(18 seconds in = that moment when you realize you’ve literally been screaming obscenities on national television for the past 15 seconds. Props to FightersOnly.)
We should all be thanking our lucky stars for tape delay, because if it weren’t for the quick minds (and fingers) of the UFC’s censorship department, some of our children might have had their minds permanently tainted by the obscene gestures and naughty words used by two men trying to beat the ever-loving shit out of each other last Saturday night. And that is unacceptable. I mean, violence is one thing, but the middle finger being thrown about all willy-nilly?! I don’t want my illegitimate children growing up in that kind of cold, harsh world.
And God forbid the censors had let the onslaught of f-bombs delivered by BJ Penn‘s trainer during his introduction (as captured above) slip past them, or we would have had a full blown crisis on our hands. As you can see, the gentlemen to the top left of the screen — likely through some sort of Hawaiian, mumbo-jumbo voodoo ritual that involves the repeated shouting of curse words — somehow absorbed all of the energy Penn was supposed to have stored up for his fight with Rory MacDonald in the moments beforehand. It’s the only explanation of how Penn gassed in a minute and a half, and the defense I am prepared to use whilst trapping my disappointment in his performance deep in the recesses of my soul.
Anyway, I spent most of my morning
drowning my sorrows in alcohol compiling a playlist of awesome, semi-MMA-related videos from around the web that will last you through your lunch break, so check ‘em out after the jump.
(Props to MMAlinker.)
Up next, an appearance by a young Megumi Fujii on the legendary Japanese game show Sasuke, or as it is better known, Ninja Warrior. Personally, I was always more of a Takeshi’s Castle/MXC fan myself, but I’ll admit, the (SPOLIER) Jump Hang obstacle that Fujii eats it on looks like it would be pretty damn tough in its own right. Not being run over with a Temple of Doom boulder tough, but a hell of a lot more badass than the padded down, kiddie-league bullshit that is the current American version of NW.
(Props to ZombieProphet.)
So everyone’s favorite probably homeless fighter, Charles “Krazy Horse” Bennett, returned to action over the weekend, taking on the 13-10 Ronnie “Bam Bam” Rogers. Having dropped three out of his last four fights, a surprisingly reserved Bennett — which I’m going to blame on the quaaludes Bennett has probably been making in the alleyway — engaged in a surprisingly technical scrap with Rogers. But don’t worry, we were treated to a couple of Bennett’s infamous slams before he got (SPOILER) choked out at the end of the first. Don’t worry, Krazy Horse, we hear Dana White’s got a one room cardboard bungalow available for rent.
(Props to MiddleEasy.)
And speaking of homeless people, this playlist wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t show you the interaction between Nick Diaz and a homeless man with one of the honest-to-God most disturbing health conditions I’ve ever seen. Although I think his “Fuck you, pay me” sign is lacking a little creativity, I can see why it would appeal to a guy like Nick Diaz, who has literally been saying the exact same thing his entire career. And like the vagrant, Nick doesn’t know what it’s like to buy a house either!
That last one was a freebie.