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Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

‘War Machine’ Legally Changes Name to ‘War Machine’


(Your eyes do not deceive you — that is indeed an armpit-hair tattoo.)

I don’t know if I should call bullshit on this one, but it’s being reported as actual news, so here goes. The UFC fighter and TUF 6 castmember formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver has legally changed his name to “War Machine” — which was previously his nickname — due to a trademark dispute with TNA Wrestling. As Machine wrote recently on his friends-only MySpace blog:

Subject: Funny ass shit!

SO in case you didn’t notice in my last fight the UFC did NOT use my nickname when I fought. Turns out some gay ass wrestling federation threatened to sue them because they recently named one of their wrestlers The War Machine Rhino and trademarked the name.

Too fuckin’ bad that I have been using this name for 6 years, have it tatted on my body and it is what my fans yell out when I’m fighting.

If you know my personality then you know damn well I am not gonna let some faggot ass, FAKE wrestler steal MY name..
SO 6 weeks ago I filed a change of name request and today I had court to make my name officially WAR MACHINE.

lol
Fuckin’ funny right? Didn’t really wanna have to do it but I am sure as hell not lose MY nickname.

Time for a nap.

WM

You may remember War Machine’s MySpace blog as the venue in which he expressed his desire to move to the Philippines so he could kill and fornicate as much as he wanted to. Meaning, the name change shouldn’t be that much of a surprise. We just can’t wait until Bruce Buffer has to announce it. And does this mean they have to change his name in the video game, too? Oh War Machine, why must you be such a rebel?

(Props to Rob P. for the heads up, and riceavenger for the full MySpace message)

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Anonymous- April 12, 2009 at 8:14 pm
That is one seriously fugly guy. Shoulda changed his name to "turd nose."
Juner671- September 1, 2008 at 7:57 am
That Enemy Mine reference was right on point! SAMMISH!!! LOLOLOLOLOL

Pregnant-ass alien man....
War Machine is a Gay Machine- September 1, 2008 at 6:48 am
Who the f*ck is Jon Koppenhaver? Nobody. If he had actually won an actual match, I might actually know who he is. His next fight should be against Brock Lesnar since he wants to make fun of wrestlers. Screw weight class. One time only. Put his money where his mouth is. No, nevermind he is just a UFC jobber. He is bitter because a scrawny punk like him couldn't hack it in wrestling. So he will remain a jobber til Dana and co. get tired of him.
Todd- August 31, 2008 at 2:09 pm
What a fuckin' tool!! Too bad what's his name doesn't get tuned up. Fake ass wrestling?

Hey PUNK do you hear me!!
Ask any wrestler if it's fake and hopefully you get bitch slapped!
Predetermined yet, choreographed sure,
FAKE--not A FUCKING CHANCE---
GIRLY!
leigh- August 31, 2008 at 8:33 am
have to agree with Blaze, wrestlers do desserve the most respect as they are getting battered around 300+ days a year.
gene- August 31, 2008 at 6:07 am
KID GIVE ME A BREAK.........STOP COPYING NAMES ..YOU WUS.........I HAVE WORKED W/RHINO ,LET HIM SPEAR YOU THRU THE FENCE,THEN WE CAN HERE YOU
WINE SOME MORE............GP
?- August 31, 2008 at 3:05 am
Why all the hate? Can't we all just enjoy this for what it is. Comedic irony. People are getting wayy to serious here, I think its hilarious that he changed his name to War Machine.
DarkLynx13- August 31, 2008 at 2:24 am
I got to go with Arcade on this one.. you saw in the Iron Man movie Rhodes saw the silver suit... I there was a rumor that they do want to use the offshoots of the heros (Iron Man/War Machine, Captian America/US Agent). I admit I am a fan of wrestling and Rhino(or Rhyno when he moved to the WWE from ECW), but this just takes the cake.. I mean this, and Chad Johnson... Well if this is the case I want to change my name to Low Paid Lackey...
arcade- August 31, 2008 at 1:02 am
Well i got another log of thought to throw on the fire, to quote from the man formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver (Too fuckin’ bad that I have been using this name for 6 years, have it tatted on my body and it is what my fans yell out when I’m fighting.) kinda makes you wonder how many of his fans ever read marvel comics lol anyway here's the point


Universe
Marvel Universe

Real Name
James "Jim" Rupert Rhodes

Aliases
"Rhodey," War Machine, Iron Man

Identity
Secret

Occupation
Initiative instructor, adventurer, government agent; formerly: Sentinel Squad O*N*E combat instructor, soldier, pilot

Citizenship
U.S.A.

Place of Birth
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Known Relatives
David Rhodes (father), Roberta Rhodes (mother), Jeanette Rhodes (sister, deceased), Josh (uncle, last name unrevealed), unnamed alleged son

Group Affiliation
Initiative; formerly: Sentinel Squad O*N*E, Office of National Emergency (O*N*E), Crew, Secret Defenders, Worldwatch, Stark Enterprises, Force Works, West Coast Avengers, U.S. Marine Corps

Education
High school graduate, learned aviation engineering in the U.S. Marines

Height
6'1"

Weight
210 lbs.

Eyes
Brown

Hair
Brown (gray streaks)

Powers
None

Abilities
Rhodes is an exceptional pilot, and was trained by the Marines in aviation engineering and armed and unarmed combat.

Weapons
None

Paraphernalia
Although Rhodes is no longer active as War Machine, he possesses a prototype copy of the War Machine armor, and once donned one of its gauntlets to grant himself superhuman strength. His old suit of War Machine armor was equipped with jet boots, a laser sword, repulsor rays, energy cannons, a uni-beam, a rocket launcher, targeting computer and scanning devices, and could be modified in the field for additional weapons.

Rhodes briefly wore a suit of Eidolon Warwear armor, a living suit of armor which rested inside of his body, and could encase him at a moment's notice. The armor duplicated many of the abilities of the War Machine armor, including flight, energy blasts and sensors, but could also "grow" drones which could be used for combat and delivery operations and interface with computers. The armor would react to Rhodes' emotional state, transforming itself to provide him with whatever weapons he might desire.

First Appearance
Iron Man #118 (1979)

Origin
Iron Man #144 (1981)

Significant Issues
first appearance (Iron Man #118, 1979); first became Iron Man (Iron Man #169, 1983); battled the Mandarin (Iron Man 180-181, 1984); battled Tony Stark in clash of Iron Men (Iron Man #192, 1985); almost killed during Earth re-entry (Iron Man #216, 1987); became CEO of Stark Enterprises and became Iron Man again (Iron Man #284, 1992); quit Stark Enterprises, went off on own as War Machine (Iron Man #291, 1993); led Iron Legion against Ultimo (Iron Man #300, 1994); became head of Worldwatch (War Machine #5, 1994); battled Iron Man over [Rhodes'] use of War Machine armor (War Machine #8, Iron Man #310, 1994); went back in time to stop Nazi time-travel plot (War Machine #15-#17, 1995); lost War Machine armor in timestream (War Machine #17, 1995); became bonded to Eidolon Warwear (War Machine #18, 1995); lost Eidolon Warwear (Tales of the Marvel Universe #1, 1997)

Now seeing as marvel has war machine as a current hero in the line up makes you wonder just how long it will be before they decide to hit the lawsuit ring along with tna(who i'm not really sure that they have a legal leg to stand on ) anyway let the fun begin lol
John Kimble- August 31, 2008 at 12:49 am
Also, i'm secretly hoping his name change voids whatever contract he signed and dana white won't renew it.
John Kimble- August 31, 2008 at 12:45 am
If he loses one more fight will he legally get his name changed to "Unemployed"?
Kyle- August 30, 2008 at 11:37 pm
I've known Rhino for years but never knew he used this nick...I've known Jon Koppenhaver for less time and just barely remember his nick. Who gives a shit, it's two different sports.
Death Lock- August 30, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Erm, maybe this 'UFC fighter' needs to look up on wrestling history because Rhino from ECW fame held the nickname longer than this tattooed douche who only held it for 6 years. And in all due seriousness, the only fake ass shit I see here is some 'tough guy' wannabe who types worse than a 5 year old with bad use of the capslock button and using LOL. What the fuck. So much for being professional.
Anonymous- August 30, 2008 at 10:23 pm
Rhino Has been known as war machine for a while not recently
Blaze- August 30, 2008 at 9:00 pm
nnt: you're stupid. Wanna know how?

your words:
i find you guys sad… the ones that come on here and talk shit about fighters that work sooo hard every day to be the best. hate on him all you want, he will still do his thing.

now check this:
i find you guys sad… the ones that come on here and talk shit about wrestlers that work sooo hard every day to be the best. hate on him all you want, he will still do his thing.

And you're trying to tell me that just because he's a fighter he demands more respect?
They don't fight as many times as a WWE or TNA wrestlers perform in a year. Wrestler's bodies are more battered and contditioned to take punishment for 5-10
minutes a night, 300+ days days a year (they wrestle more than you see on TV).
James- August 30, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Homophobes FTL. Pathetic.
Tim- August 30, 2008 at 4:56 pm
In all fairness.. This guy said he's been using the name for about 6 years. Rhino has been wrestling under that name in several promotions for over 10 years. I don't really see the problem with both of them having the name, tho. I don't think anyone would confuse Rhino with that guy. I don't think most people know who either of them are, anyway..
The Real War Machine- August 30, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Rhino has been using that nickname for A LONG ass time now...
Don Tony- August 28, 2008 at 10:11 pm
LOL Tell War Machine to send Rhino a potted plant. War will love the look on Rhino's faggot face when he sees it.
kid- August 28, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Rhino would pound this dude out!!
UFC fan- August 28, 2008 at 11:20 am
yeah thats true NNT, he will still do his thing, like lose, whine, and act like a complete dumbass, now luckily for you ,his ONLY fan ,he will do it with a cool name that you can suck his nutz over. congrats your a lammo.

and his tat's, are ridiculously stupid just like him...what a surprise.

I hope he moves to the phillipnes and gets some sexual jungle rot, and his dick falls off then he can change his name to dickless machine.
Earl- August 28, 2008 at 3:35 am
^^^^LOL! Yea! Enemy Mine! Da-Witch-A!
RED- August 28, 2008 at 3:12 am
Is it just me or does Jon not look like the alien from the movie Alien Mine?
nnt- August 28, 2008 at 2:18 am
i find you guys sad... the ones that come on here and talk shit about fighters that work sooo hard every day to be the best. hate on him all you want, he will still do his thing.
Fedor goes nuts!- August 27, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Thats some crazy shizz Says:
August 28th, 2008 at 7:22 am

I can hear it now,

Bruce Buffer…

Fighting out of California, War “War Machine” Machine!!!!!!!!!!

+1 lol, exactly what I was thinking.
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