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What Have You Done to Bud Light, Brock Lesnar?

Brock Lesnar Bud Light UFC 100
(Well done, Fightlinker.)

Last night a friend of mine sent me this disturbing report about a downward trend in sales for Bud Light, suggesting that the company might post its first annual sales decline in its 27-year history.  The authors of this article seem to think it’s the wordsmiths behind the “Drinkability” campaign that are responsible, but we know better.  Obviously this is the work of Brock Lesnar.  His anti-Bud Light tirade at UFC 100 (and subsequent pseudo-apology) has clearly turned the American consumer against the brewer, despite Barack Obama’s best efforts.

Hope you’re happy, Lesnar.  With great power comes great responsibility, no matter how effective your choice of chest tattoo is at letting people know that you are not to be viewed as a role model under any circumstances.  Though we should probably just be glad that he didn’t go off on a rant about Condom Depot.  The last thing we need during a recession is an outbreak of Chlamydia and babies.  

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godsloneranger- August 13, 2009 at 12:05 pm
You are hung up on the word "fag". And by the way how did you know about that website? You people are senstive about brock's tattoo. You say its a "f-ing sword. I say it is a penis sword. Lets compromise it's a penis sword! You are so passionate about defending this tattoo. Hey everyone it's not just a sword but a fu_king sword!!! Maybe you should start a new charity PETB thats PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF BROCK'S PENIS TATTOO
glenwo2- August 13, 2009 at 10:06 am
"godsloneranger Says:
Wed, 08/12/2009 - 10:07
@smackdaddiest

I am hung of brock's penis? No I am hung on brock's tatoo that looks like a giant penis that he is squeezing between his double D breasts. I think brock maybe the catholic priest talk to him. I am NOT dumB enough to get a tattoo that resembles a penis. I did'nt mean to offend you by talking about Brock's pee-pee tattoo. "


>>> Dude, you are sad. If you refuse to even see that it's a FUCKING SWORD and instead see it as a Penis, maybe you really ARE a Fag....in which case, may I direct you here : www.glaad.org



"Hey smackmydaddies butt HOW TASTE'E BROCK'S PEE-PEE?"

>>> You're really curious about that, aren't you?
glenwo2- August 13, 2009 at 10:01 am
"godsloneranger Says:
Wed, 08/12/2009 - 09:10
Budweiser is no match for Brock's mighty penis sword. Budweiser didn't want to show the proper respect to the mighty penis sword and pay him, so the wrath of Brock's penis sword, struck, is no respector of persons. No man, or beer can overcome the power of brock's penis sword. Disrespect to Brock's penis sword will not be accepted and if you get brave and try you will suffer the conquenses"


>>> You are such a fudgepacker, man.

Why don't you get up and start singing Y.M.C.A while are at it?




Times Infinity- August 13, 2009 at 1:18 am
One of every two beers drank in the world is a budweiser beer, seriously. I took the tour of the bottling company in St.Louis.
GrimJack- August 12, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Bud Light == bottled post gay butt sex enema
Sneaky Pete- August 12, 2009 at 1:19 pm
I'll take a pint of Guiness! Thank you very much. OBI? What are you drinking?
MMAMoneyLine- August 12, 2009 at 12:38 pm
I think Lesnar should be sponsored by Skoal and PBR.
MKO- August 12, 2009 at 11:33 am
Well said, Sho Nuff. I also feel that the "King of Beers" label undermines democracy. And it tastes more like piss than I like my light beers. Ice cold Coors has the perfect balance of beer, cold, and piss flavor. And its cheaper. And the cans turn blue. I like the science behind it.
ArmFarmer- August 12, 2009 at 11:33 am
Personally I think it all tastes like shit. I know it's an acquired taste or whatever but I've been drinking for almost 10 years and have yet to acquire it. I don't really give a shit if it's bud, miller, or "kurrs light".. as long as it gets me drunk in the end I'll drink it.
cbjerrisgaard- August 12, 2009 at 11:21 am
Luckily all big mass market bs beer is starting to lose business. Quality craft beer that doesn't taste like water with a bit of piss in it is starting to grow. It will never take over the market but it will do a hell of a lot better then it has been. Hopefully less and less people will drink mass market bs from a can.
Mexican Judo- August 12, 2009 at 11:00 am
Agreed!

Miller Lite >>> Budlight

Yo quiero una Meeler bien fria! jaja!
xFenixKnightx- August 12, 2009 at 10:55 am
Miller Lite is the better light beer anyway. Bud is teh suxorz!!!1 :P
Sho Nuff- August 12, 2009 at 10:43 am
The whole "bud isn't american anymore" thing is bullshit. When you say that you are saying the fat, rich, white dickhead who collects the big 12 million a year paycheck is a fat, rich, white Belgian dickhead instead of a fat, rich, white American dickhead. Who cares? He's still a fat, rich, dickhead.

Bud is brewed in America, bottled in America, shipped in America, stocked in America, all employing American workers (the people we actually need to be concerned about when we talk about buying American). A company owned by an American, whose production is done in China, customer service handled in India, and shipping from an EU company, is not, imo, an American company at all.

That said, bud tastes like watery poon and that's why its sales suck.
godsloneranger- August 12, 2009 at 10:19 am
@than

thats ok I don't blame you. Smackdaddist would slup Penis Lesnar's testicles dry, rather than drink anything.
Than- August 12, 2009 at 10:12 am
I'd say their sales are going down because the beer tastes like watered down piss...I guess thats better than straight piss though. I would drink Machida's magically delicious urine over Bud Light any day.
godsloneranger- August 12, 2009 at 10:07 am
@smackdaddiest

I am hung of brock's penis? No I am hung on brock's tatoo that looks like a giant penis that he is squeezing between his double D breasts. I think brock maybe the catholic priest talk to him. I am NOT dumB enough to get a tattoo that resembles a penis. I did'nt mean to offend you by talking about Brock's pee-pee tattoo. Hey smackmydaddies butt HOW TASTE'E BROCK'S PEE-PEE?
Smackdaddiest1- August 12, 2009 at 9:44 am
@godsloneranger

You really are "hung" up on brock's penis aren't you.

Are you a Catholic priest?
NOTSOB- August 12, 2009 at 9:33 am
yah bud light sucks anyway.
miller and coors are better.
Biffmiester- August 12, 2009 at 9:29 am
Like I said on the liveblog for 100, as far as Lights go, I'd rather drink a Miller Light than a Bud Light...and I think I'm not alone. Anyways, I'll stick to my Coronas and Killian's
portland mma- August 12, 2009 at 9:12 am
Micro brews are taking over, no one here drinks nasty ass Budweiser or Budlight. I'd rather drink Pabst then that shit.
godsloneranger- August 12, 2009 at 9:10 am
Budweiser is no match for Brock's mighty penis sword. Budweiser didn't want to show the proper respect to the mighty penis sword and pay him, so the wrath of Brock's penis sword, struck, is no respector of persons. No man, or beer can overcome the power of brock's penis sword. Disrespect to Brock's penis sword will not be accepted and if you get brave and try you will suffer the conquenses
Hexed79- August 12, 2009 at 9:08 am
I think Times Infinity is correct. I know I only buy American when it comes to low-end beer (I'll drink imports when I'm feeling like a beer snob). Obviously that's not a reliable sample, but I know I'm not alone.
ArmFarmer- August 12, 2009 at 9:05 am
Strange.. I would have thought Brock's remarks would have increased their sales as anyone who isn't a dumb wwf redneck probably wants to do anything possible to NOT be like Brock, and anyone who IS a dumb wwf redneck probably already drinks bud light religously.

I fall somwhere in the middle of these two categories.. I can't stand Brock or fake wrestling but I do love me some bud light.
C-Bus Allstar- August 12, 2009 at 9:04 am
"The last thing we need during a recession is an outbreak of Chlamydia and babies."

I lol'd.
Goog- August 12, 2009 at 9:03 am
Same shit happened to Zima when they sponsored the Glorious Ladies of Wrestling.
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