Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

With Her Original Opponent Injured, Cris Cyborg to Smash Fiona Muxlow at Invicta FC 5

(“Oh hey, didn’t see you there. When my doctor first informed me that I would be getting murdered by Cris Cyborg this April, I had lots of questions; Is there anything I can do to prevent getting murdered? Would bringing a friend to the fight help my chances? Why me, God, WHYYYY?!“) 

It has recently been announced that Cris Cyborg’s originally scheduled opponent for her Invicta FC debut on April 5th, Ediane Gomes, has been forced to withdraw from their Invicta FC 5 bout with a rib injury. It’s a real shame, because as someone who used to beat up dudes on the Brazilian underground fight circuit (Fallon Fox’s doppelganger, if you will.*fires invisible pistols*), Gomes was being given more than a snowball’s chance in Hell against Cyborg, a privilege few of her opponents have been able to enjoy.

But now, stepping in on short notice against the former Strikeforce women’s featherweight champ will be Fiona Muxlow, a 6-2 grappling specialist out of Queensland, Australia. Originally scheduled to face Julia Budd at the event (who is now awaiting a replacement opponent as of this write up), Muxlow has not competed since dropping a first round armbar to Marloes Coenen at DREAM 18 on New Year’s Eve last year, snapping a three fight win streak in the process.

Although Muxlow is coming off a loss — one she was utterly dominated in at that — and lacks any notable victories, one should look beyond the numbers to see what this woman is truly capable of. For starters, she began her MMA career by submitting three straight opponents in a one night tournament, so we know she’s a finisher and has cardio for days to boot. Secondly, Muxlow has a poker face that will burn a hole right through your soul. That HAS to count for something in this topsy-turvy world, dammit.

Now that Invicta will be implementing “random” drug tests in the near future, does anyone give Muxlow a decent chance against Cyborg, or should we just start prepping the hospital bed?

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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Mr_Misanthropy- March 20, 2013 at 11:50 pm
She's carrying her latest conquest back to her cave to have her way with it. What happens in the outback stays in the outback.
Jake- March 20, 2013 at 1:17 pm
I think she looks a little more like Mama Fratelli than sloth
The12ozCurls- March 20, 2013 at 12:46 pm
Damn, until I read all the comments about Muxlows face, I didn't notice she looks just like Sloth's long lost sister.

amsterdamheavy- March 20, 2013 at 12:37 pm
Holy shit - stick her head in a pile of dough and make gorilla cookies
Lockefan- March 20, 2013 at 11:13 am
Is Fiona Muxlow the girl on Louie Anderson's shoulders in the picture?
cagestokerblog- March 20, 2013 at 11:04 am
Breaking: Cyborg will now fight rising star Fiona Muxlow of Townsville, Queensland Australia (Where there's even less likelihood of her being tested for steroids) in a featured featherweight (145 pounds) bout at the Invicta Fighting Championships women’s world championship doubleheader. SMH!
El Guapo- March 20, 2013 at 11:04 am
Ah hah! My dear Watson(Danga), to crack the case I discovered some eggs were... let's say they were cracked ... to create the female Aussie champion. Not eggs of the omelette variety, either.
You see, it seems our Fiona Muxlow was born none other than one Fat Belly Frank!(gasp)
Elementary, my dear Danga. Elementary.
danomite- March 20, 2013 at 10:32 am
now THAT'S a mean mug! My money is on Muxlow
DARKHORSE06- March 20, 2013 at 10:07 am
Why doesn't Cyborg fight Fallon Fox? Those guys could duke it out to see who the number 1 tranny is.
The12ozCurls- March 20, 2013 at 9:30 am
Does that mean they have to re-re-re-re-PhotoShop the Invicta FC 5 promotional poster?
Fried Taco- March 20, 2013 at 9:11 am
Australian, eh? She probably thinks it can't be any worse than wrestling crocs.
danomite- March 20, 2013 at 12:25 pm
YEAH TACO, ya dumb-ass. What kind of idiot would wrestle a shoe?
cagestokerblog- March 20, 2013 at 11:06 am
Australia (Where there's even less likelihood of her being tested for steroids)
cagestokerblog- March 20, 2013 at 11:05 am
Australia is to avoid roid testing you dumb-asses.