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“We Pull No Punches” Caption Contest: And the Winners Are…

(Hey, at least they’re actually doing something on this season of Whale Wars.) 

A congratulations is in order to those of you who managed to submit an entry for our “Pull No Punches” caption contest; all 134 of you. If this contest showed us anything, it’s that when it comes to comedy, or at least an attempt at it, you Taters are some like-minded SOB’s. There were at least 95 horsemeat jokes (including one likely hipster who thought ironically pointing out this fact would somehow win him a shirt), 20 some odd Anthony Johnson or B.J. Penn jokes (which are always solid), and a handful of Over the Top references (which were actually pretty awesome). Since we enjoyed scanning through your entries as much as the UFC enjoys scanning through our articles to keep us in check, we must first recognize some of the captions that just fell short of T-shirt glory.

franco3445: The Nevada State Athletic Commission came to the conclusion that the only way Overeem could compete with the T/E ratio of 14 men was to go against someone the size of 14 men.

skeletor: There is no fucking way that Anthony Johnson is making weight this time.

P2: They smiled when they realized, if you use your left hand, it totally does feel like someone else is arm wrestling.

Deadpanda: Not to be outdone by the Japanese New Year’s Freak Show, US promoters put together a 4th of July event between Alistair Overeem & Joseph Son’s inflamed right testicle.

RwilsonR: We all know BJ lets himself go between fights, but I had no idea he stops shaving his back.

mcw89138: Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the new main event for UFC 149.

BossNasty: Reem…It’s not polite to play with your food.

And now, to the winners…

flyingtriarmbarplada, for his pair of zingers that we simply could not choose between: ”Its good to see that Alistair doesnt hold anything against Valentijn for eating their mother.” and “if this gets him a chance at a title shot im switching to WWE..”

Sho Nuff, for the funniest TRT-related joke of the bunch: “Alistair: Look, how many times do I have to tell you people, neither myself nor my 8 year old son has ever taken steroids.”

And LOKI, for his absolutely brutal, way-too-soon assessment of Japan: “It seems the meltdown at Fukushima has already had a dramatic effect on the populous.”

My God, Loki, that was simply too dark to not warrant our praise. For you lucky few, make sure to send us your real name, shirt size, and mailing address to and we’ll be sure to ship out your shirts ASAP. For serious this time. As for the rest of you, thanks again for the effort. If you call THAT effort. BWAHAHAHA!!

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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flyingtriarmbarplada- July 17, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Apparently the shirts are as real as Overeem is clean. dont screw me cagepotato.
intercept440- July 7, 2012 at 12:50 pm
i still want my shirt you fucking wankers......
P2- July 6, 2012 at 11:53 pm
Thanks, Rex. If it got a snicker, that's enough for me. Truly, though, it was an honor just to be nominated.
Alan K- July 6, 2012 at 8:26 am
ReX13- July 5, 2012 at 5:40 pm
p2 was robbed. snickered in my cubicle for a solid two minutes.
RwilsonR- July 5, 2012 at 4:07 pm
LOKI's topical one was pretty damn good.
Romanhelmut- July 5, 2012 at 2:57 pm
After Alistair ate 3 of his horses, Korean farmer Huckleberry Kim decided to settle the score old school. After breaking his arm ala Stallone's masterpiece "Over the Top", Huckleberry Kim locked him in a bird cage with his brother, only to eat them both later in an Overeem sandwich.....
Romanhelmut- July 5, 2012 at 2:53 pm
LOKI- July 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Funny story, I was in Japan a week before the quake and always kinda felt gyped. Plus the airport was a huge letdown; like 2nd world low-tech, no live gameshows, no dancing anime character, no lil'gurls in school uniforms eating their own vomit comprized of 100 guys' jizz. D-pressing. And now I profit at the expense of her people's missery. Its the circle of life. All thanks to you CP!
winklepicker- July 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm
El Guapo- July 5, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Danga... You insulted my mother, my manhood, my race, my religion.
But if you EVER insult my Ryan Seacrest again, I'll (Manvil voice)"make genocide on your head, brrrro!"
Good day, sir.
J.Jones- July 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm
For the last time, Guapo, stop confusing me with your wife.
El Guapo- July 5, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Mr_Misanthropy- July 5, 2012 at 11:43 am
Pretty fair judging. RwilRsonR was pretty funny with the manscaping though.
Kimbo Lesnar- July 5, 2012 at 11:11 am
RwilsonR was the clear winner. RECOUNT!
anderson wanderlei paulo thiago alves silva- July 5, 2012 at 10:38 am
It looks like the SFL's press conference includes a complementary preview of their development league.
El Famous Burrito- July 5, 2012 at 10:01 am
I liked Sho Nuff's
Fried Taco- July 5, 2012 at 9:59 am
What? No honorable mention for any XARM jokes?
Sho Nuff- July 5, 2012 at 9:57 am
Loki, you're a sick, sick man. So funny and wrong.
knucklesamitch- July 5, 2012 at 9:55 am
If I was voting, Skeletor is the hands down winner out of the captions listed.
KidDinomite- July 5, 2012 at 9:42 am
Yeah, who's judging the contest? I never enter because I don't have the wit others do but cmon!
ytrebil- July 5, 2012 at 9:25 am
Horseshit! The runners up were way better...