CagePotato Comments of the Week: Blockhead Chuck, Boring Jake
We feel just awful that we don't do this every week, but you guys deserve some CagePotato t-shirts for all the hard work you've been putting in lately. The first honoree is Brooklyn-based artist Patrick Francisco, who e-mailed us some MMA-themed highlights from his body of work, including the above interpretation of Chuck Liddell painted onto a vinyl toy. We thought it was worth sharing, so thanks Patrick.
As for the rest of the winners, we'll just pick a few of the recent comments about how boring Jake Shields is. (Ed. Note: CagePotato.com doesn't necessarily agree that Jake Shields is a boring fighter, but we can appreciate a good one-liner.) Here we go...
Bob Reilly on "CagePotato Stats: Active UFC Fighters With the Most Decisions":
Jake Shields lay and pray makes him an honorary muslim.
Jake Shield's father ejaculated on some shag carpeting in the 70s, 9 months later, little Jake was born.
MoTropolis on "Sarah Kaufman Has Had Enough of This Bullsh*t": Jake Shields is so boring, the census bureau hung up on HIM.
Ascerendant on "Report: Tito Ortiz Will Face Matt Hamill at UFC 121, Not Forrest Griffin":
Jake Shields is so boring even Tito couldn't find an excuse for it
Jake Shields is so boring, when he weighs in the scales are more interesting to watch than him.
ghostboner on "Report: Tito Ortiz Will Face Matt Hamill at UFC 121, Not Forrest Griffin": Jake Shields is so boring they play Barry Manilow during his fights to keep everyone awake.
Kid Clam Curtains on "Report: Tito Ortiz Will Face Matt Hamill at UFC 121, Not Forrest Griffin":
Jake Shields is so boring he offers donkey rides into it.
What do you call Jake Shields with no arms and no legs? Boring.
If your name has been called, please send an e-mail to contest@cagepotato.com with your name, address, and size, and we'll get a shirt out to you ASAP. Thanks for the laffs, you guys...
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Comments
2DaDeath Says:
This is messed up.
Everyone steals my joke, and i don't get any credit for it. That's some bullshit right there. I guess that's what i get for making fun of MRuss's fauxhawk and weezer glasses.
Videodrome_NOW Says:
Apparently Shields isn't boring enough to stop talking about him.
danomite Says:
I wouldn't be taking credit for those if I were you 2dadeath. Those were god awful. Except for Bob Reilly that is, and he had a third one that I thought was better than the shag carpeting one but it didn't get put up there. If you want terrible jokes about Jake Shields being boring then here ya go:
Jake Shields is so boring his wife tried faking an orgasm once during sex but she couldn't because she was already asleep.
Jake Shields is so boring Doctors write out prescriptions for his fights to Insomniacs. Side effects may include depression, suicidal thoughts and/or actions.
Jake Shields is so boring it's understandable that Strikeforce didn't use him in the hype reel for the Dan Henderson fight. Seriously, Dan Henderson vs. TBA (blank silhouette) is a more sellable fight than Dan Henderson vs. Jake Shields
Jake Shields is so boring that if he won the WW belt it would bankrupt the UFC (true stuff is the funniest, i hear)
for the record I don't think Jake Shields is that boring. Definitely more exciting than Jon Fitch and more exciting than watching Anderson Silva run away from grapplers.
ReX13 Says:
2DaDeath >> Maybe you've missed out on a shirt, but nothing compares to starting an enduring meme on CP. Props.
justscrappin Says:
Bob Reilly and motropolis's were good...the other ones were just aight.
2DaDeath Says:
@ Rex:
True. I guess i'll have to learn how to take pride in that...
steampunk22 Says:
@Rex13
Agreed.
Also, wow am I ever absent on CP these days! ;)
justscrappin Says:
Don't feel bad Steam...at least you're better then our absentee father...the fucker doesn't even send cards on our birthday anymore.
El Famous Burrito Says:
This is the best CP meme since Pedro Martinez vs. Don Zimmer II.
Since it's on the internet, it's true.
Viva Hate Says:
Old dad doesn't call or write anymore since he found a new family. New dad is verbally abusive. CP is dysfunctional family, at least we can use that as an excuse for the behavior of some people on here.
El Famous Burrito Says:
I suspect that if any of us turned up at the Fan Expo booth, we'd be told to "go cut me a switch" by a man in glasses with a mostly-empty bottle of Wild Turkey.
justscrappin Says:
Yeah...and he would make sure that switch was thicker then his thumb.....but back to the meme....I love that the thread topics that we invaded with the jokes...have nothing to do with Jake...lol.
Viva Hate Says:
All we did was try to earn his love with macaroni art pictures of our favorite fighters but he was too busy drinking his Rebel Yell and Old Grand Dad to accept us. Maybe we should start listening to emo to rebel against new dad, ya that’ll show him.
2DaDeath Says:
^ that's the genius part about the Jake Shields joke. It's applicable to any topic.
justscrappin Says:
The other funny thing...was that it kinda spun off us making new nicknames for Lytle. We were already on our "beat a deadhorse" grizzy with the Lytle nicknames...then you mentioned the Jake Shields shit...and we ran with it. Like Lee Murray to Morocco.
El Famous Burrito Says:
Yeah! I'm going to quit hockey practice and drive the Zamboni right through the garage door, then run off and join a Canadian gang of Affliction-wearing bikers.
justscrappin Says:
I'm surprised that Affliction hasn't started producing leather vests now that you mention it.
El Famous Burrito Says:
or chaps.
2DaDeath Says:
Speaking of Affliction...
I was having dinner the other night with my girlfriend and who should be sitting right behind? Rampage Jackson. Wearing an affliction t-shirt with his name on it in that fancy lettering they use. I was considering asking him if i could take a picture with him, but then my girl reminded me that i always root against him in every fight, lol!
Sabado Gigante Says:
Jake shields is so boring:
I'd rather go back to talking about Martinez/Zimmer II
herb137 Says:
whats with the chicken and the monkey?
El Famous Burrito Says:
In Soviet Russia, chicken choke you.
justscrappin Says:
I guess it's one of the artist other pieces...but it is out of place...no?
2DaDeath Says:
Yeah, it took me a second too, herb.
There's a chicken and there's a choke. There's a monkey losing a fight. Getting spanked is another term for losing a fight. If you still don't know what that means, go look thru your dad's playboys for about a half an hour and see if you don't have a desire to lock yourself up in the bathroom.
justscrappin Says:
Oh man!....I wasn't even thinking about that shit.....that shit is Guiness brilliant!
justscrappin Says:
I'm going to be honest though....that's not a monkey...it's a Gorilla * pulls a hair off head....splits it down the middle with a cheese slicer*
ReX13 Says:
El Famous >> +1
El Famous Burrito Says:
@justscrappin
You sure, man? It kind of looks like an Animaniac to me.
justscrappin Says:
Yakko? or Wakko?...we are really showing our age here....."okay lady."
KarmaAteMyCat Says:
Jake Shields is so boring I'd rather jerk off with sand paper then watch him fight.
I don't think Jake is boring to watch though so.. we'll see.
Viva Hate Says:
Jake Shields is so boring I’d rather have a girl give me the gobstopper then watch his fights.
Jake Shields is so boring I’d rather recreate 2 girls one 1 cup with Whoopi Goldberg and Betty White than watch one of his fights.
Jake Shields is so boring I’d rather watch War Machine’s porno then any of his fights.
Jake Shields is so boring I’d rather watch any interview by or of Tito Ortiz than one of his fights.
Kid Clam Curtains Says:
:cheers:
El Guapo Says:
WE did it Bob Reilly. We did it..
My t-shirt size is anything from medium to extra medium. Ship it!
El Guapo Says:
Jake Shields is so boring I Googled "Jake Shields is so boring" and, sure enough, a link to Tater Nation came up. Then my computer went to sleep.
justscrappin Says:
Jake Shields is so boring...I would rather watch KarmaAtemycat train for his "fight" then watch Jake fight a mongoose, cobra, and a komodo dragon...all at the same time while they took methamphetamines and ran a train on snookie from jersey shore.
so just to recap
mongoose, cobra and komodo dragon fighting each other while taking meth and banging snookie=mad exciting
mongoose, cobra and komodo dragon fighting each other while taking meth and banging snookie + Jake Shields..=boring
El Famous Burrito Says:
Jake Shields is so boring it looks like he got Buckwheat in a headlock.
No, wait...
Jake Shields is so boring folk exercise by joggin around her!
Dammit! Let me try again...
Jake Shields is so boring he still owes Moses a dollar!
I'm terrible at this...
StinkFacer Says:
Jake Shields is so boring he can make the audience tap out.
Jake Shields is so boring his highlight reel is used to treat ADHD.
Jake Shields is so boring he's sponsored by Tylenol PM.
Jake Shields is so boring his highlight reel is used to anesthetize surgery patients.
Jake Shields is so boring HE falls asleep watching his own fights.
Jake Shields is so boring his fight dvds come with a free sample of Folgers.
Jake Shields is so boring coma patients have woken up to the video, and insisted on being put back down.
BLAM! Wheres my shirt at?
justscrappin Says:
Stinkfacer....a few of those are recycled.
StinkFacer Says:
lol i dont usually read comments, new to the site and didn't know these guys gave things away for funny comments.
WrenJoRo Says:
Jake shields me from entertainment....oooohhh play on words right there.. thank you thank you.
justscrappin Says:
lol....you totally redeemed yourself. We are all swag-whores. We come for the enlightening coversation.....and stay for the swag-whoring.
2DaDeath Says:
Jake Shields is so boring...
air is free.
Or maybe that's the answer to: why do Jews have such big noses?
StinkFacer Says:
Im hispanic, we can never turn down free shit.
ReX13 Says:
This post's comments have overtaken the post's funniness.
El Famous Burrito Says:
Jake Shields is so boring so the blind can hate him too!
There we go....
2DaDeath Says:
Jake shields is so boring...
Gorillas in the mist.
StinkFacer Says:
Jake Shields is so boring I rather personally give Roseanne Barr liposuction with a soda straw than watch him.
Videodrome_NOW Says:
Jake Shields is so bor..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
El Guapo Says:
Jake Shields is so boring a Mexican Jew wouldn't watch him fight for free..
My t-shirt size is medium to extra medium. Thanks
2DaDeath Says:
Jake Shields is so boring...
karmaatemycat eats dick.