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War Machine Big House Blog Number 8: Manscaping, Hep C and Denial Sinking In

(War enjoying the only action he’ll get for the next nine months.)

I’m not sure how War Machine did it, but he posted a blog last week that slipped through the cracks and didn’t get picked up by anyone in the MMA blogosphere.

The latest entry details the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver‘s obsessive masturbation, how it felt to shave his junk for the first time in three months and the trials of being in the clink like the risk of Hepatitis C and keeping his nose clean.

One of the more interesting bits touches on how Machine has captured the hearts of the guards who feel that he got a raw deal in his case and now he is actually beginning to think that he didn’t do anything wrong, which I hear is a recurring theme amongst felons.

Check out what extra fruity adventures WM got into last week after the jump.

3 months done! Doesn’t seem like I’ve been here that long. I hope the next months fly by in the same way! I finally got fed up with growing all this damn body hair and took advantage of the privacy of temporarily not having a celly, and I shaved. Man I feel better! I don’t know how other guys can stand that shit. They think it’s gross if a girl has a "bush" and yet they have pubes longer than their own dongs! LOL!

Anyway, still the same ole boring shit here… I think I’ve broken the world record for the amount of times someone has "spanked it" in one day many times over! LOL! I finally got on a steady workout regime. I was getting skinny & fat at the same time… UGH!

What else… man these guys here have all kinds of lil’ tricks! They’ve even developed ways so their friends can send them stuff in the mail. The jail checks all the mail we get too, but it still gets by! I don’t understand why anyone would want to be high on meth or heroine or whatever and be up for days on end in here with NOTHING to do, but plenty of them do it. It’d be easy to come to jail clean and leave a junkie. Glad I’m not one to fuck around with shit like that. It’s a huge business thogh. I hear stories of guys in prison literally getting RICH while serving life or long sentences from selling dope. Crazy.

And SO MANY of the guys here have Hepatitis C!! I don’t know how easy it is to catch but it makes me nervous being celled up with someone who has it!! That would end my fighting career! One more reason to avoid fighting in here though, last thing I want is that blood on me… ugh!

So a few of the cops that work here at the jail told me they were curious and "Googled" my name. They told me that they watched the surveillance footage of the fight that landed me here. Unanimously they agreed that it was bullshit! They told me they can’t believe I got charged and nobody else did. Furthermore, they said it was ridiculous that I received a felony as a result. I already knew this but it’s nice to have police officers share the opinion. At most, I should have gotten a misdemeanor battery, lame. Watch for yourself. YouTube search "War Machine Bar Brawl."

Either way, I shouldn’t be out drinking and putting myself in situations where problems can occur, but I just hate the fact that I’m labeled as some arch criminal, bully, when it’s not the case. The bouncer I fought in Vegas was my co-worker and was 6’3" 350 lbs. The fight I got into at the porn party was me vs. 7 guys and I was NEVER EVEN CHARGED because the cops/DA ruled it self-defense. Don’t believe the hype/media. As a professional, I’m always respectful in the cage and I put on entertaining fights. When I’m free again, I won’t put myself in shitty situations and these mishaps will be behind me.

Cagepotato Comments

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Prometheus- October 16, 2010 at 2:27 pm
It may have helped if he didn't legally change his name to "War Machine."
Fried Taco- October 16, 2010 at 11:00 am
I heard from somebody that knew someone at the porn party that WM started fighting because he refused to cross swords with the other guys. Apparently they weren't shaved to his satisfaction.
ScarTissue- October 16, 2010 at 6:26 am
Did ya'll not watch the same video as I did? The news cast that aired after it all went down showed that he kept going back when things moved outside and punching more dudes even after his friends tried to drag him away. He was still throwing punches as the cops rolled up.

I'm kinda disappointed, I thought it was going to be video of his porno co-worker brawl.
Komodo- October 15, 2010 at 7:52 pm
LOLZ @ cecil_pupils..
ilvbllythekd12- October 15, 2010 at 6:56 pm
This ^^
That_guy- October 15, 2010 at 6:29 pm
I especially like how he needs privacy to shave his balls, but he can rub one out several times a day and not care who is around. Priorities I guess.
That_guy- October 15, 2010 at 6:29 pm
I especially like how he need privacy to shave his balls, but he can rub one out several times a day and not care who is around. Priorities I guess.
NinjaNerd8- October 15, 2010 at 5:21 pm
These blogs are making me feel pretty bad for Jon.
MediumRare- October 15, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Wow just watched the vid of the fight and it does seem like he got fucked.

I guess the prosecutor figured he'd get more press if he went after a pro fighter named "War Machine."

Does anyone know if the dude throwing the first punch in that vid is WM's buddy or a bouncer?
LAS- October 15, 2010 at 4:38 pm
I don't really understand how you can set a world record for whacking it when you live in a cell with bars on it; aren't you worried about someone walking by and seeing you? Or do I have the wrong idea of what prisons look like today?
LetMeStickItInYourRua- October 15, 2010 at 4:20 pm
Honestly. According to the video it looks like Koppenhaver is right. He didn't throw the first punch and wasn't really the one who started it. Wow! The world is gonna end cause I just sided with a dude who changed his name to War Machine =(
cecils_pupils- October 15, 2010 at 4:14 pm
While in prison, War's pubes are experiencing more growth than his character.
Carl Sagan- October 15, 2010 at 3:57 pm
All this personal growth is going to go out the window when he has his first shot out of the joint.
coronaking- October 15, 2010 at 3:55 pm
anyone notice that one of the tags for the this article is "ball shaving"?
Kimbos Bread- October 15, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Yeah what the hell you mean breast?

And why does that pic look so photoshopped?
BigBalluh- October 15, 2010 at 3:48 pm
breasts? that looks like a fucking goat head
duneflyer- October 15, 2010 at 3:35 pm
oh how I miss the 'Machine's' antics abroad....
I should go shave my pubes...