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War Machine Scores Third-Straight Win at ‘UWC: Capital Punishment”


(Props: MMA Linker)

To everyone who thought War Machine would self-distruct and disappear after being kicked out of the UFC, fired from Bellator, and arrested following a fracas at a gay club — well, allow him to grab his crotch in your direction. On Saturday night, the always outspoken, rarely coherent TUF 6 vet won for the third time since his UFC exit, putting away opponent Reshad Woods via second-round rear-naked choke at an Ultimate Warrior Challenge event in Fairfax, Virginia.

Say what you want about this retard, but he does know how to put on an entertaining fight…


With Tito Ortiz shouting encouragement from cageside, the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver withstood some seriously heavy blows from Woods — including a couple of knees that seemed to rock him — until the opportunity to sink in the choke presented itself. And so, Machine’s life as a wandering ronin continues; Strikeforce has reportedly expressed interest in signing him, but he plans to rack up experience on the regional circuit for another year. He’ll next face Roger Bowling at MMA Big Show on June 20th in Belterra, Indiana.

Related: Headlining "UWC: Capital Punishment" was a bantamweight title scrap between champion Mike "The Hulk" Easton and challenger Josh "Taz" Ferguson. You can watch that fight here.

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angry little feet- April 28, 2009 at 10:24 am
Good for you War Machine. You're well on your way to becoming king turd of shit mountain.
Anonymous- April 28, 2009 at 10:16 am
@Dakyn - piss off, go write on your own site.
Dakyn- April 28, 2009 at 6:07 am
Just shocking journalism there; firstly you use a cliched term like "wandering ronin" and secondly you don't even realise how retarded it is - you're saying THE SAME THING TWICE.

A ronin is: "a lordless wandering samurai".

Proof-reading and thinking before publishing an article is always a good process.
the_millz- April 28, 2009 at 4:47 am
Nice post... 2pac was straight gangsta...
the_millz- April 28, 2009 at 4:47 am
Makavelli.... That was classic 2pac and half of the 14 year olds on here probably didnt understand it. Nice post
Chri534- April 28, 2009 at 12:49 am
Wow, the comments list is long on this one. I didn't read any of them, nor do I intend to...but my first thought on this was, "What if this guy actually earns his way back into the UFC?" Is Dana (I refuse to call him DW...because that name is reserved for that hot chick on Doug, so I'd much rather that people would call him a faggy name like Dana) actually going to let this guy back in? And if he does, is he going to act like he doesn't know who he is (like with Browning)? "Here is War Machine, who is "apparently" a former guest on the Ultimate Fighter under the name Jon Koppenhaver...

Didn't like him before, probably never will be a fan, but good for him.
Komodo- April 28, 2009 at 12:30 am
"Say what you want about this retard, but..."

Lawlz!
Anonymous- April 27, 2009 at 8:51 pm
WOW....I just read this on a hot forum on tall dating site ___Tallmingle.com___ which is a hot dating site for all tall friends and tall singles.
Anonymous- April 27, 2009 at 8:23 pm
That announcer is the dick weed from bloodyelbow.com. He swears he is joe rogan and greg jackson rolled into one but its more like kip dynamite and andy wang. Dick Weed your site sucks and so does your mom.
bongripsforjesus- April 27, 2009 at 7:56 pm
i might be just as retarded as WM but this dude is awesome... I feel with his anti liberal/gay/black/logic/tanner feelings the media put a target on him and made an example of him. WM is a stand up person who deserves RESPECT and a brain transplant.
UFC fan- April 27, 2009 at 5:44 pm
wow koppenfucker is winning in a league full of scrubs, congrats war machine you are the top dog in a group of nobodys, but watch your ass son, cause here comes FRY.

Fuck a war machine.
War MachineKaveli - April 27, 2009 at 5:17 pm
This is how hit em up would go if war machine was at the end.

Oh yeah, Dana White (uh)
You wanna fuck with me?
you little young ass muthafucka
Don't one of yo fighters got like hearing impairments or something?
you fuckin with me nigga
you fuck around and lose an eye or a leg
you better back the fuck up before you get smack the fuck up
this how we do it in san diego
any of you niggas from Strikeforce wanna bring it? Bring it.
But I ain't singin. I'm bringing drama
Fuck you and fuck a Obama
I'm gon' kill all you motherfuckas.
Now when I came out, I told you it was just about Evan Tanner
then everybody had to open their mouth with a motherfuckin opinion
Well this is how we gon' do this:
Fuck a Dana White,
Fuck a Evan Tanner,
Fuck a Affliction as a damn clothing label and as a motherfuckin org
and if you wanna fight for Affliction, then fuck you too.
Bellator? Fuck you too
All you motherfuckas, fuck you too.
ogb- April 27, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Anyone surprised that he is getting support from Tito?

No?

Didn't think so. Those two were made for each other.
Jay Smith- April 27, 2009 at 4:27 pm
That's a good win for War Machine, even if they gave him an easy opponent. I hope he gets back on the right track. Everyone deserves a second chance, and he seems like he's taking it seriously.
CAPS LOCK HAL is really TUF GUY- April 27, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Proof!
d0zer- April 27, 2009 at 2:40 pm
I don't know why everyone hates War Machine so much. I mean, yes, he is outspoken, borderline psychotic, and a complete idiot, but he is a good fighter with a lot of heart. I liked him on TUF and his fight against Jared Rollins was one of my favorite fights in the history of MMA.
TUF Guy- April 27, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Not doing much later Hal. Why don't you come over and we can pleasure each other in our own feces?
Monkey punch- April 27, 2009 at 2:27 pm
wow alot of cock love.
Ample- April 27, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Hahah the comments are more entertaining than the actual CP posts.
TUF guys butch lova man- April 27, 2009 at 2:00 pm
He'll be busy 69ing dix with me
CAPS LOCK HAL- April 27, 2009 at 1:31 pm
HEY TUF GUY , I HEARD YOU LIKE THE COCK... WHACHYA DOIN LATER?
MMA Beast- April 27, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Why does this moron even keep fighting? He got fired from the UFC in a fashion that will never allow him to get rehired. So realistically he is fighting for a lost cause. Also the guy he fought was a cupcake opponent. UWC is know for setting up there prefered fighters up against easy opponents. And you can also start the countdown on when this genius ends up assaulting some fan for saying something stupid to him. So now not only himself but his manager Ken Pavia have been black balled from the UFC. Good luck to all of those fighters under mma agents,LOL.
TUF Guy- April 27, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Oh and I forgot one!

- is named TUF Guy with big fat head, tiny dick, big truck, tapout -shirt, beer gut and a closet homo

-TUF Gay guy for life! I meant until I come out..... kisses!
Dojima- April 27, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Dana White says dumber, more hurtful things to the UFC than War Machine, yet the UFC fires WM for insensitive comments...

The irony is thicker than Rampages skull.
ur dad- April 27, 2009 at 1:01 pm
u take this shit to serious son.
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