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Well-Informed Fight Expert Explains How He Would Beat the Inbred ‘Feedor Emelenkio’

(Props: DementedRants via adrenochrome)

Dan Quinn, you have competition. The new up-and-comer in the YouTube Crackpot division is a 51-year-old dude calling himself Damian Demento, who releases talk-radio-style blowhard rants on MMA, pro-wrestling, and marijuana. He’s a very angry person, and his latest hostility-target is Fedor Emelianenko. Despite the fact that Demento didn’t watch the fight on Saturday, he wasn’t too impressed by Fedor’s performance, or the predictable head-hunting style of Brett Rogers. For the benefit of all us stupid MMA fans, he explains how he’d be able to defeat the fighter that he knows as “Feedor Emelenkio.” Basically, generations of Soviet inbreeding have produced Fedor’s trademark dwarfed head and thick skull, and what you really need to do is put the boots to his belly. And Fedor would fall for it, because he’s no smarter than Brock Leznahr or Chuck Little. If you enjoyed this rant, please check out “HOW I CAN BEAT BROCK LESNAR and “PROOF UFC IS FAKE.” I tell you, after a few hits of PCP, this guy begins to make a lot of sense.

Speaking of shit that makes me laugh…

Cagepotato Comments

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Cosmin- November 12, 2009 at 10:40 am
Boromir: "One does not simply BOOT into Fedor!"
Craigger12- November 11, 2009 at 11:36 pm
I can't understand how you all bought this as legit... fail.
CapitalQ- November 11, 2009 at 9:55 am
It all makes sense now...Fedor has retard strength. All this talk about Russian cybernetics experiments and all it took was an extra chromosome.
CheckHisPee- November 11, 2009 at 7:40 am
Damian Demento, what, an, idiot. In a perfect world Fedor would show up to his studio unannounced and slap him into submision/unconsciousness, I mean just slap the shit right out of him. No punches, cuz closed hands against a retard just ain't right. Anyhow, is it just me or did Gegard's brother seem to be looking for a little tongue-action towards the end of his little kiss-fest? lol Bottom line though, good stuff as usual CP, entertaining and provocative, this site's the bizzy.
Harry Russo- November 11, 2009 at 2:23 am
Mirko left foot prints on Fedor's ribs, so that just debunks this guys theory.
Sneaky Pete- November 10, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Do you know how I would beat Demento? I would divide the amount of idiotic things he's said by his IQ. The resulting hole in the universe would destroy us both. It would be a pyrrhic, while moral victory.
RearFullyClothedChoke- November 10, 2009 at 9:42 pm
This guy is from the future, he's the seed of our very own Dan Quinn's inbreeding, generations from today. *shudder*
Scott_Whitt- November 10, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Who in their right mind still refers to themselves by their wrestling persona even though they have been out of the ring for over a decade?
Oops, sorry Warrior did not see you over there.
Kimbos Bread- November 10, 2009 at 9:16 pm
I'll have whatever he's smoking!
LAS- November 10, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Yeah, shame on you guys for posting this. This guy makes Reggie Warren Jr. sound like George Carlin. At least with Dan Quinn, you got the sense that he actually believed most of the crazy shit he said, whereas this guy is neither funny nor sincere.
shimmmernshine- November 10, 2009 at 6:47 pm
i wish fedor would come back here and show demento what those body shots would actually do...
Your Dumb- November 10, 2009 at 6:21 pm
lol.. I can't believe this site has helped Dumbass Demento out...
MGalactic- November 10, 2009 at 6:03 pm
He has a point about going to the body. Now, I wouldn't say "giving it the boot" is the right thing to do, but Fedor's core isn't in tip top shape. Seems like you could take some wind out of him if you focused on the body, using striking similar to the Gomi v. pulver fight.
astroboy- November 10, 2009 at 5:29 pm
I don't think its an act, the guy seems way too a mentally disturbed way
TrouserSnout- November 10, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Can't you guys see that this guy is putting on an act....JEEEZ I thought you guys might be just a bit more intelligent than that....ehhhh....WTF was I thinking....
StYoung- November 10, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Of course, it's easy to figure out how to beat a Soviet inbred, when you're livin' in a VAN down by the river!
Barc- November 10, 2009 at 4:05 pm
I love this video. Why didn't anyone think about kicking him in the stomache as hard as you can? Of course! He'll just fall down and wriggle in pain while I continue to put the boot to his midsection over and over until the ref comes in and... wait, what's he gonna do again? Call me Victor? Why would he call me Victor? My name's not victor. Oh yeah, that means I win? Sure, he can call me Sally if he wants. I just beat FEDOR!!
Clyde- November 10, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I think you guys are giving him a hard time but lets face it. He's got scientific reasoning to back it up.

In the same way genetically, pedophiles have more in common with crabs, than they do with you and me. That's a scientific fact. There's no real evidence for it, but it is a scientific fact.
WeAreAllOneApparently- November 10, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Damian Demento vs Eric "Butterbean" Esch

for the love of god, somebody call Tom Atencio and let him know i can help
LastEmperor- November 10, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Sounds like a lot of loser Fedor haters.
Koeikan- November 10, 2009 at 2:37 pm

That guy made me angry. Forget Fedor, give me a shot at that idiot first.

Usually, the retarded rants of some jerk don't bother me, but he was so far offbase and speaking as if it was fact + his general disposition...

ktfo- November 10, 2009 at 2:36 pm
proof usually means you have evidence.
AussieJosh- November 10, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Damian Demento is a fucking retard!!!
RearNakedPoke- November 10, 2009 at 1:44 pm
I swear to God this is Dan Quinn's Brother from another mother
astroboy- November 10, 2009 at 1:38 pm
This Damian Demento dude is the biggest retard really, I mean seriously inbreeding? And I really doubt that kicking Fedor in the stomach is going to cause any significant damage....on top of it does this guy really think he can "put the boot" to him on the ground? I mean really how much of this do you see in mma? Retard.....