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War Machine Apologizes for Ridiculous Behavior; Clarifies That He Was Only Working at Straight-Friendly Club

(It’s lonely at the top. It’s probably lonely wherever Jon Koppenhaver is, too. Photo courtesy of MMA Splatter.)

Major props to CagePotato reader Danielle T. for sending us War Machine‘s latest MySpace bulletin, in which the beleaguered fighter ends his fatwa on President Obama, apologizes for his "loose cannon" remarks, sheds a little more light on his arrest, and dares the haters to bet against him. Check it out below; all misspellings are his own.


Date: Feb 11, 2009 6:15 PM
Subject: Important bulletin, PLEASE READ…Fans and HATERS.

As you all know I post some very controversial bulletins, a few of which have effected my career in a very negative way. At this I feel the need to clear a few things up. First, I need to admit that my comment regarding Obama was completely out of line. In all sincerity I do not wish any harm done to the President and I realize that it was a very stupid thing to write so I am publicly apologizing to the President and to his supporters.

In the beginning of my career it was brought to my attention (by some ignorant advisors, which I now realize) that my image as a professional fighter is more marketable if I am controversial. Controversy does grab attention. Part of creating that controversy is consistently saying things in a public format that I know will cause a reaction. Along with my loyal fans, I know that part of my popularity as a fighter is that people want to see me get my ass kicked. I knew that my Obama bulletin would gain me more fans* as well as make a lot more people hate me and that was exactly the reaction I was going for. Obama is one of the most loved people in the country right now.

Once I thought it through, it was too late. I removed the post an hour later. But the harm was done. So, at this point I’m being a man and I’m publicly admitting that I was wrong. What I wrote was stupid. So once again I want to reidderate the point that I really do not hope anything bad happens to him.

I also want to man up and apologize for my comments that I made regarding the Bellator Fighting Championship, ESPN and Disney. You can’t imagine the frustration of training day after day, week after week, year after year, to do one thing: FIGHT. I was really looking forward to showcasing my ability in that tournament. There’s no way for you to imagine the heart break I fealt when I found out that I wasn’t going to be able to compete. Looking back now, I realize that if I ran an up and coming professional organization like Bellator, I wouldn’t want my event associated with a "wild card" posting crazy shit about the President either. I understand why they did what they did. I admit that. I’m still pissed that I can’t compete in the tournament, but there is no one I can be pissed at other than MYSELF.

The last thing I want to address is my recent arrest Saturday night. There is a lot of B.S. information online and I want to clear things up. I was not out drinking, and I wasn’t hanging out in that club. I was employed there.** The incident occurred with a co-worker and a 300lbs. doorman at that. After discussing what really happened with my attorneys, I am confident that once all is said and done, it will be easy to prove that I did not commit any battery that night. I’d love to get into details, but I can’t right now.

A month ago I moved back to Las Vegas to take advantage of the training partners and resources at Xtreme Couture and I have been training harder and with more intensity and discipline than at any point in my life. I only have one real goal in my MMA career: to prove to myself and to the world that I am the best. I know that I can compete against the best in the world and I can beat them. All over the underground people are saying that my career is finished, that I’m self-destructing, and that I’m a "loose cannon." What I have to say to those people is this: WATCH ME. I am one of the hardest working fighters in MMA today.*** Though I admit I’ve made a couple of dumb decisions, I want the world to know that I will prove every critic wrong. I’ll fight wherever I can, and I’ll prove that I belong at the very top. I thank my supporters for sticking by me, and I dare my haters to bet against me.****


* Oh, yeah. Rush loves you now.

** Pause, homey.

*** Well sure, you’re one of the busiest, what with all the MySpace blogging and getting arrested. But you’ll probably have to start competing in actual fights soon if you want to be considered one of the hardest working fighters in the sport.

**** We won’t bet against you, War. But only because the betting line on you fucking up again is at -650 right now, so we’d have to put up $130 just to win $20, and it’s just not worth it.

Cagepotato Comments

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Slash- February 18, 2009 at 7:56 pm
It's a sign of the times that a gay fighter can recover from this situation. He needs to clean up his act but it's a good thing he's not being dragged through the mud just for being gay.
UFC fan- February 14, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Fuck an anonymous asshole :)
Anonymous- February 13, 2009 at 10:51 pm
His name NEVER was JOHN you fucking inbred asshole he spelled it JON.
Now go fuck yourself you piece of shit!
UFC fan- February 13, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Heres what it is to be a MAN:
Suck it up John.
Change your name back to a REAL fucking name JOHN.
Act like you have sense in the high percentile of around 80% of the fucking time JOHN.
Learn some fucking respect JOHN.
Learn that being a fighter doesn't make you a tough guy JOHN.
Learn that being a fighter is a business NOT a job at the gay-bar.
And last but not least... grow the fuck up, get off MYspace, and go train, and zip your stupid fucking mouth JOHN.
Maybe in about 3 years if you can accomplish this, you might fight, and you might make money, and you might get some fans.
Sammich- February 13, 2009 at 7:46 am
Jon Jon Jon, you should be apologizing to your fans........ oh wait...

I mean there has to be half a dozen people out there who actually give half a shit.

P.S. Thanks for setting a good image of a fighter, the press really eats that shit up. Kthxbai.
T Flow- February 12, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Fuck a War Machine! That's right, I'm talking to you M-1 Abrams tanks, Guided Missile Destroyers, F/A-18 Hornets, etc. You guys are assholes.
Mark Machine- February 12, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Fuck an Olie!
Krazy Kracker- February 12, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Anyone else find it hilarious they have a "gay thug dating" site on the bottom of urban dictionary? That sounds about right.
Anonymous- February 12, 2009 at 7:58 pm
hey war hang in there and prove al this haters wrong get in that cage and do your job and thats beat some ass fuck what people think about you . First off your the fucking man for stepping up and admitn you were wrong on thangs you said.
hang in there bro true fan from tuf 6
d0zer- February 12, 2009 at 3:04 pm
get this guy some Lithium STAT!
Goog- February 12, 2009 at 1:40 pm
It took WarMachine over a year to become this unpopular. Olie has done it in one thread.

He's going right in a class with Junie Browning and TUF Guy.
Lysol- February 12, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Olie is right, CP will lose readers if they keep this up. Even though War Machine posts have been drawing hundreds of comments, because, even though we pretend not to be, we are just as pathetic when it comes to watching War Machine's trainwreck as our girlfriends are with watching Britney Spears' trainwreck.

And of course, less frequent posts will obviously generate more daIly viewers, right?
Edith Labelle's Tits- February 12, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Olie go fuck off and leave War Machine alone.
BigJonDean- February 12, 2009 at 12:13 pm
wish i knew i had to send it somewhere.
BigJonDean- February 12, 2009 at 12:12 pm
posted this shii in the forums yesterday.
Olie- February 12, 2009 at 11:11 am
Regardless of whether you agree about my 'bitching' [or insert some other Americanizzzed saying here] the fact of the matter remains that if CP keeps posting about non-events such as this pile of rubbish, it will lose readers, end of.

I like the competitions and the live-blogging of events that don't get aired over here. 'Stories' like this just create wasted space and inevitably end up like how this one has. People more bothered about my reaction than War Machine's MySpaz posts.

Point proven.
Anonymous- February 12, 2009 at 10:53 am
Legitimate lol at the caption!
Lone Wolf- February 12, 2009 at 10:49 am
Can someone point me to some good quality highlight videos of Fedor, and Anderson online?

hotsaucemonster- February 12, 2009 at 10:44 am
lol at sheps
Edith Labelle's Tits- February 12, 2009 at 9:58 am
War Machine vs. J-Rock was almost as awesome as a threesome.
newotnek- February 12, 2009 at 9:58 am
Olie sounds like Tito talking to the UFC... quit writing stories that I'm reading or I'll go to an inferior site to get bs stories-olie
give in to my demands or I'll go fight in (read really screw up while commentating for) an inferior organization-tito
Quasicholo- February 12, 2009 at 9:45 am
i hate to say it, but it looks like mma is quickly catching up to the mlb and nfl with all of this douche-y behavior. thank god most of our douche bags aren't superstars.
LukeTheDuke- February 12, 2009 at 9:44 am
Koppenhaver..sounds a bit like his ancestry might be from Holland. So why would he be fighting for Bellator anyways?
Sheps- February 12, 2009 at 9:40 am
Nate- February 12, 2009 at 9:34 am
Olie, Cagepotato is a mixture of MMA news with a comedic spin. Every news story you find here, you can find elsewhere, so if you don't realize that this story is not meant to be an important news story, the obvious answer is to go fuck yourself. Do I read every story posted here? No. If you don't want to read about WM most recent fuck up, then don't.