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And Now He’s Fired: Future POTUS Jacob Volkmann Becomes the Latest Victim of the Obama Unemployment Crisis

(In an even stranger turn of events, it was revealed that Vollkmann was actually required by law to wear that shirt whenever he was within a half mile of a playground.) 

My God how the time flies. You might not have realized it — mainly because he is the type of fighter that screams “Facebook prelims” — but outspoken Minnesotan (new band name, called it) Jacob Volkmann has been fighting for the UFC for upwards of three years now, and has collected an impressive 6-4 record in the promotion. Outside of the octagon, Volkmann gained notoriety over the years for once threatening to rip off President Obama’s arm and subsequently receiving a visit from the Secret Service, an incident he would parlay into hundreds of thousands of tens of dollars in hideous, neon orange t-shirt sales.

But unfortunately for all of us Tea Party-supporting, lay-n-pray aficionados, Volkmann’s avant-garde experiment that dared combine the gripping excitement of wrestling clinics with the comic stylings of Neil Hamburger has come to an end, at least for now. Volkmann announced earlier today via his Twitter that he has been cut by the UFC following his loss to promotional newcomer Bobby Green at UFC 156: 

Volkmann’s loss at UFC 156 was his second in his past three fights. Combine that with Volkmann’s somewhat lackadaisical style and you’ve got yourself all the justification you need to send him adrift. However, ”Christmas” also stated on his Twitter account that the decision to cut him was that of Joe Silva’s, not Dana White’s, which means that Volkmann more than likely turned down a fight recently.

After starting his UFC career with a rocky 0-2 run in the welterweight division, Volkmann made the drop to lightweight in 2010 and put together five straight victories before getting caught in the patented Sassangle at UFC 146. Volkmann would rebound from the loss with his strongest octagon showing at UFC on FX 5, where he would score his only UFC finish by strangling WEC veteran Shane Roller inside of the first round.

Volkmann’s subsequent loss to Green at UFC 156 dropped him to 6-2 in the lightweight division. Meanwhile, Leonard Garcia still has a job despite losing his last 4 UFC contests. It just goes to show that “entertaining in defeat” will always trump “boring in victory” in the UFC. Not exactly a terrible business model if you ask us.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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jolyqw- February 22, 2013 at 11:04 am
as Manuel answered I am surprised that you able to profit $7849 in one month on the computer. did you see this web page
Jon Fitch and Exciting in the same sentence- February 20, 2013 at 11:40 am
Wow, Fitch has been released? For realz? As much as I hate to watch the guy fight, I'd hate to see anybody lose their job. It was pretty obvious that he was the Number 2 WW for the past five or so years, so the UFC couldn't really cut him. But I guess the loss to Maia proved that unless he was #2, he might as well be #1000.
deadw8- February 20, 2013 at 11:39 am
Can honestly say Volkmanns cut didn't surprise me or make me think twice but yeah really on fitch? Especially since hes been a more entertaining fighter than before, or atleast trying to be until Maia fitched the shit out of him..
edbig98- February 20, 2013 at 11:18 am
Yeah, they cut Fitch too...WTF?
jcv1986- February 20, 2013 at 11:01 am
Yeah that's shitty all these cuts. It had to happen,with all these strike force guys and such. One thing I can't understand is Jon finch that guy still has
some fight left.
dipsetkilla316- February 20, 2013 at 10:45 am
Don't care about volkpenis side note Jon Fitch released from UFC!!!!!
SKK BB- February 20, 2013 at 10:37 am
Fried Taco- February 20, 2013 at 9:22 am
And not a tear was shed...
ReX13- February 20, 2013 at 9:20 am
SethF- February 20, 2013 at 9:51 am
I'm supposed to be at the DMV, but instead am wasting time on that website. THANKS, REX!
Fried Taco- February 20, 2013 at 9:24 am
Thanks for the chili is the best one! Tim Sylvia liked it, too!