Trying to interview Nick Diaz is a lot like trying to help an elderly person use the self checkout machine at the supermarket. It’s a test of patience and will, and a part of you knows that you never should have gotten mixed up in this to begin with. But, if you keep at it, as Ariel Helwani does in this video, you’ll eventually reach the point where all the groceries have been scanned and bagged, even the produce, and your new friend will smile at you around wrinkled eyes and ask, ‘Who do I make the check out to?’ That’s when it all feels…worth it?
Though at times it seems like Diaz would rather be doing anything else than answering Helwani’s questions, we do eventually get some answers that help us further understand his bizarre and often openly contradictory world view. For example:
– A decision should not be decided by takedowns. It should be decided by who was winning at the end, and who would have won if the fight would have continued indefinitely.
– A decision should be decided by who looks more "fucked up" afterwards. Even if you tapped the guy out but got your ass beat, you still got your ass beat.
- Nick doesn’t use words like ‘excited.’
– You can’t land big fights by just getting in someone’s face and calling them out. If you could, though. Oh man.
– Aside from Diego Sanchez, Nick did not lose any of those fights in the UFC. Not really.
– Nick does not envision the fight against Marius Zaromskis ending. At all.
Yep, that about covers it. Is it weird that Diaz’s rambling, distracted remarks do nothing to dampen our near freakout levels of excitement for this fight? Maybe. But it’s our kind of weird.