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XARM Heavyweight Championship Will Make You Feel Better About Your Life, Worse About Society

Do you know what today is? Yes, it’s Wednesday, November 19. But in the history books it will be remembered as the premiere of the XARM Heavyweight Championship. Finally!!!

For those of you who missed our earlier mention of XARM, where we appropriately grouped it with dudes breaking things and a monkey doing pushups, XARM is the brain child of UFC co-creator Art Davie. It’s also pronounced “ex-arm,” though I admit I’ve been calling it “zarm” when mocking it to my friends and family. But now they’ve put together their own heavyweight tournament, premiering today on Ripe TV, complete with several XARM “Boot Camp” episodes. So basically, I’m in no danger of running out of material for mockery.

The idea of XARM is that it combines arm wrestling (which, let’s face it, peaked in popularity with “Over the Top”) and a really lame, stationary version of MMA. The two men are tied together, sometimes with duct tape, then they punch each other wearing MMA gloves. If that sounds like the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard, then congratulations, your brain works properly.

In the press release announcing the heavyweight championship, Art Davie calls it “the most intense 3 minutes in sports.” Really makes you glad this guy isn’t still running the UFC, doesn’t it?

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AlphaDog- January 4, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Yup! You beat me to it. Kimbo vs Machida I would love to watch! Make it happen XARM!
0 0 Reply
Dolemite- November 19, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Bunch o pussies! Check dis out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpgmacdG_yc

Yeah!
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Impartial bystander- November 19, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Just for pure entertainment value, this actually looked kinda cool to me. Obviously no skill involved or anything like that but if I was drinking beer and this was on TV, you bet your ass I'd watch it. I think they should leave any references to MMA out of it though. What can I say, I love watching people beat the living crap out of each other - and I'm betting they're counting on a bunch of people feeling the same way as what I just wrote.
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ballzak- November 19, 2008 at 1:33 pm
whoever green lit this abomination should be put to death. give them aids and then have a sick kid puke in their mouth...the slower and more painful the better.
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Dolemite- November 19, 2008 at 10:42 am
I have an idea they could follow up this with. TWO MEN TRY TO DO PUSH UPS SHILE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER or TWO MEN TRY TO MAKE HOMEMADE STEW WHILE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER. Horrible idea.
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Derly- November 19, 2008 at 7:44 am
Why not just tie them to the table and not tie their hands together? Put an electrice fence behind them, and the only place to go is forward. While you're at it heat the floor below them to a point where it's like walking on hot asphalt during the summer. That will mostly be just uncomfortable for people.
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...- November 19, 2008 at 2:32 am
mma rejects and linemen who couldnt make a practice squad we have found a place on tv for you...

if this lasts more then 1 episode on tv, the human race is doomed...
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Anonymous- November 19, 2008 at 2:13 am
Anonymous is soooo tru, if this is a real sport this is a joke. Its just insult MMA and making it look bad.. its no better then shots for shots when ur drunk just dumber cause ur not drunk.
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Dolemite- November 19, 2008 at 2:07 am
I can't believe they found more than one guy who thought this was a good idea. WTF?
0 0 Reply
MKXii- November 19, 2008 at 12:49 am
"Nowhere to run!"
Why do people keep coming at Kalib Starnes? I mean he tried his best.
0 0 Reply
Jay Smith- November 18, 2008 at 9:34 pm
@ CubicalGangster
Funny as a mufucka!!!!.............and ditto.
0 0 Reply
Hurricane- November 18, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Kimbo Slice...meet your future
0 0 Reply
NealTaflinger- November 18, 2008 at 7:41 pm
As soon as he put on that Under Armour T he knew he had to protect this house.
0 0 Reply
Over the table armbar guy- November 18, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Fedor aint shit to me. Come to my x-house clown, and get a schoolin in the deadly arts.
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Lodz- November 18, 2008 at 7:24 pm
That was hilarious. I was literally drinking a glass of milk when i was watching that and sprayed milk out my nose all over my keyboard when I saw the over the table armbar.
This has got to be one of the most retarded things in the history of television, a medium which is basically the equivalent to huffing paint.
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Dru Down- November 18, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Was this actually sanctioned by a commission, or did they have to resort to holding it in international waters?
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bun- November 18, 2008 at 6:41 pm
its entertaining to see what couple of mma rejects would do wen they can't compete
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LukeTheDuke- November 18, 2008 at 5:30 pm
LOL ARMBAR.
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Brian- November 18, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Once Sub Zero. Now just plain zero!
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Green River- November 18, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Oh...God... This must be the last sign that heralds the end of the world
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Terjay- November 18, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Oh hell-fucking-yes :D Get Machida in there.
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richorama- November 18, 2008 at 5:09 pm
"when i turn my hat around, it's like a switch"
0 0 Reply
CubicalGangster- November 18, 2008 at 5:06 pm
someon please ask Dana White what he thinks, and thats probably what i think
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Anonymous- November 18, 2008 at 5:02 pm
if you look at it less as a sport and more as big guys PUNCHING EACHOTHER IN THE FUCKING FACE it seems entertaining. It's a real dumb idea but who cares, if survivor can make it as many seasons as it has then I'm sure this will do just fine.
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PenisLuvr- November 18, 2008 at 4:59 pm
I think a better idea would be to tape their cocks together, and then see who can slap the other the most times with a oily rubber cock. THAT i would watch! Talk about an exciting three minutes!
0 0 Reply

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