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Fedor Emelianenko Is Unretiring!! Fedor is Unretiring!!! FEDOR IS UNRETIRING!!!!!!

(Yes. Goddammit, yes. The sweater. The emotionless gaze. Yes to all of this.)

If the syntax and or/grammar of this post feels a little more wonky than normal, it’s only because I’m trying to shake off the effects of a seizure I suffered this morning upon reading that FEDOR F*CKING EMELIANENKO IS COMING OUT OF RETIREMENT. FOR REALSIES.

Fedor’s full statement, followed by a series of celebratory gifs, is after the jump. 

You read that correctly; the G.O.A.T, “The Last Emperor”, the former Pride Heavyweight champion, and the creative force behind The Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory (see above) has decided to come out of step back into the cage and/or ring for the first time since his KO win over Pedro Rizzo in June of 2012. Said the man himself in an interview with Union MMA:

For every athlete it is very important to be able to engage in their favorite thing: give all the best in training, performing in competitions, defending the honor of the motherland.

During my time at the Ministry, I was able to work on the development of the sport, work closely with the presidents of sports federations, recognize the problems from within the sport, and as far as possible, try to solve them. But now I feel that it is time to return to the ring.

I was able to recover and heal old injuries. The last three years I have maintained physical form, but this level is not enough to go into battle, therefore recently I started intensive training. We have assembled a team of versatile coaches and athletes who will help me in the training process. There is still work to do to prepare to leave the ring. Negotiations are underway with promotions. Once agreements are reached, there will be information on the date of the fight and rival.

While we normally furrow our brow at this kind of announcement (our CagePotato ban on unretiring was actually inspired by the other, more rapey Emelianenko), we can’t help but even if he’s going with the old “My injuries are finally healed!” excuse for coming back. I mean, first we were bestowed with the epicness that was UFC 189, then the TUF 21 Finale, and now Fedor is back!! (*immediately begins penning Saccaro-esque think piece, The Golden Age of MMA is Upon Us, But Are We Ready For It?*)

At 38 years old, it’s safe to say that Emelianenko is taking a pretty big risk here, but it’s not like he retired on a string of losses, and who honestly is going to act like they wouldn’t tune in to watch the G.O.A.T fight again? Fedor’s got a lot left in the gas tank, if you ask me, and if you don’t like it than you can just giiiiiiiiit out.

So yeah, “The Last Emperor” is back to run sh*t. Details are scarce, but we’ll be sure to keep you in the loop. For now, let’s just bask in this photo posted to Vadim Finkelstein’s Instagram account to announce Fedor’s return. It is just primo Fedor.

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