The Top 10 Worst MMA Nicknames Ever
#10 (tie): Chris "The Polish Hammer" Horodecki, Peter "The Dutch Lumberjack" Aerts
Though it has a long, proud history, the nationality + noun combination is always a risky move when crafting a nickname. If it's "The Polish ____" it can end up sounding like the setup to a joke. (i.e., "You hear the one about the Polish Hammer? They use it to pound fingernails." Or something like that, but much funnier.) With any other nationality, like "The Dutch ____," it can end up sounding like a deviant sex act. Marcus "The Irish Hand Grenade" Davis gets a pass because hand grenades are badass.
Yes, he's suspiciously well-built, and yes, "shark" almost sounds like "Sherk," especially when delivered in a thick Yooper accent. The problem is, there's no such thing as a "muscle shark." Believe me, I've done the research.
Is it because his capillaries are all burst from chronic alcoholism or because he's constantly getting punched in the face? I'm not sure I'd stake my reputation to either one.
#7: Elvis "The King of Rock N Rumble" Sinosic
Get it? It's because his name is Elvis! And how effective is "Rock N Rumble" as a competitive martial art? Well, judging from his record, I'd put it somewhere between Kuialua and breakdance-fighting.
#6: Frank "Twinkle Toes" Trigg
I actually don't have a problem with this. Frank's a limp-wristed sissy, and he freely acknowledges it. He's owning it, y'know?
#5 (tie): Brad "The Hillbilly Heartthrob" Imes, Eric "Ravishing Red" Schafer
If you reference your handsomeness in your nickname, not only are you a conceited douchebag, but you're also neglecting your target audience. Do you know how many women watch MMA? Like, none. So who are you trying to seduce, exactly — that big lug on the other side of the cage? It's very, very questionable, that's all I'm saying. Bas "El Guapo" Rutten gets a pass because he's Dutch and he chose a Spanish nickname, and whatever Bas does is aces in our book.
#4: Tamdan "The Barn Cat" McCrory
Sure, "The Barn Cat" is ridiculous, but you have to admit it's a lot better than McCrory's original nickname, "The Shed Pussy."
Oh, for the love of God. As lame as this nickname is, you know that Waterman must have thought he was the cleverest dude on Earth when he came up with it. I've never seen Ron fight, but I can only assume that the announcer introduces him as "Ron, two molecules of Hydrogen reacting with one molecule of Oxygen Man, WATERmaaaaan!"
#2: Jorge "The Naked Man" Ortiz
This would be #1 if not for the fact that "The Naked Man" actually works from an intimidation standpoint. "Bill, good news, I got you a fight. It's on March 25th against a greased-up nude Mexican. Three five-minute rounds, and...you there, Bill?"
#1: Vladimir “The Janitor” Matyushenko
No. Unacceptable. You can't be an Eastern European immigrant and call yourself "The Janitor." For future reference, these names are also off-limits: Maria "The Hotel Room Cleaner" Rodriguez, Jacob "The Penny Pincher" Steinberg, and Samir "The Convenience Store Clerk and Part-Time Customer Service Specialist" Patel.
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10 Worst MMA Nicknames Says:
[...] Potato.com ranked its “Top 10 Worst MMA Nicknames Ever” in a recent blog and without question, they found some doozies. #5 (tie): Brad “The Hillbilly [...]
bella Says:
Am I crazy or does "HTwenty-Man" look like a young, short haired Terrence Gene Bollea?
notbella Says:
lol, bella isnt the brightest light on the marque. it's not "HTwenty-man" it's H20MAN like H20 as in Water. seeing how his last name is waterman and he doesnt look like terrence gene bollea
ito tortiz Says:
Why not "The Huntington Beach Bad Boy"? It's a stage name for a stripper.
jess Says:
how could they not mention Joe "J-Lo" Lauzon?????!?!?!?
that is a super faggoty nickname if i have EVER heard one...
gimmeabreak Says:
You are an idiot. Most of them are good nicknames. I would like to see your 10 best mma nicknames.
Example Says:
I have not problem with Ravishing red
Marc Says:
"The Shed Pussy" nickname made me spit my water everywhere. That was a good laugh!
Your Mom Says:
Matt "the Terra" Serra is the worst nickname ever.. Unless we are talking about terra-ing something to keep him outta fighting Matt Hughes.
alsonotbella Says:
What about Rory Singer's old nickname? Version 2.0? That was lame. Should have been on here, possibly even number 1.
Ivan Says:
Hi, my name is disman-kl, i like your site and i ll be back ;)
Cormac Says:
"J-lo" Lauzon should be up there. Jorge Ortiz just became my new favorite fighter.
mmagirl Says:
this was hilarious! awesome site...
Red Says:
Haha, you are correct, my nickname is terrible. But as a pastey, average-looking, ginger kid, I decided to make up a stupid nickname to have a little fun at a smaller show. It stuck, and now I am forced to keep the horrible moniker.
I nominate anyone called The "insert regional adjective" Assassin for their lack of originality.
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Kaz Says:
Ravishing Red is a great nickname....you sir are a douche bag!
Gonzo Says:
Bella: hahaha wow i can't believe no one is burying her for that comment. "htwenty", come on!
dty Says:
This guy is just jealous.
MG Says:
Muscle Shark...
how about steroid man or small balls.
miguel Says:
In spanish "el guapo" also refers to a brave or tough man, when someone is courageous he will be called guapo.
Science man Says:
it is not 2 molecules of hydrogen reacting with one molecule of oxygen, they are atoms, not molecules
david Says:
where is the peoples warrior josh burkman, that is the worst nickname ever
ol'pappy Says:
it actually pissed me off a little bit when I saw H20man. that is just terrible, you could have at least used "the waterboy" and conjure up images of Adam Sandler
Seth Says:
man "the janitor" is an awesome nickname, i dont know wtf yall are talkin about, I believe you guys wrote this without doing any research at all because theres way worse nicknames out there, though i do agree with you about "muscle shark," that shit is gay, but "the janitor" is a great nickname, because janitors clean up, get it?
Anonymous Says:
Sean Sherk was originally given his nick name by the Japanese media when he fought in Japan and that is how it stuck it wasn't his choice in the first place
Anonymous Says:
yeah, the peoples warrior sucks, he isn't my warrior.....
Anonymous Says:
the best nickname is CB "Launchpad McQuack" Dollaway
SOG knives Says:
SOG knives...
Interesting ideas... I wonder how the Hollywood media would portray this?...
missalexlee Says:
hahaha. but i agree i think 'the janitor' is a good name. sure haha i mean i get what your saying about the whole 'wow thats racist!' part hahaha. but he picked it, so it shows he's got a sense of humor. and the fact that he's 'cleaning up the mess' that just sounds bad ass to me. :]
JohnRoger Says:
Red nose is a breed of pitbulls..............
Erik Says:
I dunno what you guys are thinking. The Janitor is an awesome nickname. What you should have put at #1 was H20man. Now THAT is terrible.
Ashley Says:
While I find "The Hillbilly Heartthrob" and "Ravishing Red" ridiculous, I would like to say that girls DO watch MMA.
Gleb Jolie Says:
What about "The Dentist"? Forget the guy's actual name, but that's pretty lame. When was the last time people lost teeth in an MMA bout? (except for Karo losing a veneer against Diego Sanchez, which doesn't count.) You can practically rule out all professions unless they're pretty obviously tough. Janitor, shoeshine boy, parking attendant, regional sales manager...
Worthy of the Top 10 Says:
WEC fighter Logan “The Pink Pounder” Clark.
Wow. Just wow. Not as bad as H2O man, but still.
shizznitt Says:
"The Janitor" is actually a great nickname because he's taking out the trash.
CagePotato.com: A One-Year Retrospective | MMA Fight News - Says:
[...] The Top 10 Worst MMA Nicknames Ever [...]
a girl Says:
i'm 21 and i am a sexy bitch who loves mma so there's at least one female fan for ya.
Anonymous Says:
everyone is sexy behind the internet there pal.
Anonymous Says:
Hey!! I'm a girl and i watch MMA!!
(Not to mention I fight, too.)
Candice Says:
Hey...Im a chick and I watch MMA.....like every night! Douche!!
:D
Anonymous Says:
look the "ho bag" on sherdog, thats the worst mma nickname ever
shizznitt Says:
The janitor just means he's taking out the trash.