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Gotta Pay The Bills: Roger Huerta Endorses ‘Alpha Nail’

(“It is a statement… a proclamation of the inner attitude of the alpha. It is about having the confidence that says ‘I am my own man, and will decide the rules for how I live my life according to how I see fit.” )

There are times, ‘taters, when we don’t have to put our own stamp on a post about something in pop culture that touches on the fight world in order to make it humorous.

This is one of those times.

Here’s what makes this relevant to CP – Former top UFC lightweight Roger Huerta once gave up MMA to pursue modeling and acting. He eventually returned to the sport, but not the UFC, and hasn’t been able to recreate the same success he initially he did. No shame in that and he’s not done yet if he doesn’t want to be.

But we’re fine with saying that just a tad of shame might be in order for his newest product endorsement – Alpha Nail nail polish marketed to men. Their marketing seems pretty strong (using images the fit, good looking Huerta surrounded by women while his nails, wow look at that, happen to be painted with polish) until digging deeper shows how sad it is (claims that it will make getting girls easier, ‘peacocking’ tips, etc.).

As they mention, many guys that don’t actually endorse the product, like Chuck Liddell, rock guitarist Dave Navarro and mother flipping Zac Efron (!!) paint their nails. So…you should, too. After the jump, check out the very helpful instructional video by MMA fighter Nick Gonzalez, incredible user testimonials, replete with their own douchebag lingo that takes some time to decipher and more images of cool guys being manly with nail polish on.

And, oh yeah, reason number three of why you should use Alpha Nail. Hint, it will help you have intercourse with females. Guaranteed.

Nail Polish Application and Removal Video Tutorial:

Click here for more amazing testimonials like this one:

“Went out last weekend with a few buddies who are typical AFCs to try my hand at the now famous Austin, TX scene. I was in my normal mode but I recently acquired some cool new matte nail polish colors from AlphaNail. Normally I’ll sarge on chicks with various opening strategies but this time, something was a little different. Because of the taboo of men wearing nail polish, girls were actually approaching ME and using MY nails as THEIR opener. I quickly turned it around and made them instantly bond to my confidence regarding wearing the polish and most ended up revealing to me that they actually think nail polish is sexy on a man. I closed on a HB8 and 3 more # closes. I’m going to try their metallics next as I feel that will take it to the next level.”

- Elias Cepeda

Cagepotato Comments

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ArmFarmer- November 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm
@Ricardo Did you remember the axe spray? You forgot the axe, didn't you?
Ricardo Guitardo- November 5, 2012 at 12:22 pm
This fucking shit doesn't work. I bought some of this shit and painted my nails like some cock-gobbling faggot and I still get no pussy. WTF????
teep- November 5, 2012 at 11:38 am
If you need nail polish to "help you have intercourse with females" then you need alot more help than any female can give you. And you might want to save your money on the nail polish and just pay a hooker instead of trying to find a willing partner.
ktronics- November 5, 2012 at 10:58 am
This post has so many errors it borders on unreadable.
dipsetkilla316- November 5, 2012 at 9:26 am
Taco u sit on this site all day u def get no pussy BTW what happened i thought u were gonna dabute dont worry if u do ill be ur first hater
Fried Taco- November 5, 2012 at 7:33 am
AlphaNail is for wannabes. I get my nails done professionally at a salon, while waiting for the dye to soak in during my monthly color treatments. All the fat hairdresser chicks dig it, and I bang them regularly. No, I will not tell you the name of my salon, get your own!
godspeed- November 5, 2012 at 7:32 am
As in iron maiden metal or volbeat. Rotflmfaowmdho!!!!!!
SethF- November 5, 2012 at 7:31 am
The saddest part:

"Robbie" probably got paid more for that "real" testimonial than Elias did for this article. What a crying shame.
KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike- November 5, 2012 at 6:45 am
This website needs more dubstep....and Affliction shirts...
amsterdamheavy- November 5, 2012 at 5:26 am
totally fucking gay - and whoever said that "black nail polish is metal" must be some under 30 that cant tell METAL from NU-METAL.
jayflo0808- November 5, 2012 at 5:01 am
"60% of the time, this works every time!"
Mood- November 5, 2012 at 4:54 am
Nail Polish getting you more sex? I'm sorry but the closest this will ever get to helping the sad people who would ever buy this to getting laid is when they inevitably go home drunk and alone after a night of ridicule they can look down mid-stroke and pretend "righty" is a womans hand.
joemalorx- November 5, 2012 at 4:27 am
I've always thought about painting my nails. This looks not bad, I'm sold. Thanks CP.
angry little feet- November 5, 2012 at 3:51 am
Wait - So women are supposed to find this somehow masculine and attractive?
Was that 'testimonial' even in English?
Sweet Baby Jesus - I must be more out of touch than I even realized :(
amsterdamheavy- November 5, 2012 at 5:06 am
Thats a good thing in this case, sir.
angry little feet- November 5, 2012 at 5:52 am
That would be ma'am. But yeah - I think you may be right.
NinjaVanish- November 4, 2012 at 10:14 pm
Maybe I should get this. Usually the only time chicks notice my fingernails is when I am strangling them with intention to toss the body into the bay.
Pen Fifteen- November 4, 2012 at 9:22 pm
I didn't realize this discourse of douchebaggery actually still existed, but apparently I just got old enough to stop hanging out with the kind of people who'd buy this kind of shit.
godspeed- November 4, 2012 at 8:32 pm
I'm in a rock band and Mexican American and I'm ashamed of this
mma4ever- November 4, 2012 at 7:36 pm
A man who paints his nails ...there is something a little fruity there and the girls that are cool with it shouldn't be having kids ..teaching our future generation that shit like this is ok ..not having it . Fuck all yall confused bastards
Mr_Misanthropy- November 4, 2012 at 7:15 pm
@ rockhubby

Then why do they need so many colors? To match their eye shadow?

Trust me, painting your nails is not metal. It might be some hipster emo shit but it's not metal.
holeeball- November 4, 2012 at 7:07 pm
OOH do it because you can!!

I'm starting a wrist slicing blade business right away. Big bucks here I come.
rockhuddy- November 4, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Painting your nails black is supposed to be metal, not gay.
Mr_Misanthropy- November 4, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Sooooooooper Gaaaaaaay!

What's next for the closeted brhomo crowd- are g-strings making a comeback? It's OK if you guys are gay, just come out. Homophobia is way down in most parts of the country. You can be gay and still do GTL.