Once again, our boy ZombieProphet over at IronForgesIron has come through with an awesome bit off MMA related goodness to help your work day along. Today, we have the musings of Mustache King, life advice expert, and former UFC fighter Don Frye from yesterday’s Halloween themed episode of Inside MMA.

Donning the most appropriate Halloween costume imaginable in Magnum P.I., Frye provided us with more gems in a minute than most of us can come up with in a lifetime:

On retiring from MMA: “You get to the point where you retire after every match…the only person who’s retired more than me is Terry Funk.”

On the general temperature of the Inside MMA set: “It’s a little cold in here. My lucky charms are freezing.”

On a particularly nasty cut: “It looked like he was hiding underneath the bleachers of a tampon factory.”

On attractive women: “…saw some girls so beautiful, I’d drag my pecker through a mile of broken glass just to stand in the shadow of the last guy that banged her.”

On his epic mustache: “It takes me about an hour to shave it off each morning.”

On other top mustaches: “You got Sean Connery…you got Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, Sam Elliot, and I think old Nancy Grace has got a heady one there, too.”

Will someone get this man a broadcasting job? Surely the UFC has room for him somewhere. And speaking of mustaches, don’t forget that if you want to be a part of our Movember festivities, then today is the day to shave them son’ bitches off! Ladies too!!

-Danga