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Xyience Founder Demonstrates The Importance of Paying Taxes, Not Cheating UFC Fighters


(Bad news.  That check you’ve been waiting on for three years now?  There’s a chance it’s not really "in the mail" like they said.)

As many of you probably overheard during brief moments of consciousness on the floor of your favorite bar, yesterday was April 15, also known as Tax Day in America.  It’s when we all file our taxes and then complain about having to do so, as if it doesn’t happen every single year.  But what happens if you don’t file your taxes? Sometimes nothing.  Sometimes, as in the case of Xyience founder Russell Pike, a lot of really bad stuff.

You might remember Pike as the guy responsible for the failed Xyience empire.  He’s the fraud/mastermind that a bunch of unpaid UFC fighters want to kick in the face.  According to an indictment filed yesterday in Las Vegas, he made “in excess of” $6.9 million in 2006 and did not file an income tax return.  Like, at all.  The cajones on that guy, am I right?


The indictment also contains other details of the high life Pike was living for the brief time before Xyience went tits up and left everyone from Rich Franklin to the Fertitta’s holding the bag.  My personal favorite is the 2007 Mercedes Benz SL55 that he bought for $151,614.000.  That just doesn’t make any sense to me.  I mean, you could have yourself a whole fleet of matching Kia Sportages for that kind of money.

Pike’s free on his own recognizance at the moment, but if the IRS nails him on everything he could do five years in the joint – a fate even the Fertitta’s can’t save him from this time.  That could spell doom for his latest business venture, “a powdered energy drink company called Zizzazz.”  And I was so looking forward to seeing that Gray Maynard Zizzazz commercial during the next Spike TV Fight Night.

Kind of related but also hilarious: Connie Has Lots of Energy

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Goober- March 1, 2010 at 6:14 am
she's hot. but that energy drink is making her sweat like a pig.
ScrambledEggs- June 27, 2009 at 9:26 am
I'd lay some pipe to that bitch.
Anonymous- April 18, 2009 at 10:34 am
Monica should be one of the UFC's ring girls. I always thought that was the hottest commercial ever when they used to show it a couple years back.
KTFO- April 18, 2009 at 4:08 am
Why doesn't that chick turn on the AC or something? It look hot in that room.
Edith- April 17, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Worst promo shoot eva! This stuff causes explosive flatulence. As seen on TV. Two arm chairs and a dozen girls went up in smoke before we were done filming. Give me my Crystal Lite!
Anonymous- April 17, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Xyience is DANA WHITES FAULT AS WELL AS THE FERTITTAS!! THEY STOLE THE COMPANY AND MADE ALL THE SHAREHOLDERS LOSE EVERYTHING. EVERYONE SHOULD STOP READING WHAT THESE PEOPLE WRITE BECAUSE THEY ARE MISSING ALL OF THE FACTS OF THE STORY. THE UFC AND THE FIGHTERS ARE BACKED BY A BUNCH OF LAME ASS PEOPLE AND DANA WHITE IS A GAY HOMO WHO BENDS OVER AND TAKES IT UP THE ASS! THATS WHY HE GETS MAD WHEN PEOPLE CALL HIM GAY! DANA IS JUST MAD CAUSE THE UFC IS GOING BROKE AND SO IS HE THE FERTITTAS ARE GONNA TOSS HIS ASS OUT OF THE DOOR SOON!!!! ALSO IF THE FIGHTERS WERE ANY GOOD THEY WOULDNT HAVE TO GO OUT AND GET ACTUAL JOBS! AND THE FERTITTAS WERE LEFT HOLDING THE BAG BECAUSE THEY FORCLOSED ON A LOAN THEY MADE AND TOOK THE COMPANY OVER SO ALL OF YOU ASSHOLES CAN THANK THEM FOR UFC FIGHTERS AND SHAREHOLDERS NOT MAKING ANY MONEY! READ THE TRUTH NOT SOME BULLSHIT!! YOU FUCK TWATS! IT WAS A HOSTEL COMPANY TAKEOVER AND RICH BERGERON AND SO MANY OTHERS ARE JUST TRYING TO EXTORT PEOPLE AND THIS STORY IS SO LAME AND BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION
TheONE- April 17, 2009 at 8:36 am
Yeah, she does, BUT A FKN SEXY ONE!!!
Cap'n- April 17, 2009 at 7:55 am
"...2007 Mercedes Benz SL55 that he bought for $151,614.000." Was that $151,614.000? What are you guys, a gas station? You keep track of thousandths of a penny?
skull- April 17, 2009 at 7:04 am
I miss Xyience! I used to drink it all the time. It made me feel incredibly tough, especially when I wanted to be an Internet tough guy. I felt so strong that I was sure I could crush the keys with my fingers.
Not a TUF Guy- April 17, 2009 at 6:53 am
CAPS LOCK HAL is just mad because his Mom made him clean his room today and he didnt get to watch SpongeBob in his jammies...
Danal White- April 17, 2009 at 6:44 am
Ah yes... UFC approved revisionist history.

For those who care, look up Rich Bergeron on the net.
He did a 45min interview with the homos from Fightlinker on this topic and actually has balls.
If you want the Amapourized version, then by all means dont read up on it and rely on ass kissers to tell you the UFC branded truth.
Anonymous- April 17, 2009 at 6:40 am
Does anyone know if this cunt is a model or porn slut?
Jay Smith- April 16, 2009 at 10:53 pm
@ CAPS LOCK HAL
Are you mad bro?
CAPS GLOCK FAL- April 16, 2009 at 9:17 pm
BLAM! POW! RAT-TA-TAT-TAT!BANG BANG BANG!!!
capirnakus- April 16, 2009 at 8:57 pm
its not his fault he bought the book "tax returns for dummies, fuck em" by weslie snipes
Chuck's jaw- April 16, 2009 at 8:20 pm
The girl is Monica McGrew, for those interested (TUF Guy and HAL can ignore this info).
CAPS LOCK HAL- April 16, 2009 at 7:59 pm
YOU FAGGOTS! ALL YOU CAN DO IS TALK ABOUT THAT CHICK AND SO MANY FUCKING FIGHTERS LOST OUT ON A TON OF FUCKING MONEY AND HAD TO WORK FULL TIME JUBS. YOU COCK SUCKING MMA NOOBS DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS AND HOW BAD THIS TYPE OF SHIT IS FOR THE SPORT. YOU GOD DAMN IDIOTS MAKE ME FUCKING SICK! NONE OF YOU SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO POST ON HERE UNTIL YOU PASS SOME SORT OF IQ TEST FIRST. ESPECIALY YOU PURPLE PICKLE YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THE FAIR TAX INITIATIVE. NUBES!
K.E.G.- April 16, 2009 at 7:55 pm
The saddest part about all of this is that fucking commercial is the shit. I've been in a room with like 20 people watching an event on spike when that commercial comes on everybody shut the fuck up and just stared at it.

Still don't know one person who bought the shit though.
yo Im'ma Eatin Them PretZels- April 16, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Who's that friggin babe? She's too friggin hot. I'd eat her vag for shizzle my wangzle.
BDub- April 16, 2009 at 7:18 pm
When they put a woman that hot on a poster they may as well not have anything else on it. Took a conscious effort to notice the energy drink. Damn, just something about those goth looking chicks that just kill me.
Anonymous- April 16, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Zuffa is responsible for this they owed stock in Xyience it was their company.
PurplePickle- April 16, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Fair Tax, Fair Tax, Fair Tax. Then these dicks will pay their share and everybody will catch a break. Oh, and energy drinks are not a substitute for performance enhancing pharmaceuticals. Don't cheat yourself people, for the price of three energy drinks a day you get a cycle of really good gear. The results will be way better and the health effects will be the same.
Dmonicideals- April 16, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Wow oatmeal, what an amazing comment. It is refreshing to see peopel with common sense nowadays, errrrr, wait, you didn't say shit. Nevermind then, yer just another fucking idiot.

Shocking that a guy who could drive a UFC sponsor into the ground? Not really. What is shocking is how many people buy this energy drink bullshit. Keep spending 5 buck on those red bulls, i'm sure you will be the LHW champ in no time, likely about 5 minutes before you die from mouth, throat, and stomach cancer.
Poo Flinger- April 16, 2009 at 4:16 pm
From now on when every I file my tax return, I find myself wishing I were a failed bank (or insurance company, or automaker, or....)
skidding- April 16, 2009 at 3:34 pm
The chick in the xyence pic above looks like an inhabitant from King Kong's Island.
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