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War Machine Found a Job


(Herb Dean applies some tricks he learned in his fraternity days on a choked-out War Machine.  Shhh, it’s okay, sweetie.  Photo courtesy of SI.com)

Everyone’s favorite MMA laughing stock, War Machine (the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver), has signed on to fight for Bellator Fighting Championships, the organization that will run on ESPN Deportes in the spring.  I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in…

Welcome back.  If you’re like me, your first reaction is one of sorrow.  War Machine is back, and will be fighting on TV, instead of slipping away into quiet obscurity.  But if you think about it a little more you’ll realize that this is truly a gift.

Even in his relatively short time on the national MMA stage, who has given us more laughs than War Machine?  His life, his worldviews, the zany situations he gets himself into thanks to his inability to control the ridiculous ideas bouncing around in his brain – it’s endlessly entertaining.  And now he’s going to be sticking around in Español!  Thanks, Bellator.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 03:35


    War Machine would fuck whoever wrote this panzi ass article up without even breaking a sweat. Funny how hes actually out doing him, making money and fighting while some pathetic guy is sitting in his mothers basement blogging about him like hes superior.
  2. ME+URMOM=U Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 03:35


    lulz....I was really hoping he'd go away :( But at least I don't watch (or even know if I have this channel) so there is no way he'll be polluting my TV.
  3. Dr. Gonzo Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 03:48


    So he's hispanic now?
  4. Th3R3al3st Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 03:50


    A sad day for War Machine. Sources close to War Machine say the reason for the sudden collapse in the cage was due to several causes. One source says the reason for the collapse was due to vigorous training, long hours of working out and shadow boxing. Good thing Cage Potato was there with there own sources to discover that War Machines "Close Sources" was none other that Greg Kelly himself! We got our eye on you Mr. Kelly
  5. Portzportsky Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 04:06


    And in the front row Wilmer Valderrama rethinks the value of such seats with this view......
  6. Robot Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 04:21


    does this mean hes going to relegally change his name to máquina de guerra
  7. Robot Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 04:22


    o and if this doesnt work out for him im sure espn the "ocho" will pick him up after
  8. Alen Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 05:25


    He will have to change his name to guerra máquina
  9. Blitz Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 05:37


    @ The first poster 5 bucks this overprotective douche is War Machine. Also, Herb Dean be layin Old Jonny down by the fire tonight...shhh war machine, we all know you lost your choclate covered cherry a longgggg time ago.
  10. B-tard Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 05:54


    Good think I dont speak spanish anymore.
  11. mayhem420 Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 07:59


    ¿Ah mi dios este tipo otra vez?
  12. Fuck these assholes. Says:

    Fri, 01/09/09 - 09:38


    @ First Poster. You think War Machine makes money? If you think hes making money you must be poor as fuck lol. Who isnt superior to war machine, its not that hard.
  13. MMAMonkee Says:

    Sat, 01/10/09 - 06:14


    @Annonymous War ? Is that you?
  14. Chowder Says:

    Sat, 01/10/09 - 07:34


    This picture looks like he shit himself and Herb is getting ready to wipe him. Usually, the shit comes out of war machine's mouth.
  15. rh Says:

    Sat, 01/10/09 - 05:00


    I'm betting that Bellator can't attract anything better than C- or D level fighters, so there's actually a chance that against soft competition, he'll actually look...well...competant. That's what I find sad. ...but not as sad as that first post. rh
  16. Lysol Says:

    Sun, 01/11/09 - 07:42


    I like to imagine that War Machine cringed when Chad Johnson legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco and said "Dude, why would anyone do something that fucking stupid?" to people he presumed were paying attention.
  17. Lysol Says:

    Sun, 01/11/09 - 07:45


    @Portzportsky: If you don't get a free Cage Potato shirt for that, I officially no longer believe in Santa Claus.
  18. B-Powder Says:

    Mon, 01/12/09 - 11:16


    Herb, Can you please apply an even amount of powder to avoid chafing?
  19. War Machine Re-Signs With Bellator; May Compete in Season 6 Welterweight … « Delightful Massage Says:

    Fri, 12/09/11 - 03:51


    [...] with Bellator. Back in January 2009, War — then known by his given name Jon Koppenhaver — signed with the upstart Bellator promotion following his release from the UFC, which stemmed from comments he made about Evan Tanner‘s death [...]

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