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War Machine Explains Himself

(“I call this sub ‘The Prison Rape.’”

War Machine is out of jail which is sad for us fans of his Big House Blogs, but on the bright side we’ll be reading a lot more interviews from the man formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver. snagged War’s first post-prison interview and let’s just say that it didn’t disappoint.

Here’s what Mr. Machine had to say:

About his time on TUF:

“That show if anything helped me out in my anxiety and getting my life together. I have had real bad anxiety since my dad passed away when I was 13. When I was out there, I had a lot of anxiety and three bad attacks; the day of my Tommy Speer fight was real bad for me so my head wasn’t completely right. It helped me to see what I need to do and prep mentally, emotionally and physically for a fight. It helped me just grow overall as a fighter.”

About being cut by the UFC for insinuating Evan Tanner killed himself and by Bellator for insulting Obama:

“The UFC was right in what they did and it was a business deal in the end. Dana White told me ‘War machine, I like you but what you said, it isn’t god for business to promote.’ I understand where he was coming from but everyone took what I said out of context.

I said that the way he (Evan) went into the desert with the limited supplies he had looked like he wanted to die. Dude was depressed and had a drinking problem, we all know that. He went from being a UFC champion and his last fight was a split loss against Kendall Grove. I trained with Kendall and was in the back after that fight and saw Evan just looking blank at the ground, you could tell he was depressed. I said what I said and stand behind that, it looked like he wanted to die when he went out there, but everyone blew it up into what it wasn’t.

As far as Obama, I was stupid saying something when I was angry. However, again it was twisted to say I wanna kill the president. I said that someone should smoke him and every president to come after until we get a president who cares about the people. I don’t like the government and how it is set up to look out for them, so it’s not like I was pointing him out alone. I know it was dumb to say but everything gets twisted if someone wants it to.”

About his 2007 assault charges:

“We were there at night after training was done, me and some friends drinking and just hanging out. We live in San Diego and it gets hot so we had our shirts off. Two dudes and two girls stumble drunk into our gym and we were like ‘who are these guys?’ We still were minding our own business and one of them walks by us and starts eyeing us, sizing us up and is like ‘oh look at the tough guys with their shirts off’ and is talking crap like he wants to do something. I spun him around, sunk in the choke and let him fall to the mat and we all laughed about it.

His friend and girls take him out across the street, he comes to and realizes what happens and starts yellin and gets into it with some of my boys and gets hit. Later in 2008, I got the police saying I was identified as the guy who knocked him out when I never hit him, I know I choked him but I didn’t hit him. He decided to drop that I hit him in court and that gave me the lesser sentence of just probation, I know it was dumb of me to choke him but it was dumb for him to come in somewhere drunk and start trouble.”

About his 2009 assault charges:

“I had began working there as a server and minded my own business. We had some bouncer there who did not like me from the start, some big ol dude – like 6’3″, 350. He used to run his mouth about how he was a fighter and could whoop up on anybody, I never blew his spot up about being a chump so whatever. He used to talk crap about me like ‘I could beat you, you aint no fighter, blah blah blah.’

One night he and I were arguing and he got real close to me, like almost nose to nose about how I was a punk and everything and he tried to flinch on me. I am 5’11″ and he is 6’3″, all I see is him moving forward and I reacted. Hit him got him mounted and that was that. Dude got in my face and I’m not a punk, you know? I’m gonna defend myself when the situation arises.”

About the 2010 assault charges that landed him in jail the past year:

“We were out, me and some friends having a good time, someone comes up and starts talking crazy to my boy and then next thing I know – they are going at it and his friend jumps in with him. So here I am, watching my boy get teamed up on and had literally seconds to decide. I’m not gonna let my friend get beat so I did what I had to and jumped into it.

The cops came and we all saw what happened, the media has a picture of me everywhere with a spit bag on and all you read is: UFC FIGHTER IN BAR FIGHT, SPITTING ON COPS; If I were to have spit on a cop, I would have been charged and I wasn’t. I never spit on anyone, let alone a cop. They put the bag on me because the place was packed and it was to help protect my identity, the cops knew who I was so they were trying to help me.

When I was being charged and sentenced for it that was a joke too. They said I was a lethal weapon and everything since I was in the UFC but my friend is a Navy SEAL with confirmed kills, the guy who started it was an Army Ranger with confirmed kills, so how am I the most dangerous one in the bunch?

I stand behind my actions on everything. I do not regret what happened in Pacific Beach with my friend. I wasn’t gonna let him get double teamed. What I learned from that was not to put myself in the situation. If I wanna drink and have a good time, I need to do it at home and not a bar, people get stupid in bars and it seems every time I go out, trouble finds me.

The stuff at my gym was dumb and I should not have choked him but whatever. Vegas – I’m not gonna let someone get in my face and talk like they wanna do something. I have always fought and stood up for myself.

About his short-lived porn career:

“(Laughing) Who wouldn’t want to right? Man, I was upset and just lost a bullcrap decision and was angry. I called my friend who was in LA, in the business and was like – I wanna do this and that was that. I did it because I wasn’t married, had met a lot of porn stars while fighting and it just happened. I’m done with that now, no more porn – I am married and happy.

About his Big House Blogs that “a lot of MMA sites posted as a way to drag [his] name through more mud”:

“I saw what they were saying and whatever to that. If people want to portray me in that sense, that is their deal. I am not the guy TMZ or these sites have made you think I am. Jail sucks, nothing was fun there and I could not wait to get out, be back into training, back with my girl and get on with my life.

About how he hopes the fans will see him now and the advice he has for them:

“To not look at what the media and others may tell you but to look at the person, me or whoever, you know? I am a good guy, I say what I feel and sometimes it gets me in trouble. I stand behind my actions and decisions, I know some are not the best but I can’t change the past; I can learn from it and do my best to not be in a situation where it could repeat itself. I am thankful for the second chance, thankful for my wife sticking by me and my friends and students for supporting who I am and not who I was made out to be.”

Check out the entire interview from HERE.

Cagepotato Comments

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BaghdadBob- July 23, 2011 at 7:54 pm
For a second, I caught just the slightest shadow of a glimmer of self-awareness on War Machine's part, but then it disappeared into thin air, never to be seen again.
xone01- July 23, 2011 at 4:10 pm
i havent read the long-ass article but I have to say... Best. Caption. Ever.
Koeikan- July 23, 2011 at 12:08 pm
Totally agree. Cagepotato used to be my favorite MMA site hands down. As a former web developer, I have to say it's pathetic.

It's been downhill since Fowlkes left (I tried to convince myself otherwise for a while) and the CMS "upgrade" is the cherry on top.
Wyatt- July 23, 2011 at 7:40 am
1. Funny how NOTHING is his fault ever. I know a lot of people like that, they're called assholes...

2. Cagepotato, fix the spam in the comments section!
Pen Fifteen- July 23, 2011 at 7:20 am
And I agree that while War Machine may be a retard, his accounting of those fights seems reasonable enough to me. One of my buddies has been in legal hot water for over two years for one-hitter-quittering some punk in a bar, when the dude got up in his face. It was clearly self-defense, but because it's a college town, the DA wants to try to make an example of my friend, and will only offer him a deal that forces him to plead guilty to the charges. Because my friend is a PhD student in civil engineering, and wants to work for the state, he can't have a violent crime on his ledger, so he's had to borrow tens of thousands of dollars to fight a bullshit charge to keep the entire rest of his life from being fucked.
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"We welcome your come?" Zhongxot, you are one dirty slut.

I believe War Machine's side of the stories. His explanations are reasonable. Some people just seem like they really want you to hit them, the political system is fucked (Kang or Kodos, take your pick!), and from what I've read about Evan's personality he probably had suicidal ideations for many years. I can sympathize with Tanner and Koppenhaver.
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Jubbie- July 22, 2011 at 4:22 pm
Your website needs to sort itself out. It's become a clusterfuck format. There was nothing wrong with the old blog-style. I come here for the content, and it's stupid that the web design experiments are getting in the way of that.
Richard Fitzentite- July 22, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Right, right...what Machine said is that we should murder this president and future presidents. Not kill our president, just make sure that he ceases to live. See you's that simple.

Now I'm gonna go eat a sandwich. Not like digest a meatball sub into my stomach, but rather insert bite size pieces into my mouth, chew the pieces, swallow them and then be nice and full afterwards.