27 Signs You’ve Been an MMA Fan Too Long

Tapout Family

You know you’re a true MMA fan when it starts to negatively affect your work, health, and personal relationships. Check out our latest list below, and let us know which ones apply to you. Props to Buzzfeed for the inspiration.

1. You roll your wrists while blasting “Sandstorm” before every job interview.

2. Kimbo Slice is your favorite professional boxer and Tank Abbott is your favorite author.

3. You used to drive 25 miles to the nearest video store that carried bootlegged copies of King of the Cage events. Now, you complain because there are too many free UFC events on cable.

4. You shout “IIIIIIIIIIT’S TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!” before every act of sexual intercourse…

5. …and you find yourself trying to pass guard when you’re in the throes of passion with your lady.

6. You remember when Dana White was a skinny, balding dude with a Boston accent and teeth like a jack-o’-lantern.

7. Whenever some asshole at the bar starts giving you trouble, you threaten to beat him into a living death.

8. You once put your toddler down for a nap using a RNC.

9. You refer to any middle-finger gesture as a “Stockton Heybuddy,” even when the finger isn’t attached to a Diaz brother.