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Watch This Dude Break James Toney’s Record for the Fastest Firing of a Zuffa Employee

(Video courtesy YouTube/UFC)

The best part of Dana White’s most recent video blog was getting to re-watch the UFC’s new Portuguese translator fail miserably at his job and basically get shit-canned on the spot by the company’s president within a few minutes of starting his new role with Zuffa at yesterday’s UFC 126 press conference. Seriously, we figured it was going to be tough for anyone to beat James Toney’s mark of 3:19, but this dude did it, and did it in style.

First the guy finishes one of his suspiciously brief translations of a long-winded response by Anderson Silva with, "That’s the essence of [what he said]," then he admitted that he wasn’t paying attention to one of the Brazilian reporter’s questions, which is odd considering it’s, I don’t know….HIS JOB to translate the questions and answers for the press conference.

White didn’t pull any punches with the disinterested translator who was hired in response to criticism that the UFC’s former translator, Ed Soares, was guilty of sugar coating and sometimes purposely mistranslating some of the less complimentary statements his fighters like Silva and Junior dos Santos made during post-fight interviews. When his latest hire screwed up, White snapped and told the guy, who seemed out of place in a room full of fight fans and reporters (to say the least) to hand the microphone to Soares.

Note to future applicants: Wait until your probation period is up before getting fired. That way you can at least walk away with benefits and a 401K. This dude barely had UFC entered as his employer on Facebook and now he has to explain to all the people in his book club and birdwatching society that he is unemployed again.

Cagepotato Comments

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zenon_k- February 3, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Why don't they get Eduardo Alonso to do it? Dude translates very well (and verbatim) and I'm sure they could get him to do it.
ghostboner- February 3, 2011 at 11:40 pm
OK so 2:45-3:00 when all the fighters are standing in line... Rich Franklin looked smaller than Vitor, Bader just looked huge, and Jones looked substantially bigger than Forrest. The weight cuts must be murder for most of these guys.

Also, I wonder if it was awkward for Forrest to have to hang with Anderson, considering how he still doesn't like to talk about "it"...
Joe-Say Aldo- February 3, 2011 at 10:37 pm
HAHA! Jonny Bones decided to go with the "Disrespect Opponent" selection just like in UFC Undisputed 2010. Greg Jackson was right, coaching Bones is just like coaching a video game.

This is going to be one of the best cards in a while. The fights might suck, but the outcomes matter a lot regardless.
Prometheus- February 3, 2011 at 9:43 pm
God damn this is going to be awesome...
Seoul Brother- February 3, 2011 at 9:22 pm
That fuckin' choad translator is gonna have to go back to humpin' the slow bitch at the fryolator for his old shifts.
TheHulkSmash- February 3, 2011 at 8:21 pm
The Silva Belfort staredown was fuckin intense! Silva is goanna come strong!

Silva is like BJ penn. There's the real Silva and the clown Silva, we're getting the real Silva this time. He's gonna smoke belfort like forrest griffin only worse, because vitor won't be able to laugh about it after.
Dubbayoo- February 3, 2011 at 7:47 pm
Wow, Ed Soares is awesome!
Smitty- February 3, 2011 at 7:42 pm
I couldn't be more pumped if I were a penile implant!!! WAR UFC 126!!!!!!!!
FaH Q NL15- February 3, 2011 at 7:37 pm
FUCK YEA BONGTAR! That shit had me fuckin grittin and starin just as hard as them mofos,, Im beyond amped for this shit. Vitor with the first round KO. I CAN FEEEEEL IT
Buff Frank Mir- February 3, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Where's my boy Chael when you need him?
Kimbos Bread- February 3, 2011 at 6:23 pm
@ Skeletor

Ya I heard that too. Apparently Anderson was disguised as some silver-haired flaming homosexual and the Egyptian protesters weren't amused. They let him and his crew have it.

the silver hawaiian- February 3, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Skeletor +1
skeletor- February 3, 2011 at 6:16 pm
Is this fight even still on? Didn't anyone else hear about Anderson and his crew getting attacked and beaten up in Egypt? What the fuck was he even doing in Egypt two days before his fight? I hope he's alright I was really looking forward to this fight.
BONGTAR- February 3, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Anderson and Vitor's stare down had clenching my fuckin teeth. I wanna go fuckin train now. As I'm known at my gym, Big Right BONGATR. Fuckin smashin motherfuckers for years with that shit. Yeah, im talkin shit, just pumped.
djp1988- February 3, 2011 at 5:27 pm
I didn't know Cecil Peoples spoke Portuguese.
coldbeer78- February 3, 2011 at 5:22 pm
You have to love those obvious quotes from Dana... "neither one of those guys wants to get on the plane without the belt". Really ? No shit ? Cuz if it were me all I would be thinking was, "shit... with airport security being so tight these days and with the extra baggage fees, bringing this belt with me is just gonna add to the already huge clusterfuck. Fuck it... I'm tanking this fight and zipping thru security !"
omunto- February 3, 2011 at 5:18 pm
I’m sure the guy was not translating properly however I did think it was funny that when they asked for a direct quote Ed Soares (or however it's spelled) starts with "Basically what he said is um that, you know..." so he too was not giving a direct quote. I understand that Portuguese doesn't translate to English perfectly but this guy has a history of not quoting his fighters verbatim.
RearNakedSpoon- February 3, 2011 at 5:05 pm
I clicked the "he thought the ad said transvestite" tag hoping there was atleast one more ludicrous article, it has to be worked in somewhere else now.
PELF- February 3, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Yes, the guy was nervous, but he also doesn't speak shit of Portuguese. My native tongue is portuguese and I can assure you his portuguese is as good as Anderson's English. I honestly cannot believe he was hired as a translator. Not possible :|
Hexed79- February 3, 2011 at 4:33 pm
I thought the baldfather was pulling our chains about the Silva/Belfort staredowns, but that shit from the second video blog was intense.
Clyde- February 3, 2011 at 4:16 pm
Good job, fella. It's nice to know that with unemployment being so high, some people are still comfortable enough to show up on their first day and pay no attention to what they're supposed to be doing.

Maybe he's just never had to do this in the middle of a huge press conference before. Or maybe Ed Soares made sure he got a phone call before the conference to say that his loved ones are surrounded by the Noguieras and JDS and they will fuck their shit up if he makes Soares look bad.

Those are the two best theories I have at this time.
Kimbos Bread- February 3, 2011 at 4:08 pm
Man Dana needs to chill the fuck out and let the guy ease into the job. He was obviously nervous.

I remember the days when that douchbag had hair, was 30kg lighter, and was the shakiest fucker on the planet. We all know he's come a long way in all those categories.
intercept440- February 3, 2011 at 3:46 pm
stupid ass should have realized he was about to be shit canned and just made some shit up...

dana "what did she just say?"

soon to be fired translater " she said that she wants you to stuff titos huge head up her donut hole"........" yea thats basically what she said"