MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Will You Be Fired After Your Recent Loss in the UFC? [FLOWCHART]


(Yes, Brendan. You certainly *are* a stinker. Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

With their talent roster about 100 bodies over-budget, the UFC has had to make some hard decisions lately. Every fighter who doesn’t win impressively, or lose really impressively, is potentially on the chopping block. Which is why it surprised me today to see that Lavar Johnson will be keeping his spot in the UFC heavyweight division despite suffering his second consecutive loss against Brendan Schaub at UFC 157.

As we all know, Johnson loves to stand and bang. Unfortunately, he didn’t get much opportunity to do either against Schaub, who repeatedly took Johnson down and laid on top of him. The ease with which Schaub executed this “cerebral” game plan suggested that perhaps Johnson wasn’t aware that takedowns would even be allowed in the match. When the dust had settled, Schaub had won ugly, and Johnson had lost uglier.

So why is Lavar keeping his job, when so many others have been cut loose? There are countless factors involved in the UFC’s firing policy these days, so we tried to make some sense of it by putting it into flowchart form. Click the image below to enlarge. We hope this can be of service.

(BG)

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macreadysshack- March 2, 2013 at 5:22 pm
On the subject of Johnson . . . I think the UFC probably sees him as a positive presence because he'll either A. Serve as a litmus test for an unproven quantity fighter to prove the newbs ability to force a grappling game-plan OR B. the fight will end in a brutal highlight reel ass-kicking by Johnson. I see Johnson filling a sort of Neo-Houston Alexander type role. Unfortunately, if Johnson doesn't expand his submission defense beyond PUNCH IN HEAD, he'll be back to regionals in one to two fights.
macreadysshack- March 2, 2013 at 4:55 pm
@fightfan - I think Bisping might fall into the 'Dan Hardy category'. Really, there should be a 'safe' category for any fighter whose hails from an undertapped cultural demographic. This is definitely not a criticism - this flow chart is awesome!
fightfan- March 3, 2013 at 11:41 am
No doubt you are right. He is UFC's UK lottery ticket. He is like Hardy. He's there to get easy opponents, pad his record & build up UK business. If he were from the US, he would of fought a lot more tougher guys & probably would be getting paid about 1/7($50,000/fight) of what he makes now($350,000/fight) and there'd be a good chance he'd of been cut by now
fightfan- March 2, 2013 at 6:24 am
Funny stuff!! I hope they apply this to Michael "The C*nt" Bisping if he loses his next fight. It would be3 loses in last 4 fights. And at $350,000 per fight...he is over paid by about $300,000 per fight.

They could keep around 35 guys at the 8,000-10,000 to show level if they fire just 1 overrated, overhyped, overentitled dbag
HEY- March 1, 2013 at 6:39 pm
BEGONE DEVIL! lol XD
enrikk- March 1, 2013 at 6:24 pm
Amazingly accurate. Awesome job, CP
paskhl- March 1, 2013 at 4:01 pm
Its a nice "exercise" and you did it well!
But,to be honest,I'm sure Dana White himself doesnt have a clue abt why....I mean,he know WHY but theres no way a fighter can know what to do to stay in the UFC (except being a champ).
It seriously doesnt make any sens.Like...lets say GSP's not the champ anymore,ok....Well,in that case,theres NO FIGHTERS out there (WW)that Jon Fitch cannot beat.(I know,he was completely dominated by Maia.But,imo,he underestimated him.Not saying he would win,but he could!)
Amjur- March 1, 2013 at 3:40 pm
Shockingly accurate. Funny shit.
paskhl- March 1, 2013 at 4:08 pm
Yep...you are right!!!
Sadly,its shockingly accurate!And also weirdly funny as well.
Especially when we're talking abt PRO-athletes in the biggest org in the world!!! loll...smh
danomite- March 1, 2013 at 3:15 pm
Did you make this yourself Ben or did you steal this off a UFC executive's desk? If you have room you should add another tangent: Are you a TUF winner?-->yes-->which season?-->one of the early ones-->Dude, why are you even reading this?
SethF- March 1, 2013 at 4:19 pm
Did you make this yourself Ben or did you steal this off a UFC executive's desk?-->Executive's desk-->Does he know you took it?-->He does now-->Your phone should be ringing in five minutes. You probably shouldn't answer it.
mma4ever- March 1, 2013 at 3:10 pm
Right now it seems that the only thing that keeps me comming back is the comment section because its always some funny shit...san drano.but the news on here is stale and old need updates faster because junkie is nonthing but some assholes but there news is likkity split.
Mr_Misanthropy- March 1, 2013 at 8:09 pm
Now you're starting to get it. Sherdog exists for the fight finder, MMA Junkie gives you fresh headlines with half assed writing and an insipid comments section and you can come here to make fun of it all. I think the UG is for people who are good at photoshop?
KungfuJaysus- March 1, 2013 at 2:54 pm
Exciting or not if you win you should have a job. If you lose a lot in a row you should have to go rebuild somewhere until you get invited back. It's not fun to watch boring ass fights but at least it's fair. Bottom line though, it's a business and excitement sells. Just sucks for the guys who are more suited for grinding out boring wins because the first chance Dana gets he will cut you for some bs reason.
Mr_Misanthropy- March 1, 2013 at 2:52 pm
Do you make less than $20 to show and a pint of wold turkey and a crack pipe to win?

There's always a place in Bumfights for a warrior like you.
Shifty-Eyed Dog- March 1, 2013 at 2:46 pm
you forgot a "NO" option from the drug suspension question.
Shifty-Eyed Dog- March 1, 2013 at 8:26 pm
I see it's fixed now. You're welcome.
Shifty-Eyed Dog- March 1, 2013 at 2:47 pm
and the YES option from the $50k to show isn't labeled.
painvelasquez- March 1, 2013 at 2:27 pm
Nice! It fits for most if not all recent UFC firings. Good job.
Fried Taco- March 1, 2013 at 2:24 pm
You forgot a note at the top stating if you are Leonard Garcia, you do not need to read this.
biohazardone- March 1, 2013 at 1:56 pm
DUDE!!!! This is awesome! Now every UFC fighter knows what to expect. You should send this to Dana and have him pass it out to all employees...especially new fighters. Or maybe use as part of the New Employee Packet. ;)
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