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War Machine Sentenced to One Year in Jail, Three Years Probation; Avoids State Prison


(When you’re name’s War Machine, you’re likely never getting the benefit of the doubt)

Embattled former UFC welterweight War Machine avoided state prison Tuesday, but was sentenced by a judge to serve the remainder of a one-year sentence in county jail, whereupon he will be on probation for three years and will be prohibited from consuming alcohol during that period (so much for drinking toilet wine). The news comes courtesy of NBC San Diego.

Prior to his sentencing yesterday, the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver gave the judge a three-page letter pleading his case in which he stated that he has met some bad people in jail and doesn’t want to end up on the same life path as them.

"I’ve made some stupid mistakes in my life,” War Machine told the judge. "I’m not a bad person. I’ve tried the hard way my whole life. It’s not working. I’m done with that."


Although the judge opted to keep Machine out of the state prison system, he told the fighter that he could have just as easily made the other decision and he said he will if the 28-year-old screws up again.

He was informed by the judge that a parole violation could see him sent to California’s state penitentiary for up to four years.

“Judge Danielsen made it very clear … one error, one misstep, one violation, he’s headed to state prison," Deputy District Attorney Michael Runyon said after court.

The judge, who was so infuriated two weeks ago by War Machine’s disrespect towards the court that he tore up the plea bargain agreement, relented on his statements that he would not honor the deal propsed by the District Attorney and signed of on the document yesterday, but not before offering War Machine a warning.

"You understand we’re not fooling around," the judge told him. "I think we’ll find out who the real guy is." 

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Charming Charlie- August 26, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Among page-views, click-through, and external linking, comment feedback is one of the ways Ben can gauge if he's providing what his audience wants. Yes, it is appropriate to say "fuck this stupid article." It's equally appropriate to say "I'll suck CP's dick no matter what they post." It all helps Ben make more money, and hopefully provide you, the reader, more of what you want.

+1 to not ever posting about War Machine again until he's getting scheduled a fight. Gossip is not what I want to read about.
DAN THE VIKING- August 26, 2010 at 7:14 am
You know what Jeebus, I think Ill do that.
TIME TO ANSWER THE MOST EPIC QUESTION IN MMA HISTORY... Who would win, Paul Varelans or Jose Conseco? And the fight happens in 1996! And your allowed to juice. Wrap your puny CP brains around THAT!
Jesus Frijoles- August 25, 2010 at 9:09 pm
You know, I read CP sucks, the stories suck, ImagonnaholdmybreathandgotoBE comments all the time. If you all have an Idea for a topic, or a fighter, or a fight that you would like to discuss, you can go to the forum and start a thread of your own any time. I am a moderator on the forum and we will let you bitch all you want and not ban you for it. Stop waiting for your pet subject to come up and join the forum so you can spout your own special brand of shit. Crackpot opinions and crazed conspiracy theories welcome.
kinky friend- August 25, 2010 at 7:06 pm
HE HAS SUCH PRETTY LIPS!!!!!!!!!!
fatbellyfrank- August 25, 2010 at 4:42 pm
@ Plandb, your leaving us for BE....but...wha.....the words I'm looking for.....umm...oh yeah, FUCK OFF DIP SHIT
fatbellyfrank- August 25, 2010 at 4:40 pm
looks like WM might have seen some common sense and shown the Judge some respect, bit to late to keep him out of Jail, but it would appear he's starting to apply a thought process to this stuff.
fatbellyfrank- August 25, 2010 at 4:34 pm
@ gogoplata, fuck man, your in advertising/marketing right, where the fuck do you come up with these sort of radical ideas? my head is spinning, just dont read it, I might try that
dugmouth- August 25, 2010 at 4:16 pm
have fun over at intolerance land.
FightZen- August 25, 2010 at 3:34 pm
What's Blood Yell Bow? Some new karate move the kids are doing these days?
MediumRare- August 25, 2010 at 3:31 pm
War came in top 5 in my pound for pound most entertaining personalities in MMA.

I'll always click on a War article. Fights at gay bars, drunken twitter rages, spit bags, prison blogs. Fucking comedy gold.

Mofo- August 25, 2010 at 3:09 pm
It's a website! How would we fucking know if you left?? I mean, apart from the lack of pompous wining. And that shit is on tap at all times around here anyway.
Nealio- August 25, 2010 at 2:50 pm
At least I threatened to drink my own piss.
Leaving CP, that's HARDCORE! bwahahahahahhaa
DAN THE VIKING- August 25, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Dont like War Machine, dont read the article.
Dont click that fucking link titled '...War Machine...'
Dont log in.
Dont post a comment.

And threatening to leave CP? Leave. You act like we would give a shit. YOU dont write the articles, YOU dont come up with the humor, and thank god YOU dont decide the content. I dont know how many A.Silva injury updates I could read before committing painful suicide via reading 12 straight hours of BE 'top notch in depth' reporting.

Anyway, thanks CP for the update. Keep them coming.

*Threatening fake punch raised at Plan B*
Plan B? Your mom should have taken plan b. Your abortion.
crookshark- August 25, 2010 at 1:24 pm
war machine is a nutter, i understand why he's fun to read about. but what about the trials and tribulations of krazy horse?! how come he gets no love?
mt59801- August 25, 2010 at 12:52 pm
christ if you're gonna leave try MMA weekly or the MMA news
GILL-uh-TEEN- August 25, 2010 at 12:32 pm
@glassjawsh

They ban here too man...
CAP10- August 25, 2010 at 12:00 pm
I enjoy reading the War Machine saga, but I also like complaining about CP, so I am torn. I still say we need more junk-shot gifs, though.
flyingogoplata- August 25, 2010 at 11:55 am
BEST IDEA EVER...Brace yourself fellas...

If you don't want to read about War Machine (here it comes...wait for it...) don't click on the fuckin article.

Wow, where do I come up with this shit? Genius...pure genius
KarmaAteMyCat- August 25, 2010 at 11:49 am
I have to second 2DaDeath. It really does cheer up those lonely days when you think life sucks. Just load up the Potato and read about WarMachine.
2DaDeath- August 25, 2010 at 11:42 am
NM everyone bitchin about this article, CP. I enjoy these updates on WM. Makes my life seem so much better, lol!
glassjawsh- August 25, 2010 at 11:41 am
plan b fails to see the glorious irony in how many people have been banned from BE for complaining about BE (kidnate's vagina is too tender to absorb the impact) which is exactly what the fuck he was doing her (on cp complaining about cp)

this place is better because you can basically say whatever the fuck you want without worrying about some admin getting butthurt or self-righteous and kicking you off

FL>CP>WKR>BE

no wum sayin?
glassjawsh- August 25, 2010 at 11:33 am
i am sick of war machine like i got sick of hearing about steroids in baseball. stop giving up crap and telling us it's news. write about people who are actually fighting or soon to be fighting (or post pictures of half naked women with links to fully naked women) and quit telling me that these non-stories are interesting
nicey- August 25, 2010 at 11:33 am
why cant you frequent both sites? acting like a child and crying about something isnt going to accomplish anything. except for you "leaving cp for be". Personally i visit both sites. Got banned from BE but got the ban overturned. Admins are pretty harsh over there if you step out of line.
Jaye Priest- August 25, 2010 at 11:24 am
John Lashitzky????
El Guapo- August 25, 2010 at 11:20 am
^^I'm seriously considering switching to Bloody Elbow (SILENCE)

Seriously(MORE SILENCE)

I'm gonna do it(Redfiretruckfuck fap-fapping in the distance)
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