What's Seen Cannot Be Unseen Alert: Promotional Still From War Machine's First Porno
(Make sure you have one of these nearby before you proceed.)
Through the whole War Machine turns to porn saga, we've been holding onto a scrap of hope that this is all just crazy-talk, like when War said he was going to move to the Philippines because he was under the impression that aggravated assault was legal there. Oh, if only. Waiting for you after the jump is photographic proof that the man-child formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver is officially an adult film actor. And now, a moment of silence for our collective innocence...
(Props: Digital Playground via Bloody Elbow)
My God, War. You were so young and hopeful once.
You can follow War Machine's life-updates at twitter.com/WarMachineXXX, where War has revealed that he's already shot with Phoenix Marie ("big ole booty"), and Brandy Blair is next on his hit-list. Also, he really wants to see Boondock Saints 2!
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Comments
Defender Says:
Geezus...seriously!?
I get it...it's covered up. But I do read this site at work, and this picture is way more on the NSFW side than on the SFW side. A link to the picture would have been more appropriate?
C'mon guys.
That being said...lucky him.
El Famous Burrito Says:
Okay that's enough. It was midly amusing at first, but enough of this fuckin' useless toolbag.
I thought we were done with War Machine when he was a fighter. He's not even that anymore so close the damn book on this fool.
ben Says:
@ Defender:
So sorry, man...I had it "after the jump," and everything before the jump erased when I published the post. Not a great moment for that to happen...
whitey Says:
i know what everyone is thinking and the answer is she got them from Payless
whitey Says:
it was a BOGO 1/2 off sale
whitey Says:
@ war machine
black socks?
i mean, really?
Smitty Says:
What a corny look on his face.
G Funk Says:
Ben , what are you apoligizing for???
"Waiting for you after the jump is photographic proof that the man-child formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver is officially an adult film actor. And now, a moment of silence for our collective innocence..."
If this dumbass didn't "get it" before the jump at work then I'd LOL at him all day long if he actually got fired...
steampunk22 Says:
I thought about whether or not to click that link for like a good two minutes. It was worth it, but only for Whitey's payless comment. And even then, only slightly.
onebaldegg Says:
wow! you can't even tell which one is his glass eye! although i would have to say to one looking at the floor is the fake one and the one looking behind him is his real one! i smell a condom! did War Machine just fart? this guy is a ding dong!
spermburger Says:
Damn, that girl looks good. I'm sure there will be haters, but I think we'd all hit it if we weren't all internet pimps.
Miles Says:
Good for him. he officially no longer belongs on this site until he fights some more
youngblood Says:
Hey, War, just to let you know, there are still a few things out there that a shot in the ass of antibiotics won't cure.....Unless that is not the type of shot in the ass you were looking for?
WarpedAcorn Says:
"I've got a bad feeling about this" -Han Solo, before reading the latest War Machine update
Onan Says:
@whitey
She was wearing shoes?
Hell, I didn't even notice anything below the knee!
KarmaAteMyCat Says:
Seriously? A Star wars reference... Fucking ridiculous, Good for war machine he was just headed down a path of poor choices and stupidity anyway. Why not fuck some beautiful women on the way there? I think if you clicked this link while at work VIA warning before hand WHICH I SAW. Not sure how you didn't then fuck you idiot. oh and HAI BEN!
superflat Says:
Dana White was just in a fender bender. Coincidence, or cause and effect?
Dubya Says:
The look on his face tells me one of two things :
1. He is trying extremely hard not to prematurely blow his load at the mere sight of real tits in his face.
or
2. He is trying extremely hard to get and maintain an erection because everyone knows he's a homosexual.
I'm going with #2.. speaking of which.. i need to go drop a #2.
SF RULEZ Says:
All I gotta say is I think war machine always was one of the most attractive MMA fighters. I would only be more happy about this news is if it was GSP or James Irvin and I could see there balls in this picture. Other then that nice scoop CP!
Bob Reilly Says:
I bet he left a skid mark on that nice white couch. What a bastard.
Defender Says:
@Ben
It's cool man, I got the old history cleared out just in case. It's cool that you got it all fixed up tho.
Harry Russo Says:
Good for you Warmachine. Why wouldn't you want to get paid to fuck slutty whores? You hypocrites who talk about dignity then go punch in at wendy's, some random factory, or better yet, live with your parents, are full of shit.
the mocker Says:
that sofa is hideous I mean the cushions don't even match.
Pff I would des... Says:
Dude, seriously, you still have your goddamn socks on.
Nut Puncher 9000 Says:
Its Official...My penis is now only for show.
If I have to read, even a headline, about War Machine again it had better be because he has legally changed his name to "Sex Machine"
Catalyst8487 Says:
Lucky guy. Lucky me too... I just learned of three new porn stars.
ithertz Says:
sorry to be the weird one here, but her feet are f'n enormous
rampageisgod Says:
He banged Phoenix Marie? There is hope for me yet.
Scott_Whitt Says:
Well, War Machine is used to getting mounted so this shouldn't be too far of a stretch.
P.S.
Nice socks Fred Garvin.
for the love of mma Says:
rock on war machine, rock on!!!!!!!!
stax Says:
hows about you just let him get on up and do his thing. you know, like a, like a WAR MACHINE
BeastUnleashed Says:
I am going to watch this porno.
Good job War Machine good thing you arent running over pregnant ladies and having high speed chases on the freeway.
Your Dumb Says:
Spoiler: The scene ends with War Machine having another Jared Rollins moment and starts sobbing.
Redtigershark2 Says:
Coming soon, War and Aaron Brink are going to double team Jenna Jameson in the movie MM in her A.