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Chael Sonnen Thanks Dana White for the Gravel in his Gut and the Soda in his Fridge

(Props: MMA Payout)

Despite his decision victory over Dan Miller at UFC 98, Chael Sonnen must be a little worried about getting dropped from the UFC again because he decided to dedicate a little video time to kissing as much of Dana White’s ass as he can possibly get his lips on inside of four and a half minutes.  Seriously, does Sonnen think a video asserting his almost cult-like loyalty to the UFC is going to save his ass if he loses a couple fights?  Because it won’t, dude.  Dana will still drop you like a bad Pinkberry if it seems convenient.

It’s one thing to thank your employer for the paycheck, but Sonnen stops just short of declaring himself an indentured servant to the UFC.  The fact that they’ve already fired him once and will almost certainly do it again at some point in the future?  Doesn’t even matter to Sonnen, because that cell phone in his pocket and soda in his fridge wouldn’t even be there if not for the genius of Dana White.  If only the UFC prez would hurry up and write that book on business that Chael can’t wait to read.  Maybe somebody should tell him that Warren Buffett kind of already has written a book on business.  On second thought, nah, let’s leave him with his illusions.

Cagepotato Comments

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Phenylalanine- June 2, 2009 at 3:41 am
soda + stomach gravel + brown nose = huge explosion
Dirky15- June 1, 2009 at 7:33 pm
@ tysonmcneely - what incredible insight you have. Someone is worth more, so they must know more. Excellent point. Since Lil' Wayne is worth somewhere in the high tens of millions, we should value his business acumen over anyone worth less. Good logic.

During your obviously careful reading of my previous post in which I marginalized Warren Buffett by saying he was an 'incredible mind', you may have also missed the point that there is a difference between someone who is investing in other businesses, and one who is actually running a business themselves. Warren Buffett has had an incredible investing strategy, some fantastic timing, and some very good luck over the years. He is certainly among the best investors and fund managers in history, and a case could certainly be made that he is the best. But the best *business mind* in history... I don't think he even registers among those who have built and run their businesses from the ground up. Wall Street does not create and run anything. They hedge their bets on others that actually do those things. I have nothing against Wall Street investors, and some of them like Buffett show some incredible brilliance. I have read a few of his books on investing. But if I were to read a book on building and running a business, I' like to hear what Dana White has to say. He isn't the only person adept at this, but he would certainly have some very interesting ideas.
Fuckyerfrat- June 1, 2009 at 4:50 pm
I'd just like to thank Dana for paying Demian Maia to choke this tool with his balls sitting on his chin.
ironmike33- June 1, 2009 at 3:20 pm
this guy is obviously an inferior fighter, and more importantly a douche bag. This ass kissing rant makes no sense, he generalizes everyone like himself. Of course, for him you have to be loyal and ass kiss but for someone like gsp, BJ, Anderson or even moderately good guys like Kongo, Florian or shogun, why would they ass kiss when they can get great offers elsewhere? If you go by Chael then Tim Sylvia is considerd a sell out for goin to Affliction banned making what he made for 1 fight where it would have taken him 5+ fights in the UFC. Dana Dana Dana Dana ahhhh shut it Chael, youre gonna get cut anyways.
Richard Fitzentite- June 1, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Funny, I used to think that Chael was a bit of a free thinker and exremely well spoken. I've never agreed on everything he says, however I thought that he at least had some good points.

Now I'm seeing a nut hugging lunatic. I wonder if he has ever lectured his homeboy Matt Linland on this theory? I really have no clue why he thinks he owes something to Zuffa, the guy is also a commercial real estate agent...I guess the real estate market has all but evaporated for Chael.

I'm also curious if he thinks that signing away your likeness is a super good business oportunity?
tysonmcneely- June 1, 2009 at 1:55 pm
dirky15, yeah you're right, you know so much about business. Warren Buffet is worth about $37 Billion (After he started giving a lot of it away to various charities) and Dana White is worth about $100 Million tops. (Fertittia brothers are worth $1.35 Billion including casinos and we all know Dana owns 10% of UFC, so this figure is generous.) So would you go with the guy worth 370 times more?

And yeah, you're right the MMA business is way harder than value investing. There's no competition when it comes to investing, I mean who does that? Not like the Multi-Trillion dollar MMA industry.

No ones is saying that Dana is a bad businessman, but Don't marginalize the greatest business mind in the last century, if not ever.
tysonmcneely- June 1, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Hey, Chael just knows the real estate business is slow now.
Justin- June 1, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Oh yeah, they're going to get rid of Chael cuz he can't beat the top guys in his weight class. They should just go ahead and fire everybody but Anderson Silva if they're going by that philosiphy.
Badger- June 1, 2009 at 1:07 pm
While I agree with Chael's perception of the employee/employer relationship, it is not that simple when it comes to athletes with unique and extraordinary talents. I am grateful for the career that I have, but that's because anybody else could do what I do. The vast majority of us non-fighters absolutely could not (either physically or mentally) fill the role of a fighter, (i.e. getting four teeth knocked out and walking out for Round 2). I am physically fit and athletic, but I am no comparison to these guys.

Am I the only one who was embarrassed for Chael during this video? I felt kinda bad for Wandy after he lost to Liddell and was muttering 'my life is in your hands' over and over to Dana as if Dana was gonna give him the slow thumbs-down a la Jaoquin Phoenix in The Gladiator. Chael just took it to the next level.
Art Gibs- June 1, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Based on the long-winded response, yes, Dirky15 is Sonnen. Both Sonnen and Dirky15 took way too long to express a simple idea: Dana White is a god and an amazing businessman, and UFC fighters owe him everything.
TheHuytonHandGrenade- June 1, 2009 at 12:17 pm
is dirky15 chael sonnen undercover?
TheHuytonHandGrenade- June 1, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Sad video, next time i have no shit roll left ile call up chael cus this man gets real deep in the arsehole
Dirky15- June 1, 2009 at 11:54 am
Why is everyone getting all over Chael for stating it exactly like it is? Unlike these other athletes, Chael has run a small business and understands what free market business success is all about. CagePotato even gets it wrong in misunderstanding his about Warren Buffett and Dana White had competing books, whose he would read. In Sonnen's scenario, I would choose Dana's book also. Buffett is an incredible mind, and has been very successful at choosing which businesses will succeed over others in overall industry, and thus which to invest in. But Buffett has never built and run a company like Dana White. Buffett merely is a Wall Street guy, who gambles on the successes of real businesses that actually create products and the marketplace for them. Buffett's business exists because of real business men that create something, not the other way around. If you want to see exactly the problem with Wall Street types trying to oversee an economy, look right now at the Bernanke/Geithner idiocy in place, and exactly how spending your entire life on Wall Street and never having any actual business experience leads you down the wrong path.

Sonnen may be cut someday soon, but if he is, he is okay with that because he understands exactly what makes a business work, unlike many of these other spoiled, entitled athletes that bring little to the table. Good for Chael for understanding this at a level beyond many of the other athletes, and beyond CP's understanding.
Art Gibs- June 1, 2009 at 11:47 am
Jay Smith: LOL. Looks like it's going to be a great show. If you have the dough, why not go?
Aenarion- June 1, 2009 at 11:25 am
Yea... because rich ass Chael Sonnen needs the chump change the UFC is paying him to put soda in his fridge. Because his loaded parents wouldn't take care of him if he got dropped... what a nut hugger.
Jay Smith- June 1, 2009 at 11:17 am
@ Art Gibs
Thanks dude. Speaking of jackass.......... What's even worse is I live in St. Louis. I hope no one reads this.
Art Gibs- June 1, 2009 at 11:01 am
Sonnen is a jackass. All of that could've been said in about two sentences.

Jay Smith: The Strikeforce show is this Saturday.
Jay Smith- June 1, 2009 at 10:51 am
Hey Bens, where are the videos from the strikeforce event from this past weekend?
Jay Smith- June 1, 2009 at 10:50 am
Sonnen will eventually be dropped because he has no chance of beating the guys at the top of his weight division.