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WAR MMA Planning Its First Event For This Summer Pending Temporary License Approval [IS THIS REAL LIFE?]


(Alright, Mr. Diaz, all we have left to do to grant you this license is take a quick gander over your known criminal histor-Aaaaaannnddd it’s gone!) 

Not unlike the assassination of JFK, the news that Nick Diaz would be starting his own MMA promotion, subtly titled WAR MMA, came out of nowhere and completely blew our brains out. While some of us lauded the thought of an MMA promotion that would finally eliminate all the bitch-ass rules and stipulations that have been holding the UFC back for years (marijuana testing, a mere 8 weight classes, “the bullshit,” etc.), the rest of us reacted in horror. Here is a guy who couldn’t even tell you the last time he paid his own taxes, and now we’re going to put him in charge of other people’s livelihoods (and lives themselves)? Talk about the blind leading the blind.

Thankfully, we as a species are drawn to tragedy like moths to light, hence why Diaz is currently awaiting approval on a temporary promoter’s license so he can get the wheels on this inevitable five-car pileup spinning. Sherdog reports:

California State Athletic Commission Executive Director Andy Foster that Diaz is currently applying for a temporary promoter’s license.

Once all mandatory paperwork has been submitted, Foster said, the onus will fall on Foster to grant Diaz the temporary license. According to Sherdog.com’s source, the Diaz camp is targeting a June 22 event date at the Stockton Arena and also has plans to stream the event live on the Internet. However, Diaz cannot apply for that date and location through the CSAC until his temporary license is granted. If the temp license is awarded and the first War MMA event runs smoothly, Diaz could then appear before the CSAC at the next official meeting and apply for a full promoter’s license.

First off, Stockton has its own arena? Or is that simply what Diaz has dubbed the collection of hastily stacked bicycle tires and chicken wire in his backyard? And as far as streaming the event live on the internet goes, we just hope that the Diaz camp realizes what they’re getting into. But who are we kidding? There’s NO WAY they realize what they’re getting into.

But of the information Sherdog passed along, we think the bit that requires extra emphasis is “If the temp license is awarded and the first War MMA event runs smoothly.” Forget the fact that this promotion is being run on the whim of a guy who has been involved in not one but two in-ring brawls (and one that took place in a hospital). Forget the fact that Diaz — a guy who has complained about being shortchanged his entire career — suddenly has the money to start an MMA promotion. Forget all of that if you can and simply adjust your eyes to the following tweet.

God help us, the brothers Diaz are reaching out to notorious bottom-feeder Jose Canseco to presumably headline their first event in a freak show of the decade match against Shaquille O’Neal. The retired basketball player and current TruTV webclip show host. No word yet on whether Bob Sapp will be making an appearance at this event as well.

While on one hand, booking this fight would draw a ridiculous amount of media attention to the event (which honestly, does Diaz even want that?), it would also all but seal the door on WAR MMA ever being taken seriously as a promotion. The fact is, plenty of fans are going to tune in to see Nick Diaz fight, plain and simple. Even more of us are going to tune in for the chance to see a fighter get shivved on his way to the ring. Why discredit yourselves from the get-go by involving Canseco, whose lone entry into the world of mixed martial arts was a work against Hong Man Choi? Don’t get us wrong, we’d love to see “Wilt Chamberneezy” put a hurting on Canseco, but if you honestly believe that this fight will end in anything other than disappointment, brother, you are a lost cause.

Surely a YAMMA-level disaster is on the horizon.

-J. Jones

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dannyzee4- June 25, 2013 at 10:48 am
@Misanthropy

You're clever.

Anyway just returning to say that after War MMA had a successful first event my point is proven - you passed a judgement too early, and ended up being wrong.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 17, 2013 at 12:05 am
@ Dummyzfore

You are a halfwit inbred disgrace to humanity. Your incoherent diatribe made as much sense as an AIDS infested monkey selling its rotten puss dripping member by the slice as bush jerky at a road side stall on the Lagos-Mombasa highway. Please promptly and efficiently dispatch yourself in an economically viable fashion so your damaged chromosomes do not find some unlikely means of polluting the gene pool.
dannyzee4- May 16, 2013 at 8:50 am
Trash article as far as the writer'd opinion goes, good in terms of information though. While Nick does suck at official UFC events as a fighter he knows how to treat fighters and most likely the rules will be an improvement on the ufc since he does seem to prefer pride-style rules, although whether those rules are legal in CA I'm not sure. He's probably not going to do much of the public side himself anyway. If people like Nick Diaz listened to people like this writer the mma world would be missing a lot of top fighters who at some point were told they wouldn't stand a chance (eg-Frank Shamrock). It might not be a success but we can't be certain either way.
Gobbleston- May 16, 2013 at 8:41 am
My question is, what is Megadeth up to these days?
cman- May 15, 2013 at 7:03 pm
But the truly pressing question was what color crayon he filled out the application with.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 15, 2013 at 2:15 pm
A spectacle is a spectacle... like PT Barnum said there's a sucker born every minute.

Hold this travesty in a Yamma pit with motorcycles doing back flips over the cage and I am in! How about three man fights? Wheelchairs? Can we get kangaroo boxing and bear wrestling?
crappiefloper- May 15, 2013 at 1:16 pm
Any article that works in not only a presidential assignation but also a prison stabbing reference, well that's just good journalism my friends.
El Guapo- May 15, 2013 at 1:00 pm
C'mon guys, if we financed Karma's trip to Thailand to trane UFC we can afford to stream this bad bay. WAR MMA!!
WAR "WAR MMA", I mean. Since that's what it's cal... Nevermind.
godspeed- May 15, 2013 at 12:31 pm
Fallon fox vs chris brown.
Fried Taco- May 15, 2013 at 12:53 pm
Chris Brown turned the fight down, saying he only hits women.
The12ozCurls- May 15, 2013 at 10:47 am
@Fried Taco

"whiny bitches" - those are fighting words mother fucker! Wanna see if YOU versus ME can get booked on the card. 1 round - nun chucks only - no protective cups. You down homie?
Fried Taco- May 15, 2013 at 11:25 am
I'm down as long as I can wear my gi pants.
Fried Taco- May 15, 2013 at 10:22 am
Y'all are a bunch of whiny bitches! While everyone said they would love to see Shaq beat down Canseco's ass, Nick and Nate are the only ones to DO something to make it actually happen! 209 is where it's at!!!
Goog- May 15, 2013 at 9:59 am
Ever notice no one fights for tv time claiming to be his mother?
The12ozCurls- May 15, 2013 at 9:58 am
Sooooooo . . . . . Did WAR MMA read our rules that the CP comment section suggested?

And who "won" the CP shirt for best submission?
Imnotamoose- May 15, 2013 at 9:46 am
Wolf-tickets Are Real...
Knacker- May 15, 2013 at 9:46 am
I’m sure if Mr Diaz could read you’d be gettin’ your ass handed to you Mr J. Jones :D
Alan K- May 15, 2013 at 9:29 am
If this promotion is gonna be nothing more than dangerous and reckless freak show fights, then I am in. THIS TRAINWRECK IS ROLLIN'!!!!!!!!!!
cman- May 15, 2013 at 9:15 am
Right now ceasar Gracie is scouring the books looking to find the 2 nickels and pocket lint he missed that makes nick think he can do this.
Shaq is going to be WAY out of their price range. But if they got that fight, the UFC will be pulling no punches on how fast they crush them. Anyone wanna bet this is in part why Nate left? Him being the not completely debilitated retarded Diaz and all.
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