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War Machine Found a Job

(Herb Dean applies some tricks he learned in his fraternity days on a choked-out War Machine.  Shhh, it’s okay, sweetie.  Photo courtesy of

Everyone’s favorite MMA laughing stock, War Machine (the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver), has signed on to fight for Bellator Fighting Championships, the organization that will run on ESPN Deportes in the spring.  I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in…

Welcome back.  If you’re like me, your first reaction is one of sorrow.  War Machine is back, and will be fighting on TV, instead of slipping away into quiet obscurity.  But if you think about it a little more you’ll realize that this is truly a gift.

Even in his relatively short time on the national MMA stage, who has given us more laughs than War Machine?  His life, his worldviews, the zany situations he gets himself into thanks to his inability to control the ridiculous ideas bouncing around in his brain – it’s endlessly entertaining.  And now he’s going to be sticking around in Español!  Thanks, Bellator.


Cagepotato Comments

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B-Powder- January 12, 2009 at 11:16 am
Herb, Can you please apply an even amount of powder to avoid chafing?
Lysol- January 11, 2009 at 7:45 pm

If you don't get a free Cage Potato shirt for that, I officially no longer believe in Santa Claus.
Lysol- January 11, 2009 at 7:42 pm
I like to imagine that War Machine cringed when Chad Johnson legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco and said "Dude, why would anyone do something that fucking stupid?" to people he presumed were paying attention.
rh- January 10, 2009 at 5:00 pm
I'm betting that Bellator can't attract anything better than C- or D level fighters, so there's actually a chance that against soft competition, he'll actually look...well...competant.

That's what I find sad.

...but not as sad as that first post.

Chowder- January 10, 2009 at 7:34 am
This picture looks like he shit himself and Herb is getting ready to wipe him. Usually, the shit comes out of war machine's mouth.
MMAMonkee- January 10, 2009 at 6:14 am
War ? Is that you?
Fuck these assholes.- January 9, 2009 at 9:38 pm
@ First Poster.

You think War Machine makes money? If you think hes making money you must be poor as fuck lol. Who isnt superior to war machine, its not that hard.
mayhem420- January 9, 2009 at 7:59 pm
¿Ah mi dios este tipo otra vez?
B-tard- January 9, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Good think I dont speak spanish anymore.
Blitz- January 9, 2009 at 5:37 pm
@ The first poster

5 bucks this overprotective douche is War Machine. Also, Herb Dean be layin Old Jonny down by the fire tonight...shhh war machine, we all know you lost your choclate covered cherry a longgggg time ago.
Alen- January 9, 2009 at 5:25 pm
He will have to change his name to guerra máquina
Robot- January 9, 2009 at 4:22 pm
o and if this doesnt work out for him im sure espn the "ocho" will pick him up after
Robot- January 9, 2009 at 4:21 pm
does this mean hes going to relegally change his name to máquina de guerra
Portzportsky- January 9, 2009 at 4:06 pm
And in the front row Wilmer Valderrama rethinks the value of such seats with this view......
Th3R3al3st- January 9, 2009 at 3:50 pm
A sad day for War Machine. Sources close to War Machine say the reason for the sudden collapse in the cage was due to several causes. One source says the reason for the collapse was due to vigorous training, long hours of working out and shadow boxing. Good thing Cage Potato was there with there own sources to discover that War Machines "Close Sources" was none other that Greg Kelly himself! We got our eye on you Mr. Kelly
Dr. Gonzo- January 9, 2009 at 3:48 pm
So he's hispanic now?
ME+URMOM=U- January 9, 2009 at 3:35 pm
lulz....I was really hoping he'd go away :( But at least I don't watch (or even know if I have this channel) so there is no way he'll be polluting my TV.
Anonymous- January 9, 2009 at 3:35 pm
War Machine would fuck whoever wrote this panzi ass article up without even breaking a sweat.

Funny how hes actually out doing him, making money and fighting while some pathetic guy is sitting in his mothers basement blogging about him like hes superior.