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War Machine’s Big House Blog Fans Rejoice; Jon Koppenhaver Is Headed Back to Jail for a Year

(Covering up that neck tattoo before going to court would have been a good idea.)

If you’ve been missing War Machine’s acclaimed Big House Blogs, you’re probably the only group that is going to be happy about this news.

According to the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver, he has been sentenced to another year in jail in Las Vegas for an old charge, forcing him to withdraw from Bellator’s season six welterweight tournament that gets underway in March. He indicated on Twitter that he will begin serving his sentence in two weeks and that, as per usual, he isn’t happy with the system.

“Seems my year in jail wasnt enough. Just got sentenced to another year in Vegas for some old bullshit. Nevermind Im rehabilitated. Nevermind Ive been out for over 6 months now and doing great and am finally back on my feet. Nevermind all my students that will miss me. Do another year and rot n waste time. Make no money, pay no taxes. Whatever, I just hope my boy @bensaundersMMA wins @BellatorMMA tournament. Fuck the motherfucking system! Fuck the bullshit! Vacation time, back to jail in 2 weeks! Cant stop me, all you can do is delay the inevitable. War Machine will always be back! Oh ya the judge looked and me and said she can tell Im on steroids and that thats prolly why I got in so many fights and am Bitch”


I actually feel bad for the guy. He genuinely seemed to be focusing on getting his life together and he had an impressive showing against former UFC poster boy Roger Huerta. Maybe changing his name back to Jon would be a step in the right direction since most judges might look at the name “War Machine” as being a red flag.

I’m guessing this won’t help sway his belief that Obama has fucked up America beyond repair.

Cagepotato Comments

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intercept440- February 4, 2012 at 9:44 am
what i want to know is what did i win for correctly picking the time frame he would wind up back in the pokey?
RwilsonR- February 3, 2012 at 11:51 am
And the judge does sound like a bitch. We're only hearing his side of it, but still...
I guess you don't get the benefit of the doubt from a judge when you're a repeat offender. May be unfair, bu also a good reason never to do that shit in the first place.
RwilsonR- February 3, 2012 at 11:47 am
@ sopapo - yeah, I get that, and agree it sucks. But different cities, different states, different offenses...
GistoftheFist- February 3, 2012 at 7:53 am
Actually Tappy it is sow, unless your totally not retarded self sews seeds into things. Try using the ' key sometime too.
beef_kurtains- February 3, 2012 at 6:57 am
Sucks to be your bro, but word of advice, the world isn't out to get you. This shit happens because of past transgressions. Do your time, keep your nose clean, stay humble and good things will happen.
TheWarsawExpress- February 3, 2012 at 6:20 am
I would like to know what he means for "some old bullshit." Does he mean "some old rape that I committed." Or is it something like "some old parking tickets I never paid." Big difference.
SnackDaddy- February 3, 2012 at 5:44 am
Dayyyyyummmmm. Sucks to be, War Machine.

That's why, kids, you need to be good at what you do. Even if it's being a criminal.
KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike- February 3, 2012 at 5:25 am
Aside from having some more hilarious jail blogs, that really sucks. It seems like he was just learning from his retarded mistakes of the past and seemed like jail actually did him some good the first time...instead, let's try as hard as we can to turn him into a real, hardened criminal and waste a bunch of tax payers money at the same time....and how bullshit is this cunt bitch judge throwing the book at him because she knows nothing about MMA and automatically labels this guy a roid head through ignorant, cunty, period-driven logic
Capital- February 3, 2012 at 1:05 am
Do shit and shit happends to you, criminell fack!
Kimbo Lesnar- February 2, 2012 at 11:13 pm
Oh thank God. I totally forgot how to pluck my ass-hole, 'prison-style'. Maybe he will re-post the instructions.
Sopapo- February 2, 2012 at 10:55 pm
what I find wrong is the fact that they free him in the first place. You know? the sentence should have been all together. Thats my point.
serendipity- February 2, 2012 at 8:51 pm
Hey War Machine, not trying to be a dick but I am pretty sure this is exactly what everyone was talking about when you told them you were going to change your legal name to War Machine. OMG the jurdge was such a jerk...dude, seriously, they read the file before walking in the room. You were going to jail again before they ever saw you. I feel bad for the guy but you can NOT be surprised that he was judged sternly. Oh what? Seriously? But I'm totally reformed now. His name might as well be Jon Criminal McWorthless-Fuck
RwilsonR- February 2, 2012 at 8:32 pm
I do wish WarMachine luck in getting through this. I always hope for people to become the better part of themselves. Except Chael Sonnen. I want him to keep digging deeper and see how low he can go.
RwilsonR- February 2, 2012 at 8:29 pm
@ Sopapo - the kind that holds you accountable for what you've done. EnemyofReality is right... you need to own up for the d-bag you were if you want to be the good person ewe are somewhere in their.
EnemyofReality- February 2, 2012 at 7:56 pm
WAR MACHINE....when you go from being a complete douchebag(all areas of douche covered)to being a guy who realizes he's a decent guy, you gotta handle your business from your past. I know.
jfjjfjff- February 2, 2012 at 7:40 pm
he's a fucking idiot, but that sucks. nobody is surprised.
JPAZ of ATX- February 2, 2012 at 7:34 pm
Ya, he's kinda a d-bag but damn I'd like to bang all those hookers that he was banging when he tried porn! Having some cock crazed hook on your jock....shit, that's like a sore peter, you just can't beat it!
Todd M- February 2, 2012 at 7:28 pm
^ Yeah man this is some bullshit, what is the incentive to stay out of trouble when you are getting sent back to jail regardless, this is how people become institutionalised.
fightfan- February 2, 2012 at 5:14 pm
I feel bad for the guy. Its not like he was being a f**k up while he was out. He was doing good & stayng outta trouble. What kind of screwed up attornyey does WM have? His last attorney should of put ALL possible charges together.....

This should of never happened. A guy spends a year in jail for a fist fight. Then they say, Oh by the way you got more charges we wanted to "save for a rainy day" and f**k you with after u already served your time .

If he didnt DO anything else, then WM really, really got f**ked over
Sopapo- February 2, 2012 at 5:11 pm
This fucking sucks. What kind of system lets u out of jail only to put u right back in after six months for "some old shit" . Shit ain't right. I feel so sorry for the dude.
Buzz Cahill- February 2, 2012 at 5:08 pm
I'm sure the rehabilitated Mr. Koppenhaver will be on his mature, best behavior over the next 2 weeks, and not go totally bugfuck on a self-destructive rampage. Odds: +1,150
AndyInflammatory- February 2, 2012 at 4:51 pm
everyone knows it's "Rape What Ewe Soe" der
XENOPHON- February 2, 2012 at 4:49 pm
Fried Taco - sounds like you lost your superpower. I lost mine. Now more periods for spacing. And still no spacing, and not editor. SO leave it to CP, to fuck up a wet dream and fix the minor problems, while failing to address the real problems. FAIL
NomadRip- February 2, 2012 at 4:47 pm
That is some bullshit. Hope he can maintain. That's a big kick in the slats for him.
Ballsagna- February 2, 2012 at 4:37 pm
^^^^ (that's how dumb you looked)