(Fuck a period of quiet reflection.)
Just a quick note to alert those of you who live in or around Duluth, Georgia that your local crazy quotient may see an alarming spike about a month from now. The fighter/pornographic thespian known as War Machine is going to be taking on Aaron “Tex” Johnson at Wild Bill’s Fight Night on April 17. Before we could even wonder how his training for this fight is progressing, Mr. Machine filled us in via his Twitter: “Hmm…maybe I should train a lil’ for the fight huh? I wonder if I could win if I don’t train…Hmmmm….what if I just dream of training?”
As you see, War is the same as he ever was, and his Twitter account confirms that his mental unraveling is still ongoing. For example, in the last 72 hours he’s posted about what a “bitch” Jamie Varner is, claimed to have gotten drunk and carved his fiancé’s initials into his arm (an update that ended with “Fcuk it so drunk!”), declared “Fuck the US!”,“Fuck Haiti!”, and, in a screed not directed at any particular person, dropped this little Twitter gem:
Let this be a lesson to all of us. Whatever message you’re planning on posting to the internet at 4:52 am, why not go ahead and wait a few hours to see if it still seems like such a good idea? Also, in your statement telling the world that you’re not a racist, it’s probably best to avoid using the n-word.
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Comments
Mon, 03/15/10 - 09:42
He meant to say "naggers." War Machine is not racist.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 09:42
Wow! Simply wow! Somehow War Machine explaining his statement was not racist was actually more racist than the original comment.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 09:42
I was waiting for it to come to this
Mon, 03/15/10 - 09:43
I wish that grenade on his neck would blow up already
Mon, 03/15/10 - 09:46
Fuck a irrelevant has-been.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 09:46
hey you missed the part where he tried to sell his organs over ebay. obviously it got taken down but he put up a bunch of his TUF memorabilia on there. kids these days. always up to somethin'
Mon, 03/15/10 - 09:47
Clown
Mon, 03/15/10 - 09:53
There's a family in my town with the last name Knigga. I want to make friends with someone from that family just so I can say "Knigga, please!". Actually if you google that name, there are a lot of Kniggas out there.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 09:55
For the first time I gotta agree with War Machine... Jamie Varner IS a bitch.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:16
He's selling all his TUF gear on eBay. Slick.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:17
don't forget hes selling his tuf memoribilia and a piece of his liver (the liver of a proffesional athlete) for 55 grand on e bay!
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:21
for the love of GOD, can't sombody just put this fool out of his misery? Its clear that he is just begging for some help in that department because he is obviously too much of a bitch to do it himself. If it was any other human being on the face of the planet, I might show some sympathy, but not this worthless shitbag. He is up there with Hitler in my book (Which I am positive dickmachine would take as a compliment) and he deserves all the misery this universe can dish out for his disrespectful, shameful, hurtful behaviors and antics. Maybe we can find a hole in the ground for this guy to piss away the rest of his miserable existence.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:23
opposites attack, that's just hurtful.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:23
I like how when you use Sherdog's "fight finder" to search for War Machine's record, you can't put "War Machine" in the "nickname" field or it finds nothing... you actually have to put "War" as the first name, and "Machine" as the last name. Next I expect that he'll drop the name altogether and just use a symbol, like Prince.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:27
Jabsent....I was trying to be. Not that it would affect this clown in anyway what-so-ever. Like I said, I am positive that compairing him to Hitler he would actually find complimentary.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:29
Sooner or later you will see this fuck on a television show called "American Jails" or "The Lockup - Raw". Either that or he is found dead in his apartment or hotel room.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:34
I guess i know who isn't going to be getting a call for "The Devil In Ms. Jenkins" or "Big Black Booties 37: Downtown Heat".
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:43
Ok CP, can you please give Whore Machine the Tito treatment for a while? Enough is enough.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:44
Cecil PeepHoles Says: Mon, 03/15/2010 - 11:42 He meant to say "naggers." War Machine is not racist. +1. He should have bought a vowel.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:57
@agentsmith Should War Machine actually change his name to a symbol, I would like to shake the hand of the artist. Its not every day you can find someone who can create an image that means both squandered potential AND hepatitis. :)
Mon, 03/15/10 - 10:58
You War Machine? Yeah Why? BANG...BANG...BANG And those BANGS aren't coming from Jim Lampley
Mon, 03/15/10 - 11:15
Um.. he's obviously got mental problems. You guys may as well be picking on the kids that rode the short bus to school. I guess your pretty cool guys.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 11:19
Wrye Bash....You obviously do not know enough about war machine. Had you known enough about him, there is no way in hell you would stick up for the guy. he deserves every bad thing that can happen to a human being ten fold. there is absolutely no excuse for his behavior, none. he is just a piece of garbage, plain and simple, a human being gone wrong, a mistake, a waste of precious oxygen.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 11:26
I was cool long before I ever picked on the short bus kids or Warmachine - who I think would a agree - Fuck a short bus kids.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 11:27
I cannot help myself from laughing at everything he says and does. That being said, he is the most sorry excuse of a person I've ever seen. I hope he doesn't ruin MMA in the eyes of the mass media.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 11:37
Too weird to live, too rare to die.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 11:46
please stop reporting on this piece of sh!t. in the world of MMA there are plenty of other fighters who truly deserve space on your page & you do a disservice to them & MMA by choosing to post crap like this.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 11:58
war machine vs. toney. we already know war machine eats dick daily so he should make weight in no time
Mon, 03/15/10 - 12:16
warmachine vs james toney, lets see it happen. catchweight of course. Also throw in Rogerio vs Couture, since I have no other outlet to tell people about how awesome it would be to see lil nog vs couture, you know since he already fought big nog, now he can fight lil nog at lwh. That would be cool.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 12:34
@Opposites Attack NO U
Mon, 03/15/10 - 12:37
@steampunk22 +1 :)
Mon, 03/15/10 - 12:50
War machiene blocked me on Twitter. After he posted that people need to get their facts straight, I asked how they were wrong, and he blocked me. Lol.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 12:56
Can we get a news ban on this guy? Hell, most of the stuff you report on this guy has little to nothing to do with MMA. As I Know Nothing put it a couple posts above: "in the world of MMA there are plenty of other fighters who truly deserve space on your page & you do a disservice to them & MMA by choosing to post crap like this." I second the motion.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 01:02
He also tried to sell his sperm on eBay
Mon, 03/15/10 - 01:28
the sad thing is, its only a matter of time before this kid blows his head off with a 9mm.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 01:28
There is only one remaining story about WM that deserves our time and thats when he hangs himself by his cum filled jerk sock and a whip he thought he would use in porn.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 02:13
I hope Junie Browning is taking notes, because War Machine really knows how to take advantage of his TUF stint to do crazy. Junie, please step it up since Mr. Machine has set the bar so high.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 02:31
@ I Know Nothing AND Plan B You see, War Machine is like a train wreck that you just cant stop watching. CP and may other websites will not stop reporting this stuff... it's just too entertaining. If you guys don't like stories about him - the solution is simple: skip over these gems when vising CP. See... now everyone is happy. You are welcome. Please drive through.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 02:35
@Wrye Bash yer silly.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 04:01
War Machine + Junie Browning + gay marriage + hatian adoption = Reality TV win
Mon, 03/15/10 - 04:50
Let me try this again and don't block me this time CP dammit!!!! He should fight Cyborg in his next fight being that he's used to beating on women and choking them. Just another day in the life of a reality tv nobody.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 04:58
I like to imagine that one day, when helicopters are circling out front of War Machine's gym, an emotionally run down War Machine is going to call his lawyer and confess to all his recent antics that we've been watching so nerviously. The next evening, while inside of an upscale bar, War will talk to his lawyer, who will be laughing at his cleverness, assuming that the voice mail was just a joke. Then, after War Machine frantically tries to inform him that he's being serious, the lawyer, tired of the onrunning joke, is just going to say "Look, John, this isn't funny anymore. I know that the answering machine message was a joke because there's no way that an asshole like War would only use the word nigger once in a public setting." In that moment, War Machine will realize that all the fucked up stuff that goes on in his head is not what's actually going on in reality, and that it's actually far, far worse. In other words, leave the poor kid alone, Opposites Attack, because he's obviously got mental problems.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 05:15
I will leave him alone when he does us a favor and leaves the world alone.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 05:22
Actually, Nogueira fans were giving him a hard time, is all. The I and O keys are right next to each other, ya know.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 06:52
Someone said this guy is a has-been. I tend to disagree. To be a has-been, you have to have BEEN somebody. js.
Mon, 03/15/10 - 08:39
@ OppositesAttack The poor kid's seen American Psycho one too many times. Mock him at will. @NomadRip Very good observation. Undoubtedly somewhat true.
Tue, 03/16/10 - 01:02
seriously though, i really did used to feel bad for him. I did. then he started saying terrible stuff about kids and old people, then gays, then dead people, then black people, then all people besides himself, and then he ran over my grandmother with a golf cart....so you see, he had his chance. he had many MANY chances...
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