MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Your Daily Dose of Awesome: Quinton Jackson’s PSA for BGD

Anyone who has kids can tell you that it seems no sooner are you finished shelling out a wad of cash on one-and-done Halloween costumes then you’re being bombarded with Christmas wish lists from those little money pits, chock-full of useless and annoying toys that you can neither afford nor should ever consider giving to a child if you are the least bit sane. And before we can even sit down to a nice Thanksgiving meal that eventually erupts into a heated argument over why they let Chaz Bono compete on Dancing With the Stars, former UFC light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is here to remind us all that the gifts we do receive will likely be worse than even our pathetic standards could have predicted.

Bad Gift Disorder, or BGD, is a fake disease that has afflicted more people worldwide than Restless Legs Syndrome and TBA combined, and according to Rampage, “can end relationships, destroy homes, and even wreck the environment.” Upon hearing this, Al Gore immediately published a full report proving that BGD would erode the Ozone layer within the next three years unless everyone buys a hybrid car. And I’m sorry Mr. Gore, but I just don’t care enough about the environment to be caught dead in one of these Doug Funny clown cars.

Now, I know math isn’t exactly my strongest suit, but could someone please explain to me what the hell “8.92 and 1/2 seconds” is? That can’t be a real figure…right? Right?! Curse you, Upstate New York school systems, for your blatant lack of insight in this field.

Though there is no cure for BGD outside of giving a shit, which, let’s be honest, most of us gave up on since reading the news, Rampage states that “98 percent of bad gifts are 103 percent preventable.” So it is to you, Mr. Jackson, that I must ask, does the 6 pack of Red Bull and deluxe edition DVD set of The Secret I bought for my 6 year old nephew count as giving a shit?

-Danga

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chzhqq- November 20, 2011 at 7:27 am
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zhangaaaa- November 19, 2011 at 5:01 pm
http://is.gd/ZblC2s
Tobi-Wan Kenobi- November 19, 2011 at 10:20 am
Danga, i think you should be able to joke about anything you like. It's just that people who suffer from RLS hear that bullshit on the daily. It's not a real disease, it's made up, it's just laziness, and it gets really old. I appreciate just about every other joke you make, and i get sensitive around this shit.
XENOPHON- November 19, 2011 at 10:12 am
DangadaDang@
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How much was Quinton paid by Boost Mobile (Sprint) for that commercial?
DangadaDang- November 19, 2011 at 9:11 am
And I here I thought the CP army was known for its tough skin and sense of humor...
Chromium- November 19, 2011 at 6:28 am
Outside of this website, RLS is at least as real as UFC press credentials. Kind of fitting how you all don't get either right now.
Tobi-Wan Kenobi- November 19, 2011 at 5:12 am
RLS is real, i have it. So, f you for making fun of it.
lenoz- November 19, 2011 at 2:33 am
TUF recap. Honestly, it's interesting.
myklhoey- November 18, 2011 at 10:02 pm
my girlfriend gave my best freind some head last year
i thot that was a bad gift to give him,
ummm once i gave some homless dude a vhs movie, that was probally a bad gift with no place to watch it and all
umm oww this girl gave me somethin that made peein really painfull,
o ya i bot my anarexik sista a $50 subway giftcard, she looked at me crazy, antha bad gift
Phattousai- November 18, 2011 at 8:45 pm
Yea, and while you're researching that fake disease you should research your Nicktoons too. His name is Doug Funnie, not Funny. GAWD!
DangadaDang- November 18, 2011 at 8:41 pm
^
lolz.
willie416- November 18, 2011 at 6:14 pm
I know this is supposed to be funny and most of it is. But, WHY do you have to include Restless Legs Syndrome in a sentence that talks about fake disorders? That is an old joke, NOT funny. Severe sleep deprivation, that goes hand in hand with RLS is in no way amusing and it ruins lives every day. Think about that te next tine you think that you are being funny. The link for Restless Legs Syndrome that you provided in your article leads right to the RLS Foundation, which is very real, helping millions of people. And, they are certainly not the only source. I have had RLS since I broke my back, and I am not laughing. It is a neurological
disorder and it has just been proven that the part of the brain that controls movement is a real cause for this. do some reading PLEASE.
frndlylion- November 18, 2011 at 4:10 pm
It ain't rocket science.


That was hilarious!!!
macreadysshack- November 18, 2011 at 3:27 pm
it's either 8.925 or 9.42 - I can't decide which.
lenoz- November 18, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Where the hell is the TUF episode recap? For the first time ever I have something interesting to say about it, and so you don't publish it. This is not ok.
intercept440- November 18, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Ben Mike Jason.. you guys here all that shit that quentin said???
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i better be getting my fucking free CP t-shirt this year for x mas you cheap fucks!!!.
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103% preventable
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