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20 Absolutely Insane Tattoos Inspired by Stanley Kubrick Movies

“We Pull No Punches” Caption Contest: And the Winners Are…

(Hey, at least they’re actually doing something on this season of Whale Wars.) 

A congratulations is in order to those of you who managed to submit an entry for our “Pull No Punches” caption contest; all 134 of you. If this contest showed us anything, it’s that when it comes to comedy, or at least an attempt at it, you Taters are some like-minded SOB’s. There were at least 95 horsemeat jokes (including one likely hipster who thought ironically pointing out this fact would somehow win him a shirt), 20 some odd Anthony Johnson or B.J. Penn jokes (which are always solid), and a handful of Over the Top references (which were actually pretty awesome). Since we enjoyed scanning through your entries as much as the UFC enjoys scanning through our articles to keep us in check, we must first recognize some of the captions that just fell short of T-shirt glory.

franco3445: The Nevada State Athletic Commission came to the conclusion that the only way Overeem could compete with the T/E ratio of 14 men was to go against someone the size of 14 men.

skeletor: There is no fucking way that Anthony Johnson is making weight this time.

P2: They smiled when they realized, if you use your left hand, it totally does feel like someone else is arm wrestling.

Deadpanda: Not to be outdone by the Japanese New Year’s Freak Show, US promoters put together a 4th of July event between Alistair Overeem & Joseph Son’s inflamed right testicle.

RwilsonR: We all know BJ lets himself go between fights, but I had no idea he stops shaving his back.

mcw89138: Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the new main event for UFC 149.

BossNasty: Reem…It’s not polite to play with your food.

And now, to the winners…

flyingtriarmbarplada, for his pair of zingers that we simply could not choose between: ”Its good to see that Alistair doesnt hold anything against Valentijn for eating their mother.” and “if this gets him a chance at a title shot im switching to WWE..”

Sho Nuff, for the funniest TRT-related joke of the bunch: “Alistair: Look, how many times do I have to tell you people, neither myself nor my 8 year old son has ever taken steroids.”

And LOKI, for his absolutely brutal, way-too-soon assessment of Japan: “It seems the meltdown at Fukushima has already had a dramatic effect on the populous.”

My God, Loki, that was simply too dark to not warrant our praise. For you lucky few, make sure to send us your real name, shirt size, and mailing address to and we’ll be sure to ship out your shirts ASAP. For serious this time. As for the rest of you, thanks again for the effort. If you call THAT effort. BWAHAHAHA!!

-J. Jones


  1. ytrebil Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 09:25

    Horseshit! The runners up were way better...
  2. KidDinomite Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 09:42

    Yeah, who's judging the contest? I never enter because I don't have the wit others do but cmon!
  3. knucklesamitch Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 09:55

    If I was voting, Skeletor is the hands down winner out of the captions listed.
  4. Sho Nuff Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 09:57

    Loki, you're a sick, sick man. So funny and wrong.
  5. Fried Taco Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 09:59

    What? No honorable mention for any XARM jokes?
  6. El Famous Burrito Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 10:01

    I liked Sho Nuff's
  7. anderson wanderlei paulo thiago alves silva Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 10:38

    It looks like the SFL's press conference includes a complementary preview of their development league.
  8. Kimbo Lesnar Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 11:11

    RwilsonR was the clear winner. RECOUNT!
  9. Mr_Misanthropy Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 11:43

    Pretty fair judging. RwilRsonR was pretty funny with the manscaping though.
  10. El Guapo Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 12:36

    Danga... You insulted my mother, my manhood, my race, my religion. But if you EVER insult my Ryan Seacrest again, I'll (Manvil voice)"make genocide on your head, brrrro!" Good day, sir.
  11. winklepicker Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 01:25

  12. J.Jones Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 01:28

    For the last time, Guapo, stop confusing me with your wife.
  13. LOKI Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 01:39

    Funny story, I was in Japan a week before the quake and always kinda felt gyped. Plus the airport was a huge letdown; like 2nd world low-tech, no live gameshows, no dancing anime character, no lil'gurls in school uniforms eating their own vomit comprized of 100 guys' jizz. D-pressing. And now I profit at the expense of her people's missery. Its the circle of life. All thanks to you CP!
  14. El Guapo Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 02:35

  15. Romanhelmut Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 02:53

  16. Romanhelmut Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 02:57

    After Alistair ate 3 of his horses, Korean farmer Huckleberry Kim decided to settle the score old school. After breaking his arm ala Stallone's masterpiece "Over the Top", Huckleberry Kim locked him in a bird cage with his brother, only to eat them both later in an Overeem sandwich.....
  17. RwilsonR Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 04:07

    LOKI's topical one was pretty damn good.
  18. ReX13 Says:

    Thu, 07/05/12 - 05:40

    p2 was robbed. snickered in my cubicle for a solid two minutes.
  19. Alan K Says:

    Fri, 07/06/12 - 08:26

  20. P2 Says:

    Fri, 07/06/12 - 11:53

    Thanks, Rex. If it got a snicker, that's enough for me. Truly, though, it was an honor just to be nominated.
  21. intercept440 Says:

    Sat, 07/07/12 - 12:50

    i still want my shirt you fucking wankers......
  22. flyingtriarmbarplada Says:

    Tue, 07/17/12 - 04:29

    Apparently the shirts are as real as Overeem is clean. dont screw me cagepotato.
  23. UxN12SfaIB Says:

    Sun, 10/13/13 - 09:17

    The Silent Shard... This can possibly be quite valuable for some within your work I decide to you should not only with my weblog but...

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