really eats that shit up. Kthxbai.
Fri, 02/13/09 - 01:25
Heres what it is to be a MAN: Suck it up John. Change your name back to a REAL fucking name JOHN. Act like you have sense in the high percentile of around 80% of the fucking time JOHN. Learn some fucking respect JOHN. Learn that being a fighter doesn't make you a tough guy JOHN. Learn that being a fighter is a business NOT a job at the gay-bar. And last but not least... grow the fuck up, get off MYspace, and go train, and zip your stupid fucking mouth JOHN. Maybe in about 3 years if you can accomplish this, you might fight, and you might make money, and you might get some fans.
Fri, 02/13/09 - 10:51
His name NEVER was JOHN you fucking inbred asshole he spelled it JON. Now go fuck yourself you piece of shit!
Sat, 02/14/09 - 06:13
Fuck an anonymous asshole :)
Wed, 02/18/09 - 07:56
It's a sign of the times that a gay fighter can recover from this situation. He needs to clean up his act but it's a good thing he's not being dragged through the mud just for being gay.
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