This Is the Way the World Ends: Tank Abbott vs. Butterbean to Headline 'Alabama Pride' in December
(Too old for this shit vs. Too fat for this shit.)
It was the fight that needed to happen. Well, maybe needed is too strong a word, but vodka bottles and turkey legs don't grow on trees, and it's either this or substitute teaching. That's right, freak-fight-fans: UFC pioneer Tank Abbott (10-14) and beach-ball-shaped knockout artist Eric "Butterbean" Esch (13-7-1 MMA, 77-7-4 boxing) will be getting it on at a Thunder Promotions MMA event called "Alabama Pride," which will go down December 12th at the BJCC Arena in Birmingham. Amazingly, both men are coming off wins. Abbott snapped a four-fight losing streak in February with his KO via rabbit punches of Mike Bourke. Butterbean last competed ten days ago, defeating Tom Howard by RNC in a fight that looked like it might have been a work; either that, or Tom Howard really is a belly-flopping pussy (no offense).
Now, Butterbean and Tank will finally get to see who has the better haymakers. But don't be surprised if Bean tools Tank on the ground; he's honed his grappling at American Top Team, and his last four wins have come by submission. "Alabama Pride" also promises a celebrity fight between rapper DMX and Eric Martinez, who's so famous that Wikipedia has never heard of him. If anybody can shed some light, please do so in the comments section.
After the jump: The event poster, and why Tank vs. Bean probably won't be decided by leg kicks.
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Comments
Numa Says:
Found out a little bit more info...
Martinez is the CEO of Power Moves Entertainment, a record label, management firm, and event promotion company based out of Albuquerque, New Mexico.
According to Martinez’ bio, he is an official member of DMX’s management team and will wrestle the rapper during the event, which is dubbed “Alabama Pride.”
Viva Hate Says:
FINALLY! The fight 4 people have been waiting for, well Tank Abbott, Butterbean, and both their managers do count.
I wont lie, this story made me a little hard, this fight has laughs written all over it!
TheSlothman Says:
DMX was once paid 8 mil. to make a movie, now hes wrestling one of his underlings in an Alabama freakshow? Put down the pipe son, please....
Richard Tucker Says:
DMX should be fighting Rodney King.
Fedor vs. Bas Says:
Greatest leg kick ever thrown by butter bean! I'm laughing out loud in my cube.
Viva Hate Says:
Somewhere Coolio is pissed that he missed an oppurtunity
bobzemuda Says:
There's something philosophical about Butterbean's crotch pressed up against Bourke's spandex clad ass that reads simply, "Truth."
Now that's what you call getting bourked.
Viva Hate Says:
Wow Tank Abbott has chicken legs and appears to be sneezing
BuckWild Says:
Worse than war gods!
too bad Shamerock roided up and wasn't able to tap tank.
Im telling ya. CP is onto something with the elderly mma. I think the UFC should do it. So they can have their very own freakshow!
BuckWild Says:
@ Viva Hate
No, it looks like he is yawning ! That kick wore him out!
Douchey McDoucherton Says:
I got Tank via better beer gut
RPS13 Says:
that howard fight look fixed for sure. and i hope dmx gets paralyzed or something
Chri534. Says:
King of the World Entertainment is a company that manages DMX's music and acting career, and apparently there is an Eric Martinez who is in charge of marketing/branding for them. No idea if they're one in the same, but I thought I'd throw that out there.
www.hiphoppress.com/2009/05/dmx-new-day-new-team.html
Soda Popinski Says:
going.
Viva Hate Says:
@Buck,
The kick wore him out and his cardio still looks better than Wes Shivers.
Also, is DMX safe in Alabama, its not exactially a beacon of racial acceptance.
Well, looks like once again I will do something I said Id never do, I have to go to Alabama to see this fight. Does anyone know a nice place to stay in Alabama? That just looks weird.
Soda Popinski Says:
damn, this is the same weekend as UFC 107.
i got some choices to make.
Viva Hate Says:
@Soda,
No brainer
UFC 107- Penn vs. Sanchez, Florian vs. Guida, Mir vs. Kongo, Alves vs. Thiago
or
Alabam Pride- Abbott vs Butterbea, DMX vs Martinez
No brainer, ALABAMA PRIDE ALL THE WAY! Im there!
Soda Popinski Says:
by the way, tickets are 5 bucks. and i didnt leave a number out. 5 bucks. like, bring a 5 dollar bill and you're in.
terrific.
Daddy_jeffy Says:
"either that, or Tom Howard really is a belly-flopping pussy (no offense)."
That comment is an insult to belly-flopping pussies everywhere.
dbiggles Says:
Do you think butterbean will make until December ? I think I would rather bet on those odds
Viva Hate Says:
Wow tickets really range from 5 to 75,
5 bucks seems like a steal to watch two lard asses try and destroy each other and as a bonus watch DMX try to prison shank someone from his management company.
Viva Hate Says:
Okay,
Since this is in Alabama and DMX will be the photo negative of a lot of people, I will set up the over/under on rational slurs at 53.4.........Any takers?
I am going with the over.
Barc Says:
Poor Tom Howard. It wasn't the choke that did it. It was the Butterbean Belly Flop seconds before. R.I.P. Tom. You went out like a bellyflopping pussy... There's a mental image for ya. That'd be wild to see.
DeepHalf Says:
For those of you who didn't know, Birmingham is probably just as black as Detroit and Atlanta as lots of cotton plantations were there back in the day.
After the Tank/Butterbean fight, I think they should have all 4 of those headliners (DMX included) have a rib eating contest or something.
GSP for Prime M... Says:
*doo doo doo* STOP... *doo doo doo* DROP... *doo doo doo* SHUT EM DOWN OPEN UP SHOP!!!! *doo doo doo* OHHH... *doo doo doo* NO... *doo doo doo* THATS HOW RUFF RYDERS ROLLLL!!!
Viva Hate Says:
@Deep,
I love your idea bout the rib eating, I would take DMX, the smaller guys always win the eating contests, the big guys are just excited about the free food.
Eating Contest Would go down like this
DMX- 34 ribs in 5 minutes
Martinez- 10 ribs in 5 minutes
Tank- 5 ribs and 15 beers in 5 minutes
Butterbean-dead of a heart attack from the excitement of free ribs.
MediumRare Says:
Butterbean looks like an obese toddler trying to throw that leg kick
DefinitelyMaybe Says:
It may be my old-man eye-site playing tricks on me, but each time I read this I keep seeing "Thunder-Bottom Promotions Presents"...
Either that, or or CP is sending me subliminal truth-in-advertising messages.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy my Slap-Chop. You see, I have to call in the next 20 minutes, because they can't do this all day.
El Famous Burrito Says:
"Rational slurs?"
Hey! Man-of-African-Descent! Your album sales were less than projected!
Ribs are quite popular in your community, but only in certain demographics!
According to statistics, it's unlikely you graduated from high school!
Soda Popinski Says:
Viva Hate Says:
Tue, 09/29/2009 - 14:38
"Also, is DMX safe in Alabama, its not exactially a beacon of racial acceptance."
The Mayor of Birmingham is Larry Langford. A black man. Just saying.
"Well, looks like once again I will do something I said Id never do, I have to go to Alabama to see this fight. Does anyone know a nice place to stay in Alabama? That just looks weird."
I live about 10 minutes from where this is taking place near downtown birmingham. Birmingham isnt that bad of a place. The outskirts can get rough as can any city. But the downtown area is actually pleasant and upscale. You should be fine finding a descent place to stay.
See ya there.
Subo Says:
I'm nominating Zmuda for comment of the year.
Clyde Says:
Very nice EFB. To be fair though, I loved DMX's first 4 albums. Went to shit after that though. And you can't really excuse the fact that he was in a film with Seven Segal and still looked like a terrible actor by comparison.
Back to the Bean/Howard fight; I'd be more worried if that fight wasn't a fix. The announcer's talking about "the mat is wet and slippery". Was it baby oil wrestling? Those guys don't look like any strippers I've ever seen. How the fuck can you run a fight promotion with a fight surface that's too slippery to stand on. Although it seems to work for ice hockey.
TfTransplant Says:
El Famous Burrito, you sir deserve a shirt or two for that great comment.
itsgalf Says:
hahaha I was just about to pick up on that
Viva Hate Says:
Well, shoot me for not knowing much about Birmingham, guess I need to this fight and take in some of Alabama while I am at it that weekend.
Koeikan Says:
LOL @ their kicks.
bpd Says:
I'm shocked that this fight was not at the recent Gathering of the Juggalos.
MyFightWiffaCheeto Says:
"El Famous Burrito Says:
Tue, 09/29/2009 - 16:38
"Rational slurs?"
Hey! Man-of-African-Descent! Your album sales were less than projected!
Ribs are quite popular in your community, but only in certain demographics!
According to statistics, it's unlikely you graduated from high school!"
Thank you to El Famous Burrito for being one of the few reasons I sometimes read the comments here. Also, Thank you to El Famous Burrito for making fun of Viva Hate, also known as post whore or one of the newest reasons I don't read the comments here.
mybongsnameisgr... Says:
@bpd
Juggalos piss me off. with their little hatchet guy tattoos and car stickers
Viva Hate Says:
@MyFightWhiffaCheeto
Sorry you got sand in your vagina, oh well get over it. Don't like what I post, oh well, not going to stop me.
Bovice Says:
What the fuck? Is DMX going to get a bag of crack if he wins?
Crap Factory Says:
I don't give a shit what anyone says about him, Abbott is a legend in this sport. I can't see why he doesn't get the respect he deserves. Hell, the UFC wouldn't have half the power it does today if it wasn't for what he did in the beginning.
Abbott beats Butterbean in the first with a tub of KFC. (Ref calls the fight due to spontaneous eating)
Bloodlust Says:
The Butterbean v Tank matchup has so much freak so appeal I can't believe it's not happening in the city of Japan. DMX vs a member of his management team? yeah, that sounds like its gonna be legit. Couldnt they have at least got a member of the Wu Tang Clan to fight him. I'd love to see the Rza flying armbar his ass. Protons Electrons Always Cause Explosions.
just some dong Says:
Gold, El Famous. Solid gold!