Good Lord, where do we start with this one. Cody McKenzie needs little introduction: He’s the grubby-looking guy from Alaska with the good guillotine who went 3-4 in the UFC at lightweight and featherweight, and wore a pair of basketball shorts with the tag still attached during his last UFC fight against Sam Stout, because he left his real shorts at his hotel and was hoping to return the shorts to Foot Locker after the fight, I guess?
Following his UFC dismissal, Cody McKenzie — because he’s insane — took a 180-pound catchweight fight against a dude named Mark Dobie up in British Columbia, and won by first-round submission. Tomorrow, he’ll be competing in that Battlegrounds MMA eight-man welterweight tournament called by Chael Sonnen and JR. Today, McKenzie came in at 172.4 pounds on his first weigh-in attempt, so he went backstage, HAD A PINT OF GODDAMNED BLOOD SUCKED OUT OF HIM EW EW EW and made the 171-pound limit on his second attempt. McKenzie will be facing Brock Larson in the tournament’s quarterfinals.
I have no idea how this was allowed to happen. “Battlegrounds MMA One” is going down in Tulsa, Oklahoma, a state that has an actual athletic commission, which was supposed to be taking extra precautions to ensure the safety of the fighters in this potentially grueling single-elimination tournament. Were any commission members around while Cody was doing this? And for God’s sake, what did they do with the blood? Please tell me they didn’t just pour it down the toilet, where it could potentially affect the Tulsa water supply.
Cody McKenzie has never been the picture of health, but I have a feeling he might look especially bad tomorrow night. Stay tuned…