regret gifs
15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

‘WTF?!’ of the Day: Waylon Lowe Suing Philly Sex Shop After Gel Permanently Disfigures His Junk


(“On second thought, I’ll just take your word for it…” – Guy on the Left)

Horrific penis injuries: They’re the new injured foot of MMA injuries.

UFC veteran Waylon Lowe has made his way back into headlines the hard way today, as he is suing The Mood – a sex shop on South Street, Philadelphia – for selling him a product that has permanently scarred his genitals. Of course this is how the unfortunate bastard manages to finally get MMA fans talking about him again, because why wouldn’t it be.

Assuming you haven’t already skipped to the comments section to unleash your best one-liners, you can read details about the product he used and the injury itself [NSFA] after the jump.

Via Philly.com:

ONLINE ADS SAY the tingling, minty, green gel makes lovemaking last longer. “Prolongs Men’s Pleasure,” the packaging promises, beneath a photo of a handsome man staring seductively at prospective buyers.

But a famous fighter [Author Note: Famous? That's rich.] says the Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm Prolonging Gel was far from pleasurable, and instead burned and scarred his genitals so badly last fall that he remains permanently disfigured and dysfunctional.

Michael Waylon Lowe, 32, of Southwest Center City, a mixed-martial-artist who competes internationally, has sued the South Street sex shop where he says he bought the gel, and the product’s California-based creator [Author Note: Is it based in Los Angeles?], seeking more than $50,000 in damages, according to a lawsuit filed in Philadelphia Common Pleas Court.

“This is a very private, but very significant loss for a man who is very vital in so many other aspects,” said Lowe’s attorney, Thomas R. Kline. “This is a man who literally makes his living avoiding injury; he knows how to protect himself. Yet he wasn’t provided with the most basic, simple instructions to protect himself from this product. If it could happen to him, it could happen to anyone.”

“Instructions to protect himself from a lubricant?” you may be wondering. “How exactly did he injure himself?” If you really must know…

In the complaint, filed May 14, Lowe claims he had used the desensitizing gel previously without problem. And when he applied it last Sept. 1, he and his fiancée began lovemaking without incident. But when their 3-year-old daughter awoke, the fiancée interrupted their intercourse to attend to her, according to the lawsuit.

Before she returned, Lowe “began to experience excruciating pain and pressure in his penis,” the lawsuit states. “He removed the condom and his penis swelled significantly. He sought emergency medical treatment and follow-up care thereafter.”

The complaint accuses the defendants of negligence and product liability for failing to provide proper instructions, warn users of risks, and design and test the gel to ensure its safety.

It claims that Lowe suffered “catastrophic and permanent damage,” including penile scarring, loss of sensation and function; nerve and tissue damage; humiliation, embarrassment and mental anguish; lost wages and earning capacity; and loss of life’s pleasures.

Not one part of that description didn’t make me feel absolutely terrible for Lowe. I wish him a speedy recovery; or rather, whatever recovery can be made after losing the enjoyment of sex. Lowe was last seen picking up a victory on the WSoF 2 undercard – his fourth straight victory since being released from the UFC – so at least it doesn’t sound like he’ll have to miss any time from MMA.

Naturally, the creators of the gel maintain that their product is safe, and that this is the first instance they’ve ever even heard of this happening to somebody. Also, for what it’s worth, The Mood is still selling the non-mint versions of the product on their website. Caveat emptor, you guys.

@SethFalvo

Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

comments
Sort by : Show hidden comments
crappiefloper- May 23, 2013 at 1:18 pm
http://modblog.bmezine.com/wp-content/uploads/200608021910-pix2.jpg
hmm...
SethF- May 24, 2013 at 1:42 pm
Holy shit that's not safe for anyone forever
crappiefloper- May 23, 2013 at 8:31 am
If there's one thing a 3 year old knows how to do, it's cockblock.
crappiefloper- May 23, 2013 at 8:03 am
i dont even know where to start! talk about a target rich enviornment. his lawyers statement is priceless!
Fried Taco- May 23, 2013 at 7:31 am
Both Bryan Caraway and Brett Atchley are suffering from loss of sensitivity, but you don't see either of them suing people about it.
google- May 23, 2013 at 6:33 am
Fallon Fox is fucking pissed right now. Think of the money he could have saved by just buying this gel instead of flying to Tialand to get his dick chopped off.
algiersheadkick504- May 23, 2013 at 6:17 am
Wow..that's like an amrriccan pie scene
2Dogs- May 23, 2013 at 2:24 am
"Not one part of that description didn’t make me feel absolutely terrible for Lowe" you can say that again, wow, this plain wrong....and probably sent a few folks running to the bedside drawer to see wtf they got in there...I hope he manages to recover. poor dude.
Kimbo Lesnar- May 22, 2013 at 9:21 pm
Prolonging gel? And he is suffering from loss of sensitivity?? That is like free prolonging gel FOR LIFE, yo!

Probably a downside I am not seeing though...
Pen Fifteen- May 22, 2013 at 7:00 pm
I think if my ding-dong got permanently messed up, I'd be suing for way more than $50k.
teep- May 22, 2013 at 6:53 pm
Well he protected his fiancee with a condom, at least he got that part right!
creepy- May 22, 2013 at 6:31 pm
Gimme a break. He's just trying to hide the fact that he was sparring with Cheick Kongo
The12ozCurls- May 22, 2013 at 6:24 pm
@Mr. Falvo

Because PRIDE
kbebee- May 22, 2013 at 5:33 pm
Waylon Lowe was wailing low, it seems....
SethF- May 22, 2013 at 5:31 pm
@12

I didn't bother fishing for details on his junk. If you want to ask him...
The12ozCurls- May 22, 2013 at 5:28 pm
If this WASN'T masturbation related, wouldn't the chick be suing too. I mean, her cooch now looks like the God damned Sarlacc Pit, but she is NOT getting litigious. Sounds fishy *rimshot*
Jesus Frijoles- May 22, 2013 at 10:17 pm
I think you mean smells fishy, but the only thing smelling like fish now is maybe his finger.
CagePotatoMMA