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Here's What Happens When Strangers Draw Your Selfies

Yep. Bob Sapp Still Sucks.


Props: IronForgesIron.com

When we announced that ONE FC’s second event would feature professional publicity stunt Bob Sapp fighting against UFC veteran (sigh) Rolles Gracie, we offered you a question about the fight: Bad idea, or worst idea? On paper, this meant pitting a one-dimensional, subpar kickboxer fighter impersonator against a one-dimensional grappler. Factor in the complete lack of cardiovascular endurance that both men have exhibited, and we were in for an ugly affair.

Well, that fight went down today in Jakarta, Indonesia. And it was everything that you expected it to be.

After going 0-7 in kickboxing and MMA in 2011, Bob Sapp decided that he needed to change his traditional game plan of “start out strong, get tired, get knocked out”. This time around, Bob Sapp attempted to start the fight early during yesterday’s weigh ins. Like the obese guy who orders medium fries with his twenty piece nuggets and large milkshake instead of large fries, we guess we can applaud him for at least changing something.

From that point on, it’s a typical Bob Sapp fight: He manages to do absolutely nothing before Rolles Gracie transparently attempts a takedown that almost immediately puts Sapp on his back. To his credit, “The Beast” managed to get out of an ankle lock in the opening minute. Of course, it would have been far more impressive if he managed to do something other than give up after eating three, maybe four punches from Rolles Gracie. But did you really expect this fight to end differently?

Congratulations, Rolles Gracie: You’ve improved to 6-1 in your MMA career, with all victories coming by first round submission. Likewise, congratulations, Bob Sapp: You’re still getting paid for a job you don’t even pretend to take seriously. We should all be so lucky.

Comments

  1. Pen Fifteen Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 10:34


    I don't understand why Sapp doesn't just stick to pro-wrestling; huge guys usually aren't expected to do more than hit power moves on little guys, which typically requires minimal effort or athleticism. Here's a gimmick idea: black Undertaker.
  2. amsterdamheavy Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 10:44


    Bob Sapp is an inspiration; I mean, Im pretty sure my relatively unskilled ass could grab a W off him at this point.
  3. RoJoegan Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 11:04


    To add to @amsterdamheavy, again and again, Sapp helps me to not fear giant dudes. Thank you!
  4. Anhonestmoose Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 11:15


    On wikipedia it says Bob Sapp won a kickboxing fight this year, by tko (self made leg injury). That is the unluckiest guy ever.
  5. SethF Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 11:22


    ^ I thought about mentioning that in this article. But honestly, until I see a video of that, I refuse to accept that it happened.
  6. Anhonestmoose Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 11:38


    Yeah, I can't imagine what he did to piss off the fight gods that much. Self made leg injury? What distinguishes that from a regular leg injury (such as Patrick Cote, Corey Hill, whoever else)?
  7. frenger Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 11:41


    the best bit of this video is where the ref claps and it makes a fireball that explodes into the on-screen graphic. awesome.
  8. J. Jones Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 11:58


    *Jeff Foxworthy voice* When your film cameos last longer than your fights...you might be Bob Sapp.
  9. bootystar Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 12:56


    if Bob started wearing RED shorts I could see a lot of pastors supporting him, I grew up with it I would know
  10. Buster Hyman Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 03:14


    hey its his month he can do whatever the fuck he wants
  11. XENOPHON Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 04:07


    El Guapo Says: Fri, 02/10/12 - 12:13 (Wesley Snipes looking, Mitt Romney sounding)"In other news, a massive fire broke out in the Mid-Wilshire district late last night. Nobody was hurt in the incident at Break Media headquarters west of downtown, and authorities suspect arson may be the cause of the suspicious blaze. "GRIN" was found written near the main entrance in what was apparently human feces. More on the story as it unfolds. Now, let's go to Summer Sunshine with weather. Hey there, Summer, you wet down there? OUT there! Is it wet out there?" ............................................................................................... ...and how the hell do you know it wasn't Bob Sapp, especcially after you invited him here as a guest, then clown on him all the time? GRIN
  12. XENOPHON Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 04:15


    Oh yes fuckers...and I saw that. How did you get the covert camera pointing at my log in screen? Xenophoo - FROWN
  13. pinkyslayer Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 06:32


    can someone please explain what the hell bootystar's comment about the red shorts meant?
  14. Anhonestmoose Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 07:02


    @pink no one ever knows what the fuck bootystar is talking about. I kind of get the feeling that's what he's going for.
  15. Australian Mantis Says:

    Sat, 02/11/12 - 09:57


    Bob Sapps crazy Japanese ads were soooo much more entertaining than that effort, still if he gets a shot in on you and gets the mount i would proberly shit myself....
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  18. KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike Says:

    Mon, 02/13/12 - 05:00


    I miss the old Bob Sapp
  19. scrambled eggs Says:

    Mon, 02/13/12 - 05:45


    I met Bob Sapp once outside of a restaurant in Seattle. I sneezed, he fell to the pavement and started tapping. True story.
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