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Michael Bisping Literally Cannot Decide Who He Wants to Call Out Next, Chooses Chris Weidman This Time

(*dial tone* Alcohol affects the memory.) 

Newton’s third law of motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Over the past few months, everyone from Tim Boetsch to Alan Belcher to Brian Stann have called out soft-spoken middleweight Michael Bisping, and we honestly can’t understand why. The man is a kind, yet misunderstood human being with great taste in music who has never come off as anything but respectful for as long as we’ve known him. As it goes in prison, they always seem to pick on the nice guy who doesn’t really belong there.

Recently, however, it appears that Bisping has had enough, and has turned the tables on the bullies that simply wont let him be, threatening to kick not only Stann’s ass, but calling out Hector Lombard (sort of), then Anderson Silva, and now Chris Weidman as well. Apparently fed up with all of the “respect” Weidman was receiving for “finishing” a fight against a “top” contender, Bisping took to Twitter to vent his frustrations:

Weidman looked great last night. But no1 contender? If that’s the case I want to fight him and prove I’m the number 1 contender. Let’s do it.

Now, we understand that Bisping may very well think that he’s the number one contender, despite the fact that his last win against a top or even upper-tier middleweight dates back to, you know, never, but this is getting a little redundant at this point, is it not? Bisping has called out everyone within eyeshot of a title over the past few weeks, and we think we’ve finally gotten to the root of “The Count’s” problems — multiple personality disorder. For each embittered d-bag that lies within his soul, he calls out one fighter, and it appears that even he is beginning to lose track of his preposterous claims. Why else would Bisping be seen giving Silva mad drunken props backstage at UFC 148 just moments before telling Ariel Helwani that he thought Silva’s knee was illegal and that he could do way better against him than Chael Sonnen, a.k.a the last man he lost to?

(Skip to the 47 second mark.) 

Respect: It’s an acquired skill.

To be fair, Bisping also did state that he thought Andy was “amazing,” so perhaps we’re being a little harsh on the Brit, as we are apt to do. But that still doesn’t explain why Bisping had to essentially kick Mark Munoz while he was down in a recent interview with FightersOnly:

And now Chris Weidman is calling me out. Well, he’s on a roll but I don’t think a win over a fat Mark Munoz makes you a contender. Especially when Munoz has bounced into the Octagon like he’s at a Take That concert and with a haircut that looks like Belcher’s tattooist has switched careers. Did that distract him? It distracted me. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. What was it supposed to be, do you know? Everyone’s talking about Weidman today but I tell you what, we were on the same card in January and I had to switch his fight with Maia off. I was trying to warm up backstage and the fight was putting me to sleep. I wanted to get hyped up and it was like watching paint dry. He looked good last night – or did Munoz look awful?

Jesus Christ, Michael. First off, Weidman did not call you out. He called out Anderson Silva. YOU just called HIM out. And as for his fight with Demian Maia, perhaps you have forgotten that Weidman took the fight on just eleven days notice. It appears we can throw a little early onset dementia into the mix of potential mental diseases Bisping is suffering from as well.

All we’re saying is, if Bisping wants to fight Belcher, Boetsch, or Stann, because they actually did call him out, then he should stick with one of those fights and just shut the hell up. You’d have to be crazy to think he deserves a shot at Anderson, but if he wants to take on Weidman to prove that he does (granted you feel that Weidman is the true #1 contender), then he should simply stick to that theory and shut the hell up. His solution to all of this, of course, is to fight all of these bums in one night:

Yeah it seems like I am the man of the moment right now doesn’t it? That’s fine by me, I’m a professional fighter and I’ve not been busy enough lately to be honest so, I will happily fight all three of them – Stann, Weidman and Belcher can all have it. I’ve got no problem fighting and beating all three of them, either on three consecutive cards or all on one night if they want. Listen, Belcher’s getting on my nerves. He keeps saying he has got the style to beat me – what style? No man with a tattoo like that can talk to anyone about style! He’s been calling me out for a while now so I’d say to him, when you beat someone other than a pure jiu jitsu guy then call me. Brian Stann I respect, fine, I think we are on collision course and we can have that fight. I’ll win. 

They all seem like nice guys, good luck to them – except Belcher, he’s been getting on my nerves so lets not include him [in the good luck wishes] – but I will happily fight them all, no problem. I want to be the champion and I think I am one more win away from a title shot. And any of these guys can be my first defences.

So wait, none of these guys have earned a shot against Silva, but once you become champion (lolz), then they can fight for the title?

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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XENOPHON- July 13, 2012 at 8:43 pm
Back @ J.Jones - 2 comments. One he is fast for a muscle bound man, and once he grabbed that heel hook, it didn't look like many men would be able to avoid the ensuring pain.

Thanks for the historic footage and locating it. Let me ask, from his top game did anyone see any holes in it? He seems to transition fast and he is stronger than most to keep that position.

The question is, did he leave himself open to a counter Jits move during that clip. I thought I saw him leave his undefended a bit, and wonder if Some one as good as Silva could lock him up because of rookie mistakes?
bitteralex- July 13, 2012 at 1:09 pm
"and with a haircut that looks like Belcher’s tattooist has switched careers."
lol well done ser.. uncalled for but well done nonetheless...
J.Jones- July 13, 2012 at 12:59 pm
@Xeno, here's a vid of Lombard's heel hook victory over TUF 7 finalist Jesse Taylor last year. The quality isn't great, and Taylor isn't exactly a BJJ whiz, but it gets the point across:
XENOPHON- July 13, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Lombard will break most of everyone in his class in half. I have not watched too many of his fights that lasted long enough to his his ground game. If there is video of Lombard on the mat that is in public domain, please send me the link(s).
XENOPHON- July 13, 2012 at 12:50 pm
NO, No, no...Master Seagal, your the best!

If not for Master Seagal being around and spending so much time with his aspiring student Anderson Silva, Silva would have lost the belt long ago to Thales Lietes or Demian Maia.
Ricardo Guitardo- July 13, 2012 at 11:55 am
Everyone knows lombard will fail his first piss test with flying colors.
Twanky- July 13, 2012 at 11:50 am
Bisping will get knocked out early by Stann or Belcher. Who has beat lately...? He shouldn't even be considered in a No1 contender fight. I say throw him to Chael for a consolation demolition.
Pen Fifteen- July 13, 2012 at 11:46 am
Does Ritardo Guitardo ever get tired of beating the same dead horse in every fucking comment he posts?
paperplane- July 13, 2012 at 11:37 am
Lol he ducked Lombard
The_Dead_Cow- July 13, 2012 at 11:24 am
Weidman vs. Belcher for top contender seems to make the most sense right now. Some combination of Bisping/Stann/Belfort would also make for some good scraps.
Ricardo Guitardo- July 13, 2012 at 10:43 am
How does CP decide which fighters they will lick their ballsacks clean and which fighters they dont like and trash all over the place?
J.Jones- July 13, 2012 at 10:45 am
Over a tankard of ale, of course.
FilmDrunk- July 13, 2012 at 10:20 am
Bisping is one of the biggest asshole cunts ever, but I did think Sonnen's decision over him was bullshit.
Romanhelmut- July 13, 2012 at 9:43 am
On what premise does a douche like Bisping think he deserves a shot after coming off a loss? He is right about Belchers tattoo....that tattoist should be ass raped.