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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

WTF?! of the Day: Bigfoot Silva Attempting Cut to LHW to Fight “Mentally Sick” Thiago Silva


(“God, I could so go for an eclair right now-NO! FIGHT IT, BIGFOOT! PUNCH THE HUNGER AWAY.”) 

We know, we know, not a goddamn word in that title makes sense.

Let’s run a hypothetical scenario by you: You’re a 6’4”, 285-pound, acromegalic UFC fighter. Your head is the size of a Ronco Showtime Rotisserie & BBQ and your fists were the models upon which Hulk Hands were molded. Being that you’re Brazilian, you also have an eternal blood feud with another UFC-employed fighter/camp that can be traced back to ancient blood drawings on the Pico da Neblina.

So your enemy of all enemies finally gets back from his most recent suspension and picks up an impressive win inside the octagon. You could use a nice win yourself, being that you were just knocked out by your division’s champion for the second time (in a year) in your last fight. However, the 70 pound weight advantage you hold over your foe all but rules that option out. Do you a) Needle the shit out of the guy until he agrees to fight you at a catchweight or b) Try and settle things on the streets — no gloves, no rules, ala Rocky V.

Well, if you’re Antonio Silva, the answer is c) attempt a suicidal weight cut to get to that sonofabitch, who in this case is light heavyweight Thiago Silva (via FightersOnly):

I personally will attend the doctors to see if I am able to lose weight without spoiling my health. If can do it, I will drop weight to make this fight for sure. All I want to do is just fight him because words won’t make him change.

And why exactly does Bigfoot want a piece of Thiago Silva so bad he can taste it (and it tastes a lot like rice cakes)? The answer is simple: Thiago Silva broke his heart.

I had so much respect and consideration for him at one time. Besides being a good training partner, I had him as a friend. When he had a problem at ATT, I was the only one who was on his side until the end. 

I used to visit his house and he did mine, I was something of a brother to him and he simply stabbed me in the back and cheated me. He said I’m upset because he left ATT, but he knows its not because of that why I’m mad.

He’s mentally sick, we’re completely different people. I am a family guy. I respect my father, mother, wife, I treat my friends well, without pulling their legs, and I don’t take drugs.

While that last statement is certainly up for debate, we’d just like to meet the doctor who deems it’s safe for Silva to drop the equivalent of a baby Percheron to settle a grudge. If Cris Cyborg is medically unfit to cut from 145 to 135, and “Bigfoot” already cuts some 20 pounds just to make the heavyweight limit, he better hope the on-duty doctor is Hector Molina or his revenge fantasy will be dead in the water before it can even set sail.

How is Silva taking all this, you ask? Like a true gamesman, he combined a little bit of option A and B.

Tell that big fool to come over here then we will see what’s what. For me it’s OK but, he talks a lot that guy, he is stupid. I don’t like him at all. Anytime he wants, man, especially if its for money! We can even do it for free, let’s go.

I would fight him whenever he wants. I trained with Bigfoot for three years. Ask him what he ever did to me. He was beaten like a little dog.

-J. Jones

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Gobbleston- June 12, 2013 at 9:33 am
There are no rules that state that you need legs at the time of weigh-in. I'm also looking at you two, Pat Barry and Cro-cop.
Mr_Misanthropy- June 11, 2013 at 11:10 pm
His head will cave in.

http://deadspin.com/5694479/half+headed-man-takes-worlds-most-bizarre-mugshot
Jesus Frijoles- June 11, 2013 at 3:29 pm
He would look like a starving catfish, all head and no body. Monkey knife fight indeed. Let's thunder dome this shit and settle who's the real Silva. Of course we would have half of Brazil in the tournament.
Fried Taco- June 11, 2013 at 2:42 pm
I dunno, sounds like a lovers quarrel to me. It should be settled in the bedroom, not the cage.
RearNakedSpoon- June 11, 2013 at 2:14 pm
Will this weight cut involve shaving all this bones down to the size of a normal humans?
The12ozCurls- June 11, 2013 at 1:55 pm
@EFB

You're on a god damn roll with this topic.
El Guapo- June 11, 2013 at 1:10 pm
"Hiiiiii everybody!"
Bigfoot should hit up Dr. Nick
The12ozCurls- June 11, 2013 at 12:42 pm
IF Bigfoot cuts 80 F**KING pounds, James Irvin (looking like a starving alien) would no longer have the worst weight-cut photo in the history of MMA because Bigfoot would no doubt look like a bobble-head on a stick.
El Famous Burrito- June 11, 2013 at 1:13 pm
He would look like a candy apple.
algiersheadkick504- June 11, 2013 at 12:10 pm
Big foot is on drugs no doubt
coolsnow7- June 11, 2013 at 12:00 pm
Burrito's comment HAS TO WIN A TSHIRT
El Famous Burrito- June 11, 2013 at 11:46 am
UFC 200 coming to you live from international waters. Silva vs Silva
Silva vs Silva
Silva vs Sylvia
Monkey Knife Fight
dwfx- June 11, 2013 at 11:39 am
Gold, just gold.
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