(War Machine slips into a brief trance. This is why we say no flash photography around him, people.)
- Competing at last night’s XMMA event in Montreal, the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver earned a submission victory over previously unbeaten Guillaume “El Toro” Delorenzi via rear naked choke. When reached for the comment, the citizens of the world replied, “War Machine? That guy who threatened the president on MySpace? He fights?”
- Mike “Quick” Swick will face Ben Saunders at UFC 99 in Germany, according to Five Ounces of Pain. Saunders last competed against Brandon Wolff, the fighter War Machine refused to face due to fears that he might be both good and relatively unknown, thus earning his dismissal from the UFC. Using his height and a series of brutal knees, Saunders made quick work of Wolff at "Fight for the Troops." Now he gets Swick in Germany. Why not.
- After insisting that he’s been in negotiations with Strikeforce to give this MMA stuff a try, it seems as if Hasim Rahman is even more full of shit than we suspected. Strikfeforce’s Mike Afromowitz told MMA Fanhouse there has been “no dialogue” with Rahman or his manager about a fight with Kimbo Slice, as Rahman’s manager had claimed. Maybe by ‘talking to Strikefore’ he really meant ‘watching old Strikeforce fights on the internet?’ As for Kimbo, Afromowitz described those talks as “ongoing.”
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Comments
Sat, 02/28/09 - 10:09
why does war machine always look like hes about to cry? what a tool
Sat, 02/28/09 - 10:31
You're a tool.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 11:08
I'm a tool.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 11:41
me too
Sat, 02/28/09 - 11:49
I like that shirt.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 12:03
we're all tools yay
Sat, 02/28/09 - 12:17
Fuck a tanning salon.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 12:21
War Machine won his street fight the got him put on probation before the one at the gay bar by RNC, too!
Sat, 02/28/09 - 12:23
Why do you guys intist on writing about this joker War Machine its getting to be a daily occurance are you guys that desperate for stories that you keep posting stupid shit about this imbread, or are you guys closet Koppenhaver fans? Please come up with some more original stuff like PEE PEE PEE TASTER!
Sat, 02/28/09 - 12:24
cute they have the same hair
Sat, 02/28/09 - 12:27
War machine is the only mexi American that insists on goin to the tanning salon before every voyage to work wether its fighting or bouncing at queer bar!
Sat, 02/28/09 - 01:10
I was on the fence about a full back-of-the-hand reverse stencil tattoo, but seeing the way Jon War Doppleganger and Junie pull it off... I'm going to reconsider. Maybe the kind that you stare at it for 15 seconds and then look away and you see the positive image of Dana White and Jesus smiling and holding their fists to each others' chin.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 01:13
Imagine how silly we will all feel in a year from now after WarMachine crushes GSP in the first round of a title fight. The forums will be rife with regret when we find out that the Warring Machine feeds off embarassment and ridicule. It will be too late when we realise that the ex-Koppenhaver suckles at the teat of humilation. The interwebs will have engorged him until he has become a Fedor like juggernaut in the welterweight division. We shall eat crow my friends, we shall fucking eat crow.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 01:17
Note: The UFC lanyard his friend is wearing.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 01:25
If Saunders comes out like he did against Wolff, and swick comes out the traps like we know he can, that should be one hell of an opening round.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 02:25
swick tko, 45 seconds round 1
Sat, 02/28/09 - 03:33
In my opinion, Kimbo would be LUCKY to fight The Rock. I don't think it would even be a contest. Sure, Kimbo may have a few extra months of all-round MMA training on him, but Hasim is an athlete and knocked out Lenox Lewis (aka one of the most phenomenal fighting althetes...ever) to take the heavyweight title in boxing! With a few months of basic MMA prep for Rock it would be, as far as I'm concerned, two MMA novices, both with street credibility and brutal personal histories, but only one with real athleticism. Kimbo is an intimidating monster, but Rock is a natural athlete. That being said, Kimbo v Rock would print money for Strikeforce.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 05:14
Anyone else see how crooked his right eye is? damn.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 06:20
did anyone else notice how full and pouty war machine's lips are?
Sat, 02/28/09 - 06:29
Gavin, you're a faggot and you such at jiu jitsu.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 07:23
This photo was brought to the authorities' attention after Jeff Monson's girlfriend said that, in a fit of rage, he had tattooed an anarchy sign on War Machine's Fist...
Sat, 02/28/09 - 10:29
Koppenhaver (i refuse to use his gay porn name) needs to go back to the cesspool he came from. piece of shit he is.
Sat, 02/28/09 - 11:20
WTF BRO DONT USE MY SLAVE NAME OR I MIGHT GO CRAZY AND GET IN A FIGHT WITH JEFF MONSONS 300 POUND GRAND FATHER CLOCK
Sun, 03/01/09 - 02:27
Spice up your sex life by trying a bit of `rodeo sex`. Take your missus from behind and, holding on tightly to her jugs, call her by the wrong name. See how long you can `stay mounted` for.
Sun, 03/01/09 - 10:47
PurplePickle, that was fucking golden. BRAVO, SIR! Bravo.
Sun, 03/01/09 - 07:42
So with all this Koppenhaver everyone failed to laugh at the fact that there is a dude with the last name Afromowitz walking around out there?
Sun, 03/01/09 - 07:53
I mistakenly thought Afromowitz was the name for Koscheck's hairstyle. Woops.
Sun, 03/01/09 - 11:58
Hmm. Let's see, He spray paints himself orange. He manscapes his eyebrows. Loves the fauxhawk haircut, Affliction style shirts, chick pants combo. Oh and drops homophobe comments at every turn. Uh, It's official. He's gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Mon, 03/02/09 - 01:43
War Machine copied Junie Browning's anarchy hand tattoo? That is pathetic!
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