War Machine's Porn Career in Jeopardy After Allegedly Assaulting Girlfriend, Agent, and Several Terrified Partygoers
So did you guys do anything crazy this weekend? Like, maybe beat the shit out of half the guest-list at a porn star's birthday party? No? Well, you'll never believe this, but that's exactly what MMA tabloid hero War Machine did on Saturday night. Multiple reports are coming in, so we'll try to piece this together from what we have...
— On Saturday night, Machine heads out to a b-day party for adult film actress Brooke Haven, held at a porn studio in Van Nuys. He appears to be in good spirits, though he was reportedly pissed off that his agent, Derek Hay (aka "Ben English"), wasn't getting him enough work.
— Things quickly turn south when War allegedly punches his girlfriend, Alanah Rae, then drags her outside. This part of the story is hazy because although Terez Owens reports that Rae personally confirmed with him that War Machine decked her, she later went on Twitter to deny it. Still, there seems to be no difference in opinion over what happened next...
— When several of the male party guests confront War Machine about the alleged girlfriend-beating, he freaks out and starts throwing knuckles. Adultfyi.com passes along one eye-witness account:
— Derek Hay is recovering in the hospital. It appears that War Machine has already turned himself in, but he could face a long prison sentence for the assaults — especially when you consider that the dude has priors — and it's very likely that the 50-60 porn industry figures at the party will never want to work with him again. More to come...
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Comments
Flood Says:
Leave it to War Machine to bring Fisting porn to new heights.
SiDeBuRnZ Says:
^^^^ comment of the week (give the man a crappy shirt)
agentsmith Says:
"Another guy — an Asian — had his nose broken."
How is it relevant that the guy was asian? I mean, everyone knows that asians know kung fu, but come on, he's fighting the fuckin War Machine here... that's too much for anyone.
J-Dog Says:
LOL @ Flood's comment.
Hope he does some time and gets out of the spotlight for a while. Maybe he'll make a new boyfriend in the pokey.
JerseyFighter37 Says:
Junie Brown must be feeling pretty good about his life right now!
Antone Says:
"More to come..."
maybe not.
TylerDyrden Says:
Junie Brown is just waiting on the sidelines with his hand outstretched saying...
"WM tag me in, tag me in!!!"
jimbonics Says:
suicide is slow and bitter.
Defender Says:
Had WM pulled his shit together like he did fighting off the drunk dudes while fighting to receive money, not pay it out...he'd be going places.
There are really two basics to survival right? Fighting and fucking? WM has managed to fail at doing both professionally. Not really sure what is left for him at this point.
Dojima Says:
Day 6: War Machine suicide watch
dude is straight losing it... I am gonna get a bowl of popcorn and watch this slow-mo trainwreck
NomadRip Says:
The CagePotato shirts are pretty nice! Like the logo too.
Well he was attacked by 5 guys now, according to his twitter. Which I am holding cagepotato personally responsible for telling me about in the first place. I want to stop watching and get back to work, but it's like a slow-motion trainwreck and I can't look away.
kerouac Says:
ok Cagepotato - i think we can all agree that its time to officially ban coverage of this moron. every time i read about him it just reinforces my belief that sterilization might be a good idea.
Vegas Says:
A few things.
CP, regardless of what anyone else says, this is the shit that I wake up and read and it completely makes my day a brighter one.
Flood probably has comment of the month right there.
With that many pornstars around I probably would of found myself preoccupied and not interested in the least in smacking some bitches up. The power of the punani is strong with this one..
Harry Russo Says:
Dan Quinn knocking out five men in one night at Juanita's isn't impressive anymore.
agentsmith Says:
He would have pulled a Junie Browning and threatened chicks that he was going to rape their children, but then he realized it was a pornstar party and that ship has already sailed.
fatalplata Says:
cocaine is a hell of a drug
mustache ride Says:
They had to say he was asian because that's the way they tell people apart in the industry. Another account of the story i read went like this....
"Then WM broke this asians nose, then he backhanded a BBW Ebony chick straight in the mouth. Next thing you know he's beating down this Latino twink, then he proceeded to bukake Ben English in a dumpster until the cops were called."
BackbaconBilly Says:
C.P is turning into the National Enquirer of MMA reporting.
FuriousGeorge Says:
"Another guy — an Asian — had his nose broken."
An Asian guy hanging out with a bunch of porn stars was having a rough enough time that night, what with all the self-esteem issues he had to work through. Fuck you, War Machine, for making his night that much harder.
Cecil PeepHoles Says:
Goddamnit FLOOD that comment is mag-fucking-nificent.
You think War Machine will blog for CP from prison?
Kevin Marshall Says:
Bystander: "Oh God, we need help here! Is there a jiu-jitsu practitioner in the house?!"
Viva Hate Says:
"More to come..."
Shouldn't that say "More to cum...." wocka wocka
bpd Says:
War. (Huh! Good God y'all)
What is he good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again.
ytrebil Says:
Of course he whacked her. Numerous guys don't just chirp up about fuck all.
I’d love to see some CCTV footage of Jon the Jew going mental on those guys. I’ve been on the wrong end of trying to calm someone down before. Some people just can’t be helped.
Fight Fan Says:
Flood...Fisting...LOL
This story made my day.
Levi Jones Says:
Is there anything this guy can't fuck up? He's taken the easiest of the easy jobs and still found a way to get blacklisted.
dedflesh Says:
how does he not have his own show?
Payday Says:
This is a fuckin' smorgasbord of righteous comments...
MMArk Says:
What a loser. Seriously. Guy needs to kill himself and quit stealing oxygen from productive members of society. BTW, Flood's comment had me laughing for a few mins
DangadaDang Says:
If only he had DONKEY punched her than this whole issue could have been avoided
MMA42 Says:
I'm giving 5:1 odds that he comes back to MMA and gets a side job as a pimp. The backhand is strong with this one
mthomas Says:
I dunno, I kinda like Defender and BPD's comments. I read about this on BloodyElbow yesterday and thought, "Can't wait until CP picks up on this story"
Is this moron still on the run or what? Regardless, he's going to jail this time: he's already been arrested before twice for assault and battery. Just the life of a misunderstood "Alpha Male" I guess.
BTW, little Junie Browning had a big weekend too. He won his fight at some dumpy little regional show, then proceeded to tell the crowd to fuck off and inform the ladies in attendance that they should form 2 lines: one for "sucking" and one for "fucking".
These two are the Toxic Twins of MMA. Does anyone else wanna see these two locked up in a cell together?
agentsmith Says:
Thank god all those pornstars were around to educate War Machine on how to respect women.
After the fight, three guys took turns ass-fucking Sasha Grey, then they made her "air tight", then went ATM so deep she gagged and puked a bit, then the grand finale with a bukakke facial. All as a demonstration on how a gentleman treats a lady, you understand.
MostDiabolicalH... Says:
It certainly seems to be raining shit on Joe Cooper
Angry Whopper Says:
Great comments. I dunno where to begin, so I'll throw a bunch of things out there and let you sort through them.
- Maybe it's time to up WM's dose of lithium.
- Jealousy sparked the rampage? Dude goes all jealous on a room full of dudes his woman was flirting with, perhaps due to the fact that he was coming to grips with the fact that every guy in the room has already savagely penetrated every hole in her body with a big veiny cock. Except for the asian guy, of course. He was truly the innocent bystander there.
- War Machine has become the Paris Hilton of the MMA world. No talent, no skills, nothing to offer, so why the fuck does the media keep reporting his antics, and why do we punish ourselves by viewing these reports?!
- War Machine, like Paris Hilton, needs to be exiled from civilization, the media, and our minds so that his contamination reaches no further. His name is never to spoken again, on pain of death. Or, at the very least, a kick in the balls.
- Is War Machine distantly related to Tito Ortiz? The more I think about it, the more that relation makes sense since it explains SO MUCH.
Digest, peeps.
I Know Nothing Says:
Seriously, War Machine, man up & kill yourself already. I dare you. I don't think you have the guts to do it cause deep down you're a coward so please, prove me wrong & pull the trigger, kick the stool, swallow the pills, spread your arms & try to fly whatever.
And CP please STOP posting "news" about War Machine. Unless you're trying to slowly turn this site into TMZ or Perez Hilton.
PS
To anyone who is thinking I'm insensitive to War Machine & his "problems." I am. He's a POS & should be removed from the Gene Pool ASAP.
I Know Nothing Says:
PPS
Same goes for Junie "Pick a DSM IV Disorder" Browning
Viva Hate Says:
@I Know Nothing,
I agree, in fact the spirit of the season and quoting a great movie line.
War Machine, do it, kill yourself, I double dog dare ya.
Nut Puncher 9000 Says:
I do not understand why you continue to waste space on your website and time of your day to report on this guy. People like WM are what give ignorant people the idea that he represents MMA (Big meat-headed morons who fight as a first reaction to stress) and to be reporting on his failures is only promoting this view.
People like WM should be jailed and forgotten. As much as this kills me to admit, even Tito deserves more print space than this DB.
itsgalf Says:
"Another guy - an asian - had his nose broken"
This is actually the comment of the month.
Its on random. Says:
"I saw someone he looked...Asian.. and he was speaking another language...I'm pretty sure it was....Asian..."
831 Son Says:
Nut Puncher 9000- I pretty much agree with you, but come on, you would guaranteed watch the video if there was one.
Dr Garbo Says:
Its sooo crazy....Not the fight per-say. its more the fact that I prayed for the first time the other night...i asked god to either end world hunger, or War Machines porn career...the poem IS right, when there was one set of footprints HE WAS carrying me!!!!
virpz Says:
"If you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues
Cocaine
When your day is done and you wanna run
Cocaine
She dont lie
She dont lie
She dont lie
Cocaine
ubidoob Says:
War Machine def. John Koppenhaver via submission- other(asphixiation due to fellatio performed on self.)
Although he cannot have sexual intercourses with the men and women of the porn industry any longer- he has proven his supernatural ability to fuck himself quite well.
*IDEA*
War Machine becomes the porn industry entrepenuer of "one person lovin' for the lonely." Since he does not know how to interact with others he can show those who don't know how to interact with each other how to love themself the way no one else will love them. Like the masturbating god of self-hate.
How do you like them apples, Mr. Koppenhaver? Game, set, match.
AussieJosh Says:
It should have said..........
"more to cum.................."
Hahahaha get it!? Get it!?...............
well i guess its not that funny............?
Pff I would des... Says:
I know this term gets tossed around more than little kids saying "rape" on Xbox live, but this is exactly what what roid rage is. Roids + pent up anger + booze add in some feelings of being picked on = rage in it's truest immature little braind form.
Good luck seeing daylight after this one fella
wooawooa Says:
Plz give this man a shoe deal