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War Machine Argues “You Can’t Rape a Pornstar” + Other Developments From His Preliminary Hearing

Being that he’s currently on trial for some 34 charges including the attempted murder and sexual assault of his former girlfriend, Christy Mack, we could pretty much close the book on former UFC/Bellator fighter War Machine undergoing a series of personal changes that completely redeemed him in our eyes. That said, recent developments in the trial of one John J. (for Jerkface) Koppenhaver have managed to somehow lower our previously un-lowerable opinion of the man.

First let’s start with the case his lawyer, Brandon Sua, put forth in Kopenhaver’s preliminary hearing on Monday, which is the most batsh*t insane defense we’ve heard since Anderson Silva’s NSAC hearing. (via the Las Vegas Review):

Defense lawyers also argued that Mackinday’s work in pornography pointed to consent and that Koppenhaver and Mackinday often engaged in rough sex.

Mackinday’s career lead to her “desire, the preference, the acceptability towards a particular form of sex activities that were outside of the norm,” Sua said.

Koppenhaver met Mackinday while making an adult movie.

“The jury needs to know the nature of this relationship, and what was customary and consensual,” Sua said outside the courtroom.

So basically, because Mack was a pornstar, she was unable to be raped. Ho. Lee. Shit.

This argument was, of course, immediately challenged by Chief Deputy District Attorney Jacqueline Bluth, who made the obvious observation that a person’s (perceived) preferences in their professional life does not translate into their personal one. District Judge Elissa Cadish seemed to agree, stating, “I don’t see how any of those activities that she did in adult movies would ever show her consent to the acts with the defendant that he’s charged with. I’m not seeing that connection.”

As if that wasn’t icky enough, Koppenhaver then responded by blowing Bluth a kiss.

“Judge, for the record, Mr. Koppenhaver just blew a kiss at me,” she said.

Defense attorney Brandon Sua said he didn’t see it.

“I’m not going to make up that he blew a kiss at me, which I find offensive,” Bluth said.

District Judge Elissa Cadish turned to the defendant, who was seated in the jury box, while shackled and wearing an orange prison jumpsuit: “Mr. Koppenhaver, stop. You are not to make any gestures of any kind toward counsel. Don’t go there.”

Koppenhaver smiled. “Yes, ma’am.”

Let us not forget that last year, Koppenhaver was also caught laughing while Mack — who was still recovering from the myriad of broken bones and lacerations she received during the night in question — recited her testimony.

So yeah, we’re not saying that someone should start a Kickstarter to have War Machine shanked in his holding cell, but…

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